Unforgotten [Baguio Series #5]

47

47

As I drove away from Cabanatuan, my friends are the very first that came to my mind.

I called Anna but her phone is not open. Her number is unattended. I want to call Deli but she doesn't seem fine. So I resorted to calling Aika even though overseas call is damn expensive.

"Bakla, bakit ka tumawag, ang mahal ng load . . ." she said in her sleepy voice.

Muling nangilid ang mga luha ko. "Ahh . . . a-are you busy?"

Itinabi ko sa gilid ang sasakyan ko para makipag-usap sa kan'ya nang maigi.

"Well, katutulog ko lang actually kasi may tinapos akong project. It's 2 a.m. here in Wellington right now. May problema ba?" she asked.

I sighed. I'm so shameless. Of course, they have their own life to live. Bakit ba iniistorbo ko pa sila?

"W-Wala naman."

"Hmmm . . . sige, usap na lang tayo bukas, sumasakit kasi ulo ko. Sorry bakla. Tawag ako bukas, promise. Labyu!"

I chuckled slightly. "Good night, Aika."

When I ended the call, all I have left is Deli. But I'm still worried about her. What if she's going through serious? Ayaw kong magpaka-OA but she's still not her usual self.

I sighed. But I need my friends too right now. Ngayon lang naman. After this, I'll be the one to be there for them. Just this once, I need them to comfort me.

I gulped as I search Deli's number on my phone. I tried calling her but she wasn't answering. Hindi ko na alam kung nakailang tawag na ako pero wala siyang kahit isang sinagot doon.

Pinatay ko na lang ang cellphone ko at ibinaba sa shotgun seat. New batch of tears fell from my eyes as I feel so alone right now.

Why everything needs to happen when my friends are busy? Bakit ngayon pa nangyari lahat . . . kung kailan may sari-sariling problema rin ang mga kaibigan ko?

Tinakpan ko ang mukha ko at dumukmo sa steering wheel, tsaka umiyak nang umiyak.

Ilang beses na ba akong umiiyak ngayon araw? Bakit ba wala pang nangyayaring maganda simula noong nagpunta ako ng Baguio para harapin si Jeremy?

Am I fucking cursed?

Bakit ba ganito ang nangyayari sa akin?

Nang makalma, nag-drive ulit ako at dumiretso na sa Manila. Gusto ko sanang umuwi sa unit ko but I want to see if Tyrone is in his place.

Baka p'wedeng pag-usapan pa.

Baka nabibigla lang siya.

Tama. Baka . . . baka nabibigla lang siya.

I can't lose him too. Siya lang ang taong nagpatunay sa akin na mali ang pamilya ko--na p'wede pa rin akong mahalin ng buong puso ng isang tao sa kabila ng lahat. And that . . . there's nothing wrong with me. He proved me wrong. All the years that I've lived my life thinking that I don't deserve to be loved wholeheartedly was a lie because he made me feel loved more than what I thought I deserved. He willingly gave it to me even when I was being mean to him.

Baka may pag-asa pa . . .

I'm so stupid for letting go of him.

I will never, ever, find better than him and I don't plan to.

Kung hindi si Tyrone . . . hindi na lang.

Kung hindi siya, 'wag na lang.

I sighed.