August [j.p]

029- You never gave a warning sign

All this time
We always walked a very thin line
You didn't even hear me out
-
exile (feat. Bon Iver)

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Lily Evans cursed James Potter and his existence. She hated him, loathed him, despised them.

He was nothing but an arrogant toerag who wasn't mature enough to see past his own childhood fantasies.

A nice house, in a nice neighborhood, with a convenient girl who would probably stay at home and cater to his every whim.

Who was August Williams? Was she some too good to be true French girl that smiled at him and unknowingly snatched Lily's everything away.

It was so easy to blame this unknown girl and hold her responsible for all of the pain and chaos. It meant that Lily could bear to see James around. If she thought that it wasn't his fault, that he would come to his senses sooner or later. Well, it gave her hope. And god, how desperately she needed hope.

"Let's get this straight." Marlene said through a mouth of chocolate frog, "He got engaged, followed you to the astronomy tower, and then kissed you?"

"Yeah." Lily sighed pathetically, burying her face deeper in her comforter.

Three days had passed since their kiss and three days had passed since they had spoken. After three days of moping and self-pity Marlene and Alice managed to pull the story out of her.

"What a dick move!" Marlene shouted, throwing her pillow on the floor.

"The man is obviously very conflicted. He shouldn't be making any rash decisions, like getting engaged!" Marlene continued her shocked rant.

"Lily you have to smack some sense into him and secure the bag."

"Really?" Lily asked, relieved that someone was rooting for her, voicing the thought that filled her with guilt.

"Absolutely!" Marlene said with certainty.

"No." The room went so silent they could've heard a pin drop. "No she shouldn't." Alice breathed out, looking relieved.

"Alice, Lily and James are soulmates." Marlene said aloofly.

"For all we know James and August could be soulmates."

"Why are you on her side?" Lily asked, hurt.

"Because Lils, this isn't healthy. You're always going back and forth between him and you are exhausted."

"James loves love, and do you really think he would make a decision as monumental as that if he didn't truly adore this girl."

"No." Lily spoke the word and it felt like a curse. Like someone had Crucio'd her.

"Lily I love you, and I don't want you pining after a boy who won't ever be yours." Alice said sincerely, placing her hand on top of her friend's

"Why can't he just be mine." Lily sobbed, hot tears running down her cheeks.

"You had your chance." Alice said softly, pitifully.

"How was I supposed to know he wouldn't come back. I wanted him to come back." Lily hiccuped between painful sobs as her two friends embraced her in a hug.

Marlene was making soft soothing noises while Alice rubbed circles on her back.

"You need to meet her, and you need to find closure. You have to let her be his."

Lily was so tired of letting other people get what they wanted. Just once, she wanted it for herself.

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Life was unexplainably lonely without Lori.

Sure there was sweet Sadie and her chocolate stash and dry jokes that were so bad they became funny. But August's life lacked the excitement and steadfastness of Lori Normandy.

It had been the longest they had ever gone not talking and the dorm that was once her safe haven became a place she didn't even want to step foot in.

Breakfasts were boring without Lori shoving food down her throat.
"I starved myself for three years, I'm still making up for it... that was a joke, you can laugh."

But as August read the newspaper her problems paled in comparison. The Dark Lord and his supporters were on the rise, and it made her insides curl.

James was going to fight and there was no stopping or convincing him otherwise. She had a very important decision to make too.

She wanted to join James on the battlefield, wanted to fight by his side and watch his back. But August was useless with Defense and Attack and her dueling skills were poor.

She knew how to defend herself with fists and teeth. But not magic and incantations.

She knew that she wanted to help, in war every hand was valuable. Perhaps she could join the medical ranks or strategists.

Or she could fight away from the battlefield, spreading awareness and gathering supplies. Her contribution might be small, but it would've been a contribution none the less.

August took a break from reading the dire news and glanced around the room. The ruby on her finger felt heavy today.

James and her would have to get married before the war started. Maybe the holidays?

That would be in three weeks. Three weeks to find a dress, set up a guest list, find a decorator.

Since she had been a little girl she wanted the traditional white wedding. A church and a priest. A veil and a bouquet.

She was by far not innocent, she wouldn't be the innocent bride she pictured herself. Life had picked her up in it's caring arms and without warning dropped her and she shattered.

But she supposed that it didn't matter, with James she was staring a new future and he loved her, flaws and all.

And she supposed, a part if her always knew that it didn't really matter whether the wedding white really represented innocence. No one was innocent. In one way or another everyone had lost theirs a long time ago.

Were they being too rash?

Would their marriage last the war, would it last her secrets and the box of tragedy she kept neatly tied up with a ribbon.

August was always running from her past and she figured that it was due time it caught up with her. And when it did she'd have to tell James and it would be horrible and awful and every bad word she knew.

He wouldn't recognize the girl standing in front of him.

Could they survive that?

She didn't think so.