That Winter You Came (Completed)

Episode 9

We were in spring in 2008.
In april's spring .. And yet it rained in Algeria.
When i was walking in the wet streets under my umbrella i met Rayan again.
The little man who looked more handsome than anyone..And who looked the saddest .
And again, i had to stop walking .. And just stare at him standing in the rain, hoping that my heart would stop beating so fast for him. And let go the hand that never even reached to get me.
He was leaning at some fence in the neighborhood .. Barely covering him self from the rain, his hair covering half his face and the headphones leaking crazy music again.the edges of his white blouse were wet and his bag thrown on the street.
You wouldn't expect the guy who throws his school bag to be the top student, but he was..
And that maybe was the reason i loved him, the fact that he gets everything so effortlessly.
I don't know how exactly i gathered my strength that day .. Somehow before i even realise what i was doing i found my self walking towards him and stopping right before him.
He looked at me surprised for a second.
And then he took off one of the headphones and asked:
_" you want something?"
Only then i realised i was standing in front of him.
_"idha .." ( if) i started to say .. And the rest of the words were washed with the drops of rain.
_" if what?" he asked impatiently.
Not giving me one more second, he put back his headphones.
And that's when i gathered my courage to say:
_" if you want, my umbrella .. If you want" i said.
I barely finished talking when he saddenly stood up. Stepped closer to me and asked:
_" you want to shield me under your umbrella?"
The tone in which he asked me was furious and impatient.
So i was hesitant to say yes. I just shook my head as i started to retreat when suddenly he Took my umbrella from my hand and joined me under it.
_" let's go" he said .. And started walking beside me.
Under that pink umbrella.
We both were silent.
I still wonder..
If his heart was beating like mine did that day.. So fast and so strong.
Or if he thanked god for the rain just one of a million as i did.
Although our shoulders kept touching when we made turns, when cars drove by.. And when the street was crowded. Yet he didn't step aside.. Nor left me until we reached our class,
all the students in school looked at us with their eyes popping out.. But He didn't care and didn't leave.
I always wondered if he liked me for so little at that day, because so many girls offered things for him all his life.. And he turned them down.
But i never dare to ask.
When we finally reached the classroom, he went directly to sit on his seat not even saying a word of thanks. But that didn't stop me from staring at him all morning. Nor praying for more rainy days.
I loved him so much.
In the middle of French class the teacher suddenly asked me something. I barely understood few words in French, and the words i could speak were even fewer .. So i just kept staring at the teacher embarrassed while she kept scolding me.
That's when Rayan suddenly stood up and answered the question she asked me high and clear.
Everyone was so surprised.. And i was surprised the most.
Somehow the way he treated me was a bit different since that day he said i deserved to live.
He always walked behind me when i was in the street.
And i would meet him every morning leaning at some fence waiting for someone i didn't know.
When we had gym class, and the boy holding the whistle was making fun of me .. Rayan suddenly came towards us, took the whistle away from the boy and took his position.
I thought he somehow fell in love with me!
Or else why would someone who cared about nothing pay so much care for me!
But you see, when you love someone you start to pay so much attention to him, you start explaining everything he does as signs of love.. And you need something like a slap on the face to wake up.
And i had that.
At the end of April i was so convinced that Rayan was in love with me that i decided to confess to him.
I don't really remember how i ended up making such a stupid decision, but i did it anyways!
I chose April 28th as the D day.
I put on my not so beautiful pink scarf .. My large blouse that didn't unveil any of my not-so-tempting figure.
I believed that Rayan loved me for who i was and that once i confess my great love for him he would admit his platonic love for me and we'll have a happy ending!
So at the end of the last class, i knew Rayan would stay behind to give "Layla Dasser" extra lessons.
She was the second girl in rank in our class, the only thing that kept her from surpassing Rayan was Math. So he was helping her beating him.
I waited for an hour in the class just beside ours.
I tried to make my self busy doing something ... But i was so nervous to think about anything else.
When it was  4:30 pm finally .. I decided to go confess.
My plan was to go inside the class .. Ask him for few minutes to talk .. And then confess.
But what happened was.. When i opened the closed door. My heart broke to million peaces.
Because i found Rayan and Layla kissing.
Her hand was caressing his dark japanese styled hair.
His hands were exploring things even worst than that.
I stood frozen staring at them both, when they stopped kissing and looked at me frightened.
_" don't you know how to knock!" shouted Rayan.
Giving me a deadly look.
I didn't even wait for one more second before i took off running away.
He followed me running too.
I barely reached the middle of the school yard when Rayan grabbed my shoulder and made me turn to look at him.
And i felt so disgusted with his touch that i wanted to throw up.
_" are you going to report us?" He asked so shamelessly.
How can someone ran at someone's heart over and over like this?
_" no" i hushed.
Barely holding my tears.
He sighed .. Pushed his hair off of his forehead and hushed:
_" i'll take your word for that then"
For some reason .. I wanted to laugh. Telling my self " this is how pain looks like"
Because When i rushed towards the class to confess i thought rejection was the far worst i could get.
But to see your beloved kissing someone .. And then asking you to protect that one. That was like cutting through wounds and putting salt.
My tears started to fall although i tried hard not to cry for such a murderer.. So i stubbornly wiped them and stood strong.
Layla soon joined us. Her face was pale and hands were trembling. I wanted to say:
" you didn't fear god when you commited such a sin but you're afraid of me until turning like a ghost, your priorities are wronged"
But i didn't have the courage nor strength to say so.
I just walked away while both of them kept calling my name from behind.
An hour ago all i wanted was to hear my name coming from his lips.
And now when he called:
_"Nadia"
I wished i never had a name.
It hurt that much.
I ran out of the whole school leaving my broken heart with them.
I was so stupid .. So so stupid.
And when i reached my house .. I kept crying for the whole night.
You think you'd forget such horrible memories with a month or two .. With a year or two.
But the fact is .. You'll never forget.
You can't stop your heart from hurting you just a little every time you remember.
But the pain is sure a thousand times more at the beginning.
The next morning, Rayan and Layla came to school holding hands.
The funny thing is .. The students didn't give them shocked looks like they gave me before although i was just holding an umbrella while Layla held his hand.
Instead they looked at them with admiration.
"Mr and mrs genius" .. " the futur doctors"
People were already naming their children while my heart was burning to aches inside my chest.
It hurts to love .. It hurts this much.
I was laying on my desk in the school break when someone suddenly gave me a hug.
_" i'm sorry" Yassmine's voice hushed in my ears.
She made me sit properly to look at her and asked:
_" are you ok?"
_" what do you mean? .. I'm fine!" I laughed.
She looked at me for sometime .. With those dark eyes of hers.
With warmth and compassion.
_" it's ok .. You don't have to act tough in front of me. I know you love Rayan .. And i'm sorry about what happened"
_" i don't love him!" I lied.
She ignored what i said.. And gave me another tight hug. And hushed:
_" even when Rayan and I were together, i would always notice how you looked at him and realise that i could never give him that look. When he mentioned you i'd want to give him a punch on the face and ask him to see through the blur, And when i left him i wished for nothing but that you get him. So don't you dare wrong me"
I was shocked.
Shock is an understatement.
Was my love for him so obvious that even Yassmine who wasn't even in my class noticed?
More than that.. I was shocked that these words came from her mouth.
I knew Yassmine was kind. But i didn't think she was such a good person.
Wishing happiness for others.. And seeing through people.
And to such a person .. I couldn't but hug her back tight and admit tearfully:

