A/N: last part!!! btw if youre nonbinary i want you to have a cookie
On second thought, maybe they should have told Shuichi.
Maybe they should have let themselves feel happy for once.
Maybe then, they wouldn't be crying outside in the middle of the night.
It was just all too much. The spiral started again.
They're not a boy. Of course they're not a boy. Are they a boy? Was this a mistake? Are they lying again? Are they lying for attention? Is this feeling for attention? Would it even matter? No one cares what they have to think anyway.
Just over and over again. They needed to cry about it. Outside, where the air was a little cleaner. That case, they wouldn't break down even more due to how uncomfortable it was in their room.
They had no idea what they were feeling. Was this dysphoria? When they get uncomfortable when they know people see them as a boy, is that dysphoria? Is the reaction they get when looking at their body dysphoria?
Or were they pretending? Were they lying again? They always did say they were selfish-
"Kokichi?"
Oh shit.
"Shuichi! Hi!" Kokichi greeted, forcing their face into a smile. Hopefully, their tears aren't noticeable, but realistically, they probably were. But whatever, they're just going to lie about how they feel anyway, right?
"Are you okay?" Shuichi asked, sitting down next to them
They could lie about this... They could. But it hurt to. It hurt to lie sometimes. And was it even worth it? Shuichi was clearly onto them. And he was trustworthy right? Right? He wouldn't laugh in their face, right? Right? Would he? He would, wouldn't' he? Just like everyone else.
"You can trust me" Shuichi reassured. And wow, it felt great to hear those words. What, was Shuichi a mind reader or something? Not that Kokichi believed him wholeheartedly, but it did make them feel a little bit better.
They still weren't gonna tell him about anything though.
They weren't. Nope. Not at all. No no no.
Not a chance. Sharing secrets in here is one of the worst things you can do. They can't trust anyone in here, ok maybe Shuichi, but no, not Shuichi. If they start thinking like that, they'll be in trouble. There was no way they were going to tell Shuichi this secret. It's not like he'd care anyway. Why would he care about them?-
"I'm not a boy" they blurted, trying to break free of their own thoughts.
Oh, fuck, they said it. They said it out loud. Out loud! They weren't supposed to do that.
"That's okay" Shuichi reassured, turning to look at them.
That's okay??? He thinks its okay??? Really? What type of "okay"?
He didn't look uncomfortable, if anything he looked like he might accept them...
But it's too early to determine that.
"What do you identify as, then?" Shuichi questioned. It looked as if he was genuinely wanted to know the answer. Like, he cared, just a little bit.
But Kokichi didn't really know the answer.
Let's go through the options.
Boy? No
Girl? No
Nonbinary? ...Sure
Demiboy? No
