August [j.p]

034- Tell me what are my words worth

NOTE!
we're heading into a part of this story that is quite dark. Writing has always been my way of working through trauma and after being inspired by other amazing individuals I have decided to share what I write.
You are loved. You are treasured. You are important.
If you are triggered by mentions of rape and sexual abuse please proceed with caution, read it with someone or come back when you feel ready.
My door is always open, even though it's not an actual door.

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What should be over burrowed under my skin
In heart-stopping waves of hurt
I've come too far to watch some namedropping sleaze
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the lakes (bonus track)

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The Potter backyard was a sight too behold.

The crowd was small and James was increasingly grateful for it as his heart started flipping around.

"What are you so worried about, you know she'll say yes." Peter tried to reassure.

"And if she doesn't there's always cats." Remus playfully teased but stopped at the look of absolute menace James shot him.

"Just trying to diffuse the tension." He breathed out looking at Peter who simply shrugged.

In the audience sat Euphemia and Fleamont, Lily, Alice and Marlene. Frank joined them for the day and so did Gideon and Fabian Prewett who sat on either side of Molly Weasley. And slightly towards the back sat Remus's parents and Peter's mom.

James, Peter and Remus stood underneath an arch with small bluebells and golden stems intertwining into a picturesque sight.

The love of a marriage is simple and pure, it is as the air and water needed daily rather than the firework. That's what James and August wanted to show in their simple wedding, that by being so steady with one another they could remain together all of their days.

The music started too play and for a brief moment James and Lily caught each other's eyes. The unknown passed between them, of what could've been had Lily the courage and James the reliability.

With her arm looped in Sirius's August made her way down the aisle of petals strewn with care and precision by Alice on the grass.

Never had James had his breath completely knocked out of him before. With her golden hair loosely falling over her shoulders and the silk hugging her hips James couldn't form a single thought.

He must've looked like an idiot, with his mouth hanging open and his eyes staring without blinking.

When she finally reached him he didn't even process taking her hand in his.

"Do I look okay?" She asked, her teeth tugging at her bottom lip.

"I have looked at you in a million ways, and I have loved you in each." He finally whispered in response.

"Look after her yeah, mate," Sirius clapped him on the back and breaking tradition as per usual Lori took it upon herself to make an announcement too.

"If you treasure your genitalia you better treasure her."

After the blushing and nervous laughter filtered out and Peter finally agreed to stand next to Lori, albeit reluctantly and shakily (clearly fearing for his own genitals), the Ministry officiator started too speak.

"Today, we have come together to celebrate the love between two remarkable wizards."

"James and August, in the dark times upon us it is a joy and a reminder, that we can still celebrate and love and laugh even when there is a darkness settling in. It is important that you hold onto this, and hold onto each other."

"In all marriages there are ups and downs, my own wife liked too call it a rollercoaster. Apparently that is something muggles like to ride. As you make this commitment too one another, you are promising to ride the ups and the downs together. To support when one is weary, to hold when one is weak."

"You promise to love and to be honest, an eternal commitment too the person who knows your soul and your heart."

"August Williams, do you take James Potter too be your lawfully wedded husband."

Not even a second of pause before the girl replied with a certain and immediate "I do."

August knew that she loved James, with all of her heart and that she was so beyond lucky too have found the person she wanted too spend the rest of her life with.

She didn't care that he was messy and arrogant and made the worst jokes. She didn't care that he talked even when they said goodnight or that he woke up way too early in the morning.

He was a good man and he would be good too her. She would have a house full of love. Where Sunday's were spent on the couch eating junk instead of fighting over the kitchen table. Mondays were filled with busy chatter as they got ready for work instead of beatings in the hallway because the hot water was used up. Wednesdays would be Pancake night instead of hiding upstairs anticipating the bedroom door too open.

"James Potter, do you take August Williams to be your lawfully wedded wife."

James stared at the woman in front of him, she was a sight for sore eyes.

But did she deserve this? A marriage built on lies and deceit.

This was a chance, a chance too give her the world.

But oh, when he looked into her honey brown eyes he wanted too crumble. To say yes and kiss her shamelessly.

He saw forever in those brown eyes. Two kids and a two-story house. A garden of herbs and a king sized bed. It looked so pretty, it looked so nice.

The story of a man and a woman, who loved unconditionally.

The only problem was that he wasn't a man, he was just a boy.

"I-"

"I object" Lily stood up and shouted.
"Augustine Williams!" A booming voice interrupted.

James saw her face go from elated to absolute horror in a matter of seconds as her head turned in the direction of the voice.

In the middle of the aisle, stood a broad shouldered man with close cut hair and pale blue eyes.

"How dare you get married without my permission?"

Augustine.

Memories of an old wooden desk and the feeling of nausea and devastation.

The feeling of wood underneath her fingertips and the imprint of her salty tears leaking onto the page and smudging the ink.

"You're so pretty when you cry."

She wanted too stop crying, maybe then he would stop.

She couldn't stop, couldn't stop the salty liquid and the sobs racking through her small body.

The blood in the bathtub and the bruises on her hips. The scars of crescent moons on her palms.

"Maximilian." August uttered shocked.

Her mother stared defiantly at her as she held the hand of a monster.