𝚃𝚑𝚎 𝚙𝚒𝚊𝚗𝚒𝚜𝚝| 𝙹𝚎𝚘𝚗𝚐𝚌𝚑𝚊𝚗

..[26]..

It had been three days since jeongin and Chan had watched porn together.

They hadn't talked about it not did the younger want to. He was embarrassed about the fact that he really had watched it and someone knew about it.

As those few days passed by, he began feeling horrible. Chan hadn't left the whole time, spending every single night with jeongin in his bed. The times he spent in the olders arms were amazing and those were the only times he really didn't feel guilty about it. It had been eating him alive.

The only reason he didn't feel guilty in that moment was because he was in Chans arms, being held in that certain warmth he always seemed to crave.

Though he was asleep, the older still held him just as tightly against him as if he were awake. The living room around jeongin was quiet except for the television that played some drama at the lowest volume possible without being too loud. The flickering lights of the tv gave jeongin a sort of nostalgia remembering back to when him and his parents used to watch shows together and laugh.

He realized that his life had changed so much in the past few weeks with Chan. He'd learned so much about himself and about experiences with people.

In a way it made him sad.

He missed the way he used to live in shelter. Missed the way he didn't have to worry about things but now that Chan came around he found himself worrying a lot these days.

Jeongin looked up at the older who was asleep on the couch beside him. His eyes moved under his eyelids as if he were dreaming and his lips were slightly parted as he breathed through them.

The room around him was stuffy from not turning on the fan before they fell asleep. The four blankets on top of them didn't help either.

Not being able to stand it any longer, jeongin stood after stealing one of the blankets off of chan. After carefully tucking him in again he stood and went to the back door. Slowly he walked out into the cool night and breathed in a deep breath.

He sat down on the stairs of the porch and looked up at the sky. There were a few clouds covering them but not enough to where he couldn't see them at all.

He sighed, getting lost in his thoughts, wondering where he'd be now if he never met Chan. His thoughts were contradicting, telling him that the other was a good thing, sent from heaven to help him but another part saying that it was a test from the devil. He was testing his faith, seeing if he in fact did believe. It made him realize the last time he prayed being sometime ago, maybe a few days. So he lowered his head and prayed, closing his eyes his hands linked together as he placed his head between his elbows.

He asked for a sign. Some sort of something to help him decide whether Chan was actually good for him. Jeongin prayed for his parents, hoping they weren't mad at him still. Slowly, he got emotional as he prayed, realizing how much he missed this, how much he missed god.

Faith is a scary thing. Believing in something that you can't see, feel or hear is terrifying to an outsider. Being born into it an d growing up around it or even just accepting the Lord into your life you begin to realize that you can see, feel and hear the Lord in everything you do. He's around you everywhere and in some rare occasions, he'll touch your heart and make you feel things. Jeongin felt this now, being touched by god as if he was reaching out to say you used to be here all the time, why are you not praying anymore?

It was heartbreaking but jeongin held his tears.

What seemed like only moments later but in reality was about twenty minutes the door opened behind the boy.