17 -The beginning of the second life

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Can

I arrived at the park where I had an appointment with Emre with some trepidation, I had missed him so much, I had to admit it.
There had been so many misunderstandings between us, but also thanks to the beneficial influence Sanem had on me, I had managed to learn to be less categorical in my relationships with others and to forgive my brother for what he had done to Sanem and me.

Now I knew, nothing is black and white, the world and the relationships between people can be colored with a thousand facets, thanks to Sanem I had learned to forgive and I had accepted Emre with his flaws.
He was my brother and fortunately Layla had been a good influence on him.

It was a pity that with Sanem I hadn't put into practice the good advice he had given me. Sighing, I looked around and there he was, always impeccable in his office suit.
I probably would have looked homeless.

- Abi? -

- Can? -

We hugged each other in a desperate embrace, we had missed each other and we were telling each other as we had never done it with words, we hugged each other now also to console ourselves of the lack that Huma had imposed on us in our childhood. We loosened our embrace only to look into each other's eyes, that was enough to say it all.

We sat on a bench looking at each other for a few moments, it was the moment of truth, I had to know how to choose the right words because a wrong move would have triggered events that could have led to the definitive laceration of my relationship with Sanem.

I turned to him and for the first time I said out loud, proudly.

- I have a son abi, I am a father-

He looked at me dumbfounded, brought his hands to his hair in a gesture of disbelief and then embraced me in the sweetest brotherly hug we had ever exchanged.
He was obviously excited, he kept patting me on the back whispering
- Tebrikler, tebrikler, congratulations abi! - We shared in that moment pure joy, I was happy and he was happy for me, I could feel it.

Then came the time for questions, he looked at me uncertainly, he didn't know if he could afford to ask, I mean, I had been away for a year, there had been plenty of time to get to know someone and make a new life somewhere in the world.
He was almost afraid to ask, I could see it in his gaze.

I reassuringly put my hand on his knee, trying to weigh my words carefully, it was essential that I did so.
- Bak abi, look I have only you, baba, Metin and Akif in this life. I feel I can only trust you blindly, now I am asking you for a huge sacrifice. I know I'm putting a huge burden on you, but please, trust me, right now I can't do anything else, I have to beg you to keep a huge secret for me. Can you do that?
I had put him on the spot, he moved restlessly on the bench, lowered his head a moment to gather his thoughts and then took my hand
- I'll do anything you ask, I was wrong with you, a lifetime won't be enough to make it up to you, ask me anything you want, I'll do anything -

I closed my eyes grateful, I knew I could count on him, I squeezed his hand in turn and turned to him.

- I had a beautiful baby, it's wonderful Emre, you'll see, you'll fall in love at first sight. It's the most beautiful gift that this life could give me and it was ......Sanem who gave it to me.

I saw him open his eyes wide once again, if the idea that I had a son had pleasantly surprised him, now the news that it was Sanem who gave him to me left him literally stunned.
He remained lost in thought for a few moments and then sighed, imagining the disruptive scope of the secret I wanted him to keep for me, he nodded sadly. He had learned to love Sanem and he still regretted manipulating and betraying her, he owed it to her too, it was the least he could do to redeem himself.
Of course, having to keep it a secret from Layla would be a heavy burden.
He nodded again and asked - What can I do for you? How can I help you?

I sighed, relieved, he understood, no one should know about the birth of little Nihat, it would happen in due time.

I began to explain the situation, how fate had brought me back to my Sanem, how much I still loved her and that the time had come to rebuild my life.
I was going to stay on my boat anchored at Old Yusuf's dock so I could be near Sanem and the baby.
I was going to get my car back and, if it was okay with him and Dad, I was going to start working for the agency again as a photographer.
He knew about Dad's return and we agreed to meet him together as soon as possible.

We hugged again when it was time to go, he kept his hands on my arms, looked at my hair, my beard, my frayed clothing and smiling he advised me to clean myself up, not a state that befitted a new father.

We left each other smiling, happy to have found each other again after a lifetime of lack and misunderstanding.

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