That Winter You Came (Completed)

Episode 18

I didn't know what Rayan and i had.
I was confused.
Every morning he waited for me. But when i came he would start walking ahead of me not even saying "good morning" . except for the rainy days of course.. Because he would take my umbrella out of my hand and shield us both under it.
And don't ask me why he didn't have an umbrella because i don't know and i never asked.
After few days of getting wet i decided to bring the black big umbrella instead of my beautiful little pink one. And with that being done i fixed the problem of getting wet everytime.
As for lunch, i made meatballs for three everyday.
Because of course i had to do some for Mimi too.
And Rayan came to my desk everyday .. Took the seat beside me and ate them without a word and without an expression.
I prepared meat balls with a red sauce. Meat balls with white sauce. Meat ball with fried potatoes.
Until i started to get nauseated from the sight of meat!
So that day at lunch i decidedly looked at him and shouted:
_" look at you eating meatballs shamelessly without saying a word! Do you know how much meat costs? Do you know how much i'm feeling disgusted when preparing it?!"
He looked at me surprised for a moment .. And then he said:
_" then don't cook meat balls, and i'll buy you ingredients to prepare lunch for tomorrow"
_" don't bring me ingredients.. Bring me money. Every meal costs 100 Da . this lady here won't give you lunch for free anymore!"
Believe it or not.. Starting from that day .. He really paid the 100 Da for fried potatoes!
I was confused with his character . i really was..
I didn't know why he started to show intimacy to me all at sudden .. But not to the point i can tell it's a progress .
i didn't know whether my plan was going somewhere.
And when i discussed this with yassmine she joyfully said:
_" if you want to test the car's breaks then you put a rock in the way. If you want to test a boy's love .. Then you put competition in the way!"
Her plan was that we'll invent some boy and i will pretend that i'm meeting.
In the morning i'll wait for Rayan patiently but when he comes i'll leave right away and say: "i'm sorry .. But i need to meet someone"
In lunch break i won't make lunch for him and after lunch break i'll shamelessly say: " sorry, i promised to eat with someone" 
I was going to do that for three days. Because the expert called Yassmine said:
_" the limit of patience of boys won't accede two days. If he's jealous then he'll show it in two days. If he's not jealous than he'll never be jealous"
And so i executed her plan perfectly.
I put on a new winter coat in the first day. I applied makeup and once i met him in the morning i ran away like if a dog was chasing after me.
And in lunch i ate to my heart's content with yassmine and then i came back to class especially earlier than everyone else. Once Rayan's eyes fell on me he looked like a boiling volcano and yelled:
_" i'm starving .. Where were you!"
I gave him a cold look and said:
_" you were starving then why didn't you just go eat in the canteen? I never told you to take my cooking for granted, plus i was asked to lunch with someone, he's really important to me and i couldn't refuse"
After i finished saying that .. I wanted to applaud for my self. I was so satisfied with me.
I expected him to say at least one word or show any reaction. Yet the boy standing in front of me was colder than ice and harder than stone.
He just ignored me .. Laid his head on the table and fell to sleep.
That frustrated me until a numbing point.
I felt frustrated the whole evening .. I felt frustrated even in my dreams.
And when i woke up the next morning i was so frustrated that i took a whole hour to prepare my self. And when i finished i had to run with my brother to school because i was 15 mins late and i needed him to get me a pass.
I was frustrated in lunch too to the point i pushed my plate towards Yassmine and said:
_" eat my plate too .. I have no appetite"
She gave me a sad look and said:
_" i knew that jerk had a stone heart. Just keep preparing lunch for him and we'll repeat this plan again in two months"
_" what plan?" A male voice suddenly asked.
Yassmine and i looked like our souls were sucked out of us.
I hardly turned my head to see who that was.
I was surprised to find Salim.
We hasn't spoken to me for months. But there he was standing beside our table all at sudden.
I tried to get hold of my emotions and said:
_" our plan is not of your business"
_" can i talk to you ?.. If you don't mind"
I just stood up and walked behind him as he leaded us out of the cafeteria.
We stood next to the door.
I looked at him coldly and said:
_" talk fast .. It's cold in here"
My cold attitude seemed to weaken his spirit. He looked at me dejected and said:
_" i talked to Rayan last week and he said you're only friends bla bla.."
I didn't hear the rest of his words.
I was sad beyond i expected with Rayan's opinion of me.
What part about us looked like friends!
He and i can only be enemies or lovers! All or nothing!
If he said that there wasn't anything between us i wouldn't be so sad about it. But not a friend!
I knew nothing about men but i knew that it's much harder to transit from being a "friend" to a lover than transiting from nothing to a lover.
How could he put me in such a critical spot so carelessly!
_" so what do you think?" Salim suddenly asked snatching me out of my roaming.
I looked at him confused and asked:
_" think about what?"
_" about us together again. I couldn't stop loving you in these passing months and i know i was reckless that time. I believe that you will love me ultimately"
I laughed in mockery and said:
_" when you had me you let me go. When i cried so much for you .. You were so cold and chose not to come again. And now that i moved on from you you come claiming me back? You're too late.. I'm sorry but i don't want to be hurt again"
_" i promise i won't leave you again.. I promise" he begged.
He gave me that warm look again with those sky eyes.
But however i looked at them .. They were different from before.
Maybe because i only saw them in summer .. And we were in winter then.
Because they didn't look so warm like they used to.
_" but i don't trust you anymore" i hardly said.
Even if i didn't love him .. He was still my first boyfriend who i spent months with.
He didn't want to force him self on me any longer.. He always was a good boy.
He nodded and said:
_" i understand"
And then he left.
I had no appetite to eat so i just went back to class.
When i walked in .. The class was empty.
Apparently Rayan lost faith in me and went to eat lunch.
I sighed.. Took my pen.
Went to Rayan's desk .. And then i went to Salim's desk.
And at the both of them i wrote
"Idiot".
The second day went even more frustrating than the day before.
The next morning i was so frustrated that i just put my scarf randomly and went to school very early.
I was leaning on my desk dejected when my sister suddenly barged inside our class .. She came to my seat and ordered:
_" come with me right away"
I looked at her surprised.
Did something happen to my family?
I already started to panic when she said:
_" i always knew that you are cold and heartless .. But