A/N: kokichi is nonbinary in this one!
Kokichi really wanted nothing more than to spend the holidays with Shuichi.
They've daydreamed about it for months before this, them two cuddling on a couch under blankets and watching some sappy holiday television show neither of them cared about. Laughing and smiling with each other, ignoring the cold weather outside with the warmth of each other. Maybe drink some hot chocolate or eat some badly-made holiday cookies.
But they both weren't close enough for that anymore, were they?
They used to be. There was a time where they barely could be without each other! Every day they would be in one of their rooms, both sharing space and sharing feelings they never thought they'd admit.
But Shuichi seemed so far away now!
He had moved into his own house, paid for by Team Danganronpa of course. Still, at least he had the whole house thing figured out, Kokichi couldn't even leave the hotel that Team Danganronpa gave them.
They just weren't ready! They hated the stares they would get outside, they hated being known as the "ultimate supreme leader" that "annoyed" everyone and "ruined" the game.
They didn't hate the fans, the ones that appreciated them, but for some reason, every time they went outside they didn't come in contact with any.
So they couldn't buy a house, that would require the kind of social interaction that filled them with fear. They just couldn't handle looking at someone offering them a new place to live with a fake smile, while they knew that they secretly loathe them.
Shuichi was different, however, he was regarded by most as a hero for putting an end to the game. Or even if that wasn't the case, people just generally liked his character! He was the type of person that people wanted to be friends with or even fall in love with. Kokichi would know.
So buying a house must've been a bit easier for him. Not entirely amazing, but at least the people who talked to him would have actually respected him.
And as happy as Kokichi was for Shuichi for accomplishing this, and how proud they were of him for attempting to move on, they couldn't deny that they were upset.
Because they both were apart now. Kokichi's room felt empty now, and they felt utterly alone. The only person they ever had in this place was Shuichi. And really, he was the only reason it was even bearable living here.
Now, Kokichi couldn't help being reminded of all of the tragedies of the killing game, all the tragedies that they caused. It was even tougher sleeping, their nightmares coming back to attack them with more vengeance. Because they couldn't turn around to see Shuichi, there was no comfort when they woke up in the middle of the night, their heart beating out of their chest.
And they didn't like admitting they were weak all the time, but theywere. They needed the support they were missing! The kind that Shuichi used to give them. The little whispers of comfort and the soft hugs here and there...
Sure, they still texted sometimes, and occasionally called, but it just wasn't the same as before! It had been 3 months since they last saw each other in person.
And Kokichi would leave the hotel to see him, but again,they were scared. They barely even left the hotel usually, and they only did so when Shuichi used to come with them.
Shuichi...
Kokichi missed him so much. It was so different without him. So much worse. They missed his smile, his laugh, his voice, even his hair and how stupidly soft it was.
