why won't you love me? [M.G.C]

19

Quinn Blake

Everyone was on the couch and I noticed something was off about Michael. His whole attitude changed. I looked over at him as he was staring down at the floor, zoned out.

I tried to get his attention but made sure nobody really noticed except him. He looked up at me and we locked eyes. I opened my lips and mouthed to him 'do you need to talk to someone?'

He looked down again and I could tell he was thinking about it. He looked back up to me and nodded. I got up and went to the back door and walked out slowly not saying anything.

Michael soon then followed me and we both sat on a bench. I looked at him. 'is something bothering you Michael?' i said. His whole face became red, his eyes started to become glossy. I've barely seen Michael cry before.

He opened his mouth a bit but immediately shut it after. I knew something was bothering him. 'is it about crystal?' i asked. He looked down and shrugged.

'what's it about Michael?' i sighed and went to brush my hand against his arm and he flinched and pulled away from me. Something was bothering him bad. 'Michael you can tell me.'

He looked up at me and tears started to fall down his face. He quickly wiped them. 'Crystal, Luke, management, you, everything. I ruined a lot Quinn. Don't you see. Do you think it's easy for me to see you with somebody else?' he said as he looked back up at me.

I didn't really know what to say. 'what do you mean Michael. Do you have a problem with me being with Luke?' i asked. His quickly turned his head and took a deep breath.

'of course I have a problem with it Quinn. I just keep ruining for things for me, and yes I know. You and Luke are happy together and I don't wanna get in the way or anything but I just can't stand the fact that you're dating Luke.' he blurted out and stood up.

I quickly turned my head to see if anyone was coming this way outside. Memories kept flashing back to 2011. I quickly stood up to face him. 'Well you are the one who ended it remember? Kissed me and then told me that we'd be better off as friends.' i said trying not to tear up.

'I didn't want to ruin our friendship over it. But look what I did. Look where we are now. You are dating Luke for god's sake!' he yelled a bit but not too loud for everyone to hear.

'You left me! I'm happy with Luke. You got on that plane and never texted me. Never called me. Never did shit for me Michael! You just disappeared.' i yelled back with a crack in my voice.

He looked at me with disbelief. 'I had to because of management Quinn!' he yelled a little louder. I shook my head not believing him even though Luke told me already.

'I don't care what management told you to do. You were 16 at the damn time! A teen! You could've texted me. You could've called me that you got to Los Angeles fucking safe! Do you know how worried sick I was. I didn't even get a text. Nothing Michael.' my voice cracked again and I turned my head.

'then you forgot about me and dated Crystal huh. Apparently you got new management. Why didn't you text me then. Even a good 'hey' would make me feel better then what i've been feeling for the past 7 years.' i said tearing up more.

I stepped closer to him. 'everyday i waited for a text. From you, luke, calum or ashton. But nothing' i said as i poked his chest. 'i was left alone. You guys were the only closest friends I have. Don't get me wrong, you guys are living your dream and I don't wanna take it from you. But you could've at least talked to me!' i poked his chest harder.

He looked down at me with tears filling his eyes. We both couldn't speak after. Tears ran down my face and i wiped them, getting some mascara on my fingers. Great, i probably look like a mess.

'you could've done something.' i said as tears rolled down.

'i told you i couldn't-' he tried to say until i cut him off.

'it's not like they took your damn phone!' i yelled louder. 'i was broken Michael! This is all your fault!'

He quickly wrapped his arms around me and pulled me close to him. I tried to hit his chest as I cried into it also.

The door slid open and I saw Luke and Ashton walk outside looking at us. Luke quickly rushed to me and looked at Michael.

'woah woah what happened' Luke said as he rubbed my back. I quickly shot my head up and looked at Luke.

'don't act like this wasn't your fault either.' i said as I broke away from Michael and Luke. I looked over at Ashton.

'and you..' i tested up again as I wiped my other tears. 'you didn't even try..'

Ashton looked at me confused. Luke tried to grab my arm and I pushed it away. 'Maybe i'm acting like a bitch, maybe i'm taking this too far. Maybe i'm crying over nothing. But you guys didn't even try for me.' i cried a bit and looked at them. Ashley and Calum rushed outside and Ashley rushed to me.

I just need to go upstairs and be alone. I pushed past everyone and went upstairs. I quickly shut the door and locked it. My head and my back immediately met the door and i slid down slowly.

I hated arguing but it just had to be done. All of them hurt me. The first few weeks gutted. I always waited for a text from them. But just nothing. Nothing.

I hated it. Months after months of constant silence from them. I found them on insta, but never listened to them. I never followed them. I did go through their insta but it hurt so much.

All the memories would come in and hurt me even more. Then years went by. I was used to it by then, but it would still hurt.

Then i met Ashley in college. I told her everything. She always listened and comforted me. She still does now. I'm just scared if Ashton breaks her.

Ashton is so sweet but he can be ashton sometimes. I just don't want her to be hurt like I am.

I slowly lifted my hand up and wiped my tears. My mascara was probably running down my face. Then I heard some whispers from outside of my door. I shook my head a bit. I slowly got up and went into my bathroom that was connected to my room.

I opened the package of makeup wipes and took off the remaining mascara off of my face and eyelashes. I swiftly threw it away and changed into other clothes.

Maybe an hour went by. I then unlocked the door. All the lights were off in my room. I was under the covers staring into the darkness. I tried not to think about anything.

But I just couldn't. The words that Michael said kept replaying in my head. The words that came out of my mouth kept replaying. I just couldn't stop.

One breakdown here and there started. Tears were rolling down my face constantly. I just couldn't hold it in anymore. I felt numb inside but tears constantly fell down.

The door slowly opened and some light came into the room. I wiped my tears quickly. 'Q..' i heard a soft voice say, Luke's to be exact. I wanted to act asleep but there's no way he'd think i'm asleep.

He slowly went to me and turned on the lamp on the opposite side of me. I kept my eyes closed and tried to act asleep.

I heard him sigh a bit. Then I heard him change into different clothes. He then laid down in the bed next to me and turned off the light. 'i don't know if you want to be held.. i don't even know if you can hear me. Uhm' he said softly.

'if you hear me and you are awake and don't want to talk, take two deep breaths if you want me to hold you, or take one deep breath if you don't want me to.' he said as he whispered a bit.

I hesitated a bit and took two deep breaths. I felt him scoot closer to me and wrapped his arms around me slowly but securely. His hand went up to my hair and he softly played with my hair.

I let out a soft sigh and leaned into him a bit. I slowly fell into sleep and last thing i heard was 'i'm so sorry'.

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a/n: ouch.