_" i don't want to love him anymore. It hurts so much"
_" i know, he doesn't deserve your love" she hushed while caressing my scarf.
And she was right.
I sure spent few days in a broken state after that .. Especially when i found out that the person Rayan waited for every morning was in fact Layla.
That all the good deeds he did for me were to impress Layla.
And that i meant nothing for him..
It hurts to see them walking beside each other in the street. And it hurts to see him smiling with her.
But i could do nothing about that.
I could only suppress my flood of emotions and act as if there wasn't anything. well, that was all i did until that morning in mid May when i met Rayan again when i was walking to school.
He was leaning on the fence again .. Listening to music. Probably waiting for his girlfriend to come.
I decided not to get affected by his presence, and thus .. I'll walk until i no longer smell his scent, walk until i know that if i turned around i wouldn't have a glimpse of the sunshine reflected on him. Just walk like if my life was depending on it!
And my plan was going smoothly until i suddenly heard him saying:
_" no rain today"
He sure was talking about that day when we shared the umbrella.
For a moment i thought of passing that comment as if it wasn't meant for me. But i just couldn't!
How could he bring such a cherished and happy memory of mine in such an indifferent way!
How could he talk about the day that was only ours when he's waiting for another girl!
I can't blame him for not loving me back. But he has no right to destroy the best memory i had of him!
So i turned to look at him angrily and said:
_" i wish for the rain to never fall here again"
After saying that . i immediately regretted such a childish statement. Anyways, the damage was already done.
Rayan gave me a look that said " wow, i didn't know you could talk" and then a look that said "did you really just said that?"
He took a deep breathe and then said:
_"the Sahara is already covering most of the country.. If the rain didn't drop again we'll have to eat oil and drink oil. This is such a selfish wish of yours"
Once he finished talking .. I took long moments to convince my self that those words actually came out of his mouth.
Life is such a twisted maze.
When i wished he'd only know i existed .. He treated me as an extra on earth.
When i wished he'd look at me.. He settled his eyes on other girls. 
And now when i wanted to ignore him.. He's trying to be chatty and funny with me.
And now every time i'll hear Sahara and oil in one sentence my heart would hurt me.
From my peripheral sight, i caught Layla coming our way ..
She was shorter than me , curvier and her ponytail danced when she walked.
I wanted to go before she reached us .. But i haven't even stepped one step when Rayan suddenly asked:
_" but can i ask? .. Why do you hate the rain this way?"
I looked at him.. I looked at her.
I took a deep breathe and replied:
_" because it reminds me of you"
_" good morning" Layla said once she reached us.
But none of us replied.
Rayan was looking at me dumbfounded for a long time. And i had no intention to fake affinity towards her.
Since i had nothing to do there anymore. I walked away leaving them behind.
That was the first day i put my brain before my heart.
And that actually was the real start of our story.