Peace of the Heart (Cacher Series #1)

Kabanata 25

Kabanata 25

Paths

I closed my eyes.

My heart couldn't take what I was seeing. Their wedding picture being displayed not because of happiness... but because of sorrow, sadness, and misery. Now, they are here. Laying in front of many people closing their eyes, not wanting to come back. My parents will never come back. Even though I cried all of within me, I can never take them back. And now... I am slowly accepting the fact that... my parents had died because of me. If I didn't tell her a thing, she'd still be here, they'd be still here. I keep on blaming myself, if only I did not seek for justice and help... If only I did not open my mouth... If I only knew that dying alone is better than speaking up... I would have have them alive.

It's all my fault.

I did not bother to socialize with people, not even with my cousins and familiar faces. I kept quiet, standing, and listening to the priest ceremony as tears rolled down to my face. People tried to have a conversation with me but I wasn't really that responsive. I am so afraid knowing that many people are attending my parents' burial. I might see faces that I don't want to see. I keep on praying that... not here.

"Martiza..." The King Penreo called. "Are you okay?"

I nodded. I was about to turn my head in front... but my eyes caught somone's eyes. He's been looking at me with his worried, hopeful, and respectful eyes. I never gave him the talk. I did not go to his place. I've been avoiding him. Seeing him now... makes my heart beats crazily... that it became painful inside of me. I chose to looked away.

The Majesty Security Group scattered in the area. I don't know if I should feel at ease. I want to focus on my last moment with my parents, I want to remember everything. The priest respectfully bowed on the King before he withdrew himself. The king stood up with full of authority. MSG man handed him his microphone.

"Rochelle..." He touched Mommy's face on the displayed picture. "Hindi ko alam na ayon na pala ang huli nating pagkikita..."

Pumatak ang aking mga luha. Nahihirapan na akong punasan sila, inabutan ako ni Kuya Wancho ng panyo na agad kong ipinamunas sa aking mga mata. Inayos ko ang aking bagsak na black dress, inayos ko rin ang aking bishop sleeves dahil sa init na nararamdaman. Hindi ako makahinga nang maayos.

"Ang pagkamatay niya ay hindi inaasahan..."

Nakaramdam ako ng sakit sa aking dibdib.

Ako dapat ang nandoon.

"I'll never stop looking for the real reason of this..." Pinunasan niya ang kan'yang mga luha. "You are my brother's only gift for me. Tito will fight, alright?"

I tried to cover my mouth to stifle my cries. He kept on murmuring things to Mommy's coffin, treating her like she's still alive. After his speech, he hugged the coffin and wiped off his tears. Kuya Wancho stood up and went in front, he sighed heavily, his eyes were bloodshot. He didn't use the microphone, he kept on crying while saying his sorry's. I couldn't understand what he was saying because of his sobs.

"Martiza, tubig?"

Napatingin ako kay Ana. May hawak siyang tubig, kinuha ko ito sa kan'ya at tumango. Umalis din siya kaagad para bigyan ako ng katahimikan. Binalik ko ang tingin sa harap. Nakabalik na si Kuya Wancho, nasa harap na si Kuya Darrel na sobrang lakas ng iyak. Muntik pang bumagsak ang mga kabaong dahil sa histerya niya. Pinigilan din siya at pinakalma. Nang kumalma naman ay binulong niya lang ang kan'yang mensahe at mapayapang bumalik.

Nanginginig akong nilapitan si Daddy... hindi ako masyadong lumapit dahil hindi ko kaya na makita... pero nasilayan ko ang kan'yang mukha... para lang siyang mahimbing na natutulog. Hindi pa rin ako makapaniwala kahit nakikita ko na. Hindi pa rin maalis sa aking isipan na... baka babalik pa naman sila. Nangako sila sa akin. Sa pagkakakilala ko sa mga magulang ko... marunong silang tumupad ng pangako. Babalik pa sila.