Violet [Under Editing]

Chapter 22

Avery's POV

3:11am.

I woke up because of a terrible headache. Last night, after the time I spent with Ian, I was fine, infact, I was great..I'd never felt that happy in a while, but right now..

I feel horrible.

I lazily slipped my feet into my night slippers, picked up my red and black checked robe on the foot of the bed and put it on.

I left the room and made my way downstairs in my pjs-a white sleeveless night top, black light pants and the checked robe-with my hair in twin braids.

I entered the kitchen and took a carton of milk from the fridge, grabbed a glass, butter knife, Nutella and a loaf of sliced bread, then sat on one of the island stools.

I couldn't help but think about last night as I spread the Nutella on a slice of bread.

It all feels...weird, actually.

When I met him at first, I never knew he'd be this important to me.

If he had always cared, well, he displayed a ton of it last night. Believe me, I know I'm not the hardest person to hate and that I'm not the easiest person to love either, but he stayed. He freaking did.

Regardless of how many times I locked him out.

Which is a great portion of the reasons I feel horrible about myself.

All this while, I kept on telling myself that I didn't need him when I badly did.

Then again, I can't trust myself.

I really like Ian, and I accept him but I don't know if I'm even making the right decision by letting him in on my past.

Two of the reasons I don't let people in are thus:
1) I don't want to bother you with my problems.
2)Hey...who says you can't run away from someone whose dad ran away from, and who has got a pending recovery case of amnesia...so look at it from this angle,

I'm saving you the stress.

You're such a mess. My subconscious retorted.

Tell me about it.

"Huh, I guess I'm not the only one who can't sleep for a very disturbing reason, perhaps. Your dad won't stop snoring."

I snapped my head up and met Mrs. Harris-mum, walking over to me from the stairs.

I was so lost, I didn't even realize someone was standing there.

"Uh...how long have you been standing there?" I asked.

"Long enough to know that everything's not okay with you". She said, taking a glass from the kitchen and sitting on a stool beside me.

"Talk to me." She poured milk into her own glass and propped her elbows on the table.

I hesitated for a while before speaking.

"It's about my friend actually. She's got a crush on this...guy who also likes her." I said rubbing my chin nervously.

I didn't want to tell her this was about Ian and I. I mean, she loves Ian and anything I said about no knowing if I made the right decision about him could break her heart.

"Uh...and they confessed their feelings for each other yesterday and she told him about her painful past which she had never told anyone. Ever." I said, looking her straight in the eyes to make sure she was buying everything I was saying.

"Uh-huh." She nodded slowly.

"Yeah. And now she doesn't trust herself or her decisions because she feels she might have made a mistake by letting him in. Although he stuck by her everytime she tried to lock him out." Towards the end, my voice came out slowly and almost in a whisper as I was now trying to reason the situation which was of course mine