A/N: after killing game,, kokichi is depressed and shuichi misses him
The room Shuichi woke up in was cold.
And unfamiliar.
And...scary.
But he quickly figured out why he was here. This wasn't the killing game, not even close. And when he saw the faces of the friends he thought were dead rushing in a few minutes later, he connected the dots.
It was hard to live on, knowing what happened. Shuichi's mental health was about destroyed.
But it was easier with everyone around. They all struggled together.
One person was missing.
No one mentioned it.
But it was so obivous.
The absence of Kokichi left a space in everyone's conversations. Like they were all waiting for him to pop in and say something. But he never did.
Every time that happened, Shuichi imagined what he would say, what he would do. He would imagine his smile, his laugh.
But it wasn't there. He wasn't there.
The only person who had ever saw him was Kaito, as he had woken up around the same time.
Shuichi asked him what he was like.
And Kaito told him that Kokichi didn't speak to anyone. Not even to ask questions. His eyes looked blank and he barely moved. He refused to eat or drink anything. The doctors were worried and kept him in the hospital room for much longer than Kaito was there.
No one was allowed to visit his hospital room. It was likely that Kokichi himself asked for that.
And after he left, Kokichi wasn't seen by anyone. They were all assigned rooms to stay in, and Kokichi was most likely locked in there. Others had tried to visit, but the door never opened. There was no sound to even confirm he was there.
Shuichi didn't try to visit. He didn't know what he would say.
He had been thinking a lot lately, about the game and about what he did during it. His guilt drove him to overly apologize to everyone though none really blamed him.
But he hadn't apologized to Kokichi yet. He didn't know how.
The realizations of what Kokichi really did came after he woke up. It was too late, all of his in game reactions were recorded for everyone to see. For Kokichi to see.
Shuichi knew better now. He thought about Kokichi's plan numerous times, imagining what it must have been like to keep that a secret. To distance yourself from everyone and make yourself a target. To go so far as to kill someone and yourself just to take a chance to possibly save some more lives.
Possibly save Shuichi's life
But Shuichi wasn't paying attention to that in the game. He wasn't paying attention to him in the game. And who he truly was. And what he was really doing.
He couldn't make the same mistake twice.
But if Kokichi wouldn't open the door for anyone else, why would he open the door for him?
He wouldn't.
The time Shuichi saw Kokichi again was complete chance. It was late, past midnight. Shuichi was in the cafeteria they were forced to eat at. He didn't feel like sleeping tonight, too many nightmares. It was quiet in here and he liked the quiet, so he pulled out a book someone had sent him and started reading.
