August [j.p]

024- Out of all the wrong arms

Something wrapped all of my past mistakes in barbed wire
Chains around my demons, wool to brave the seasons
One single thread of gold tied me to you
-
invisible string

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"I am in such deep, unending shit." James Potter banged his head on the library table as Lily was trying to explain some last minute Potions too him.

"James, calm down, we'll get through the Forgetfulness Draught before curfew and then you only need to revise Dreamless sleep tomorrow morning."

"It's not that Lils." James sighed, resting his head on his hands.

Everything felt heavy.

"Then what is it?" The girl frowned at the distraught look on his face.

"I forgot her birthday."

"Who's birthday- Oh." Lily trailed off as she realized who the she was. "How did that happen? " She asked nonchalantly, thumbing through her Potions notes.

As much as Lily hated to admit it, she felt a twinge if hope and the slightest bit of smugness at his words.

If he really cared for her, if he was as in love as he claimed, why did he forget it so easily?

"We had the meeting with Dumbledore and afterwards we were so caught up in excitement and we were trying to make up out minds, I just, I completely forgot and I only realized this morning when I wrote the date in Transfiguration." James sighed and combed his hands through his already messy hair. "Lily, I don't know what to do. I've screwed her over so many times already and I think I'm running out of chances."

The crack in his voice made him seem so vulnerable. Lily realized with startling clarity, that as much as James seemed so confident and assured in his life, they would win the war, he would live a happy life, everything was going to be okay, he was just a 17-year old boy, scared that he'll lose the girl.

Perhaps, James Potter wasn't this invincible, unbreakable boy she had painted out in her head. He was scared just like the rest of them. And in a world where his future painted war and pain, James just wanted one good thing. August.

She could tell him that he should forget August, that it was bound to end sooner or later. That this was a sign to forget the girl and realize that she was right there in front of him. Waiting for him.

"Tell her." Lily whispered sadly as she started to pack up her books and threw her quills haphazardly into her bag.

"What?" James asked confused at her words and her sudden exit.

"Tell her about the Order, about why you forgot. Just be honest with her James."

"But we're not allowed to tell anyone Lily."

"If you trust her, and you love her. Then she deserves to know."

Lily got up and swung her bag over her shoulder. She quickened her pace as she felt the first tear fall onto her cheek.

She barely made it into the portrait and into her side of the Heads dorm before she broke down crying.

She couldn't blame James, and she certainly couldn't blame August. This was all on her. If she admitted to herself earlier that James Potter didn't infuriate, or annoy her but in fact turned her into a giggling, simpering mess it would've been her on the receiving end of James's love.

Granted, James did wrong when he targeted Severus that one afternoon that changed the fate of not just her future but another girl all the way in France. But she should've acknowledged his regret and remorse instead of keeping him in the dark.