Peace of the Heart (Cacher Series #1)

Kabanata 31

Kabanata 31

Chance

I was diagnosed with PTSD and MDD. Post Traumatic Stress Disorder and Major Depressive Disorder. I often get PTSD nightmares that it affects my whole being it resulted to me developing eating disorder. I haven't recovered yet, I underwent different therapy sessions to help me with my situation. I underwent speech therapy and I am needed to have a surgery for my ear if years pass and there's no drastic change. Doctors were speculating that the drugs worsen my hearing ability. It would take a huge amount of money clarifying the things that really affected my body. For the mean time, I am using hearing aid so that I can hear little by little.

I barely respond to everything. Authority has visited me to get some information on the my case issue, but I couldn't give any statement because of my contemporary state. I was so devastated that I couldn't voice out my raging heart. But God has a plan, after praying and praying all over again... the justice for me was finally served.

I was happy that I cried myself out. I was happy that... I finally got the justice to side on me... for once.

And now Kuya Wancho is filling my plate small amount of foods. I still need to eat. He was very patient with me, with my condition, I felt loved by his presence and doings. He has noticed that I am staring at him, he placed the plate on my table. He stretched his arm to fix my hearing aids.

"Are you feeling well?" He asked as he sat on the chair. "Can you hear me?"

I nodded.

"I am happy for you. You deserved it, Martiza."

I smiled wearily thinking about the past. It is only for once. I need three of it. Although I am very happy with the decision, I just can't help to think about the past situation. I still need to fight. I have made up my mind. If I couldn't have any satisfaction and fullfilness on everyone, I'll try to find it in justice. I'd be very satisfied and filled with it. I can't die, I shouldn't die. I'll avange on anyone after fighting with my silent battles. I'll face them. I'll make them pay.

Stretching his elbow above, positioning the spoon filled with foods in my mouth, I accepted it by welcoming the spoon. After that one spoon, I heard him clapping, saying that I am now improving. He continued feeding me, he stopped when he noticed that it's too much for my condition. He helped me sipped on my water, holding the glass, one hand on my chin catching the spilling water. After that, he wiped the remaining water on my chin.

He placed the blanket beneath me. He informed me that he's just going to call someone. I pretended that I don't care. I pretended that I was already in a deep slumber. He exited my room, it didn't even take him a minute to check on me again. I've heard what he's been busying himself about.

"No, Tita. After this I'll pay you. I'll start to work again, or I'll work in the Philippines again," I've heard him answering someone over the phone.

I frowned.

Iiwan niya ako? Babalik ulit siya ng Pilipinas? May utang siya?

"We... need a large amount of money for her surgery if ever ayon ang desisyon. I already spent my whole savings on her therapy sessions. She's now developing on her traumas little by little. I don't want to stop her progress. I really want her to heal."

Pinagpatuloy ko ang aking pakikinig. Hindi ko alam kung ilang tao ang nakausap niya. Paulit-ulit siya sa kan'yang pakiusap. Ang dami niyang nilapitan para makahiram ng pera. Kung lalayo pa siya, maari kaming magipit. Kung babalik siya ng Pilipinas, maaring mangyari ulit. Hindi na siya babalik do'n. Hindi ko na gugustuhin pang bumalik siya ro'n.

Nakita ko ang pagkunot ng kan'yang noo habang nakatitig sa akin. Kakagising niya lang at ito agad ang bungad ko, nagiimpake ako ng aking mga gamit dahil gusto ko nang umuwi. Gusto ko na lang magpahinga at magkaroon ng mapayapang utak. Hinawakan niya ang aking kamay habang nagtatakang nakatingin sa akin. Agad ko itong binawi at nagmadaling tinanggal ang oxygen na nakaharang sa akin.