A/N: chapter one of hanahaki (the disease where you cough up petals because of unrequited love) fanfiction !!
kokichi pov
Kokichi looked down at the blue petals that had forced themselves out.
It was bad enough being in a killing game. Now he had to deal with these flowers in his lungs??
As much as he didn't want to admit it, he knew why they were there.
Unrequited love. That Hanahaki disease thing.
That's why he was in pain. Because he stupidly fell in love with someone in one of the worst possible situations!
Well, ok, it's not like he meant to. He didn't even realize it before he coughed up the first petal. Falling in love with someone would be a really bad choice, there's no way anyone would willingly do that.
But he couldn't deny it like he wanted to. Not when there was a constant reminder.
He was... in love with someone. And the "someone" he's in love with was Shuichi. He could tell by the way his coughing acted up when he was around him. Of course the dumb love disease did that.
And it only made sense for it to be Shuichi. He's the only one that at least tries to tolerate Kokichi.
As for exactly why he liked him, it was hard to explain. Shuichi was just so...Shuichi. It's always hard to explain why you like someone, especially for Kokichi. Emotions are a weird thing that he's usually too..."scared" to think about.
And it was an unusual situation. He couldn't admit this to himself and then be happy about it, he wasn't in the position to.
Hanahaki disease doesn't just go away, but maybe, just maybe... if he pushed Shuichi out of his mind enough or convinced himself Shuichi wasn't as good as he was, it would stop...?
It was very wishful thinking but what else could he do? Confess? He'd just get rejected and the flowers would grow worse. There was no way that Shuichi would ever like him back, he didn't show any signs that he did. If anything, he showed the opposite. The only other way out would be to get the surgery but he couldn't do that, he was in a killing game.
So really,the only option was to suffer. It seemed to fit him.
At least it wasn't that bad. He hadn't started coughing up full flowers yet, only petals. And he didn't cough that much, unless he was around Shuichi. It hurt, sure. And he always felt sick. But he just had to deal with it.
*knock knock*
It was Shuichi, wasn't it?
He was the only one who ever came by Kokichi's room. Sure, there was a chance it was someone else. But that was a low chance.
Kokichi threw away the petals in the trash. He didn't want to look at them anymore. Since Shuichi was here, he'd probably cough up more anyways!
He already felt himself getting sicker as he walked to the door.
Yes, he doesn't have to open it. But he will,only to completely annoy Shuichi and drive him away. That way, maybe the stupid feelings will go away too.
And plus, not opening the door would probably just make Shuichi worried, which was not what Kokichi wanted.
So he opened the door.
There Shuichi was, smiling a little nervously,"Hey, Kokichi. Do you,uh, want to hang out with me, maybe?"
He had no idea why Shuichi kept wanting to hang around with him. All he did was make him confused, so what was the point?
