.because you stop the noise

16Sept08 - go fuck yourself

The flash went off, capturing the droplet of sweat running down between his shoulderblades. His hands outstretched infront of him, palms down against the cold grey wall in front of which his knees dug into the wooden floor. The wall that made him look like the singular splash of color in a black and white movie. Especially now that he was spending more time in the sun, bringing out the freckles you wouldn't even know were there. Not unless you had permission to look closely. But there was only one person who had such privileges. The one holding the camera. "Ye..ah..." Gerard shivvered, catching his bottom lip between his teeth to try and stop it from shaking as the camera flash went off again. His thighs feeling the sting but only a dull pain now as he slowly lowered himself.

........................................................

The look on Bert's face when this particular toy delivery arrived that morning at their door was something that had Gerard laughing from his gut for longer than is healthy. "Is it Frank's birthday?" Bert tilted his head inspecting the XXX labelled package inside the box. It would make sense to send Frank a nice big toy to make up for the cock he hasn't been getting anymore.

Gerard hated when Bert brought up Frank's name but he laughed anyway. Maybe that was just his own nervousness when Bert waved the toy's life-size around, giggling like only he can. "Or..." pausing to raise a cheeky brow. "... is this for me? For when you fuck off on tour?"

Gerard blinked back at him in that same way he did all those years ago when Bert presumed Gerard would be doing the 'fucking' in this relationship. Bert immediately caught on. That look of utter surprise was hard to miss. His entire face turned to that of horror as the waving started up again. "When I told you last week to go fuck yourself, I didn't mean get a 9 inch neon pink latex cock from tearmyholetoshreads.com!"

"I just thought I'd feel what you feel when..."

"No...."

"Bert..."

"Nope." Bert packed the dildo right the fuck back in it's fancy casing. "We fit perfect. No way you're fucking with that just so you can take a joy ride on a you-sized disco dick. Two rides on this and next time we fuck it'll be like tossing a frankfurter down the corridor."

"You know the human body doesn't work like that right?" Gerard stood up, irritated that Bert would even utter such ignorant words. "I'm not gonna all of a sudden be numb to you just cause I try something bigger. You sound like one of those idiot guys who think a girl gets..." Gerard gags a bit. He can't believe these words are about to leave his mouth, but there's just no other way to put it really. "... that a girl gets... looser, ugh, the more sex she has."

Bert's whole face screwed up between the shock and delight of hearing Gerard even talk about vaginas but also the terror of the context. "YOU don't have a pussy!" He announced, hands up in the air.

Gerard drew a sharp breath, balling his hands into fists. His eyes went from wide as pie plates to a deep scowl. "Thanks." And marched up to Bert.

"For what?" Bert answered as if completely oblivious to Gerard's sensitivity. To be fair... it wasn't something that his lover often showed. Sensitivity that is.

"Nothing." As the older man snatched the toy right out the box and marched off onwards their bedroom. "Absolutely nothing."

It took a minute. A long minute but Bert eventually did come to terms with what he had done. Where he had gone wrong. Which also... wasn't an event that often occurred. But he was learning. They both were. Which buttons should and which definitely should not ever be pressed. The man stood in the living room, just breathing and going through every second of their argument in his mind, hearing his own words being shouted back to himself. Confronted with his own ignorance and wincing at it. "Shit." He breathed out.

Bert spun around, eyeing the shelf by the tv. He would never tell Gerard where he got the idea of course but it was no secret between himself and his band mates that a few years ack, when his own self esteem was down or indeed when it was sky high... the only thing that made sense to a certain guitarist was for the camera to come out. Yes. Because Bert McCracken made a habit of claiming other people's ideas as his own. Mostly because people let him but also because he hardly gave people the opportunity to oppose his claim. This too he shall claim. And he grabbed the camera on a quest to try and make Gerard feel better.

.................................................

"Bert..." Gerard's arms were shaking as he held them out against the wall. "I... I c ccan't." stilling himself, trying not to slip down the phallus too fast and tear himself to shreds.

"Yeah you can, baby." Bert's deep sultry voice encouraging him from two feet away. "You look so damn good." and the camera flash went off again. "So fucking pretty."