A love reborn from the ashes.

27 - Regrets

Sanem

I met up at the usual restaurant with Ali, he was thrilled with the news about the book and happy to tell me that my first work was now also on sale in Asian countries.
I couldn't believe it, I could never have thought that my dream could become reality and I could never have imagined that it would be sold all over the world.
I was really happy!

We said goodbye with the intention of meeting again the following week to sign some documents and to start studying the strategy for the launch of the second book.
Ali thought that if I unveiled my identity at the same time as the second book launch, we would achieve exceptional sales numbers.

I had serious doubts about doing this, as becoming a public figure would have meant notoriety and interest in my private life as well as, of course, the obligation of promotional tours for the book launch.
I had no intention of leaving my son for a long period of time or to drive him around the world with my commitments, but I promised him that I would think about it.

Before returning home I needed to get some new clothes for Nihat, so I went to a nearby mall and headed to the children's clothing department. I was ecstatic at the sight of dungarees and booties when I heard someone call my name. I turned around and faced my worst nightmare.

Huma

I was as bored as usual, to get to the evening of yet another endless day I decided to go and buy a little present for Ayla's daughter, the lady who kept my house in order, who had just had a baby.
I began to wander through the aisles of the baby store enchanted by those tiny, soft, colorful little dresses.

Ah, how many regrets I had. I was alone, completely and irretrievably alone.
Emre and Layla had gone to live on the other side of town, I rarely saw my son for lunch somewhere near the agency but nothing more. They had never invited me into their home, I was clearly not a welcome guest. I couldn't blame Layla, I hadn't been friendly to her at all and had done everything in my power to make her sister unhappy.

I had succeeded and the only result I had achieved was losing my children. Can was gone and we hadn't heard from him for a whole year while I struggled to have a relationship with Emre who was uncomfortable, he didn't want to wrong his wife, who was so sad since Sanem had moved to another city also because of me.

If one day they had a baby I doubt Layla would have allowed me to be little more than an acquaintance to the little one, how could I blame her? I had been a bad mother, who would have believed that I could be a grandmother?

Not to mention Mevkibe and Nihat, I think they also blamed me for the separation of Can and Sanem that was the cause of the girl's departure from Istanbul. Knowing how close they were to their daughter, I imagined that they were very resentful towards me.

On the other hand, after our stormy beginnings, I had begun to grow fond of them and the people in that strange neighborhood, when I went to visit them I felt like family, a feeling I had never experienced in my life unfortunately, I had managed to destroy my own family.

While I was distracted by these thoughts I caught a familiar figure in the opposite lane.

Sanem? What was she doing here?

I watched her fill the trolley with baby clothes, booties, hats and diapers for 4/5 month old babies. I was intrigued, who were those purchases for?

I approached her and called her - Sanem?

I saw her stiffen and freeze in her movement to pick up a t-shirt.
She turned to me and looked at me as if she had seen a ghost.

-Huma?

I wanted to get closer to know how she was, why she was there but she didn't give me the time. He hastily threw the T-shirt into the cart and walked away, saying goodbye to me.

- Hoscakal, goodbye -

I stood there thinking about his strange behavior, I thought I should go to Fikri harika to see Emre, maybe I would have some information about Sanem's return.

Sanem

I ran like the devil was after me. I wonder how I came up with the Huma/devil association?

I quickly paid for my purchases and left the mall with the desire to return home as quickly as possible, as I had always felt judged, challenged and threatened in front of Huma. I only wanted the peace of my corner of paradise and to hold my baby in my arms.

I hoped that Huma hadn't noticed what I was buying or she might have mentioned it to Layla or worse, to my mother, even though I don't think she frequented them very much.

I got in the car and rushed to the cottage, realizing I was running late and was sorry to disturb Denise. I turned the corner to find myself in front of a breathtaking sight. An elegant table had been set under our willow tree. Near the hammock, there were flowers and candles everywhere scattered on the lawn and on the rocking chair the men in my life.

Can looked like the Can of the early days, his hair neatly tied back, a blue polo shirt that only highlighted his tanned skin and muscular arms complemented by classically cut black pants.

He held Nihat in his arms and spoke softly to him while the little one toddled around and smiled happily.
My heart could hardly bear all the love I felt for those two creatures.

Can looked up and put his gaze on me, giving me a devastating smile.

Ah Sanem Ah!

How can you resist this man?