a/n: yay!! they meet again!!! this is the final part btw
2 weeks had passed since the last time Shuichi attempted to see Kokichi. Every day since then just felt like it was getting worse.
Without anyone to reach out to, Kokichi was falling apart more and more every second.He couldn't vent to anyone, he couldn't even speak most of the time. So his thoughts were hidden within himself, hurting him more and more, creating deeper wounds that he didn't know if he'd ever recover from. Even when after a while, when the pain became more usual and numbing, he still felt like he wasn't living right at all. Just existing in some sort of grey fog, his undeniable loneliness giving him sharp pains in his mind and heart.
...He found himself wishing he would hear a knock on the door again. But why would Shuichi come back? Kokichi was a loser, a monster, he could really be any negative word you think of! Every part of him knew deserved to be alone, he knew that, so why would he ever wish for Shuichi to have to deal with him?
Yet on that same note, faced with the guilt of leaving him alone, Shuichi's mental health was spiraling as well.
He felt awful about the contents in the game, awful about how incompetent he was in helping others even now. Not just with Kokichi, he couldn't help anyone. He saw the others' smiles fading each day, and he couldn't bring himself to offer any advice. No, all giving advice would do is bother them, he didn't understand their struggles, he didn't die like they did. How dare he even try to help them when he couldn't even end the killing game until it was too late? He's a poor excuse of a detective, a poor excuse of a protagonist. He couldn't save anyone, so how could hehelp anyone?
The thoughts the two both had were intense, consistent, painful. They chained them both up in their own heads and didn't let them out again, except for those brief moments of clarity where they almost reached for the other's doorknob yet again, before their mind coming back in full force and not letting them take another step closer.
It hurt to walk away. When really, they needed each other. A chance to just talk again, to either reconcile or leave a final word. They wouldn't be able to feel better until they did.
But they were both stubborn in their beliefs, so it really seemed that the only way they would ever meet again was by chance.
Luckily, it seemed like fate was on their side.
It was late at night, about 3 am. Most people were asleep by now, and if they weren't, they stayed in their rooms anyways.
But unfortunately, Kokichi had to leave the comfort of his own room this time as he didn't have any drinks left stored. Most times, he kept his room stocked with snacks and drinks so he didn't have to go out often and see anyone. And then there was Shuichi who gave him food and drinks as well...But over the last two weeks, he was losing motivation to come out of his room at all. So he had been living on the little food and little drink that he had left, along with what he picked up whenever he felt a little bit better. Unfortunately, those "feeling better" moments were rare, so he ran out of drinks quickly. And though he had dealt with being dehydrated well for the past day, crying without being hydrated didn't really work. There was a vending machine on their hotel floor, placed there for convenience of the guests, so he supposed he could drag himself out of bed for a bit to grab at least something.
It was hard to stand up, but he managed. He couldn't change out of his clothes into anything more presentable but he opened the door and closed it without feeling any type of dread or exhaustion! Maybe that was something to be proud of. But how could he ever be proud of himself anymore?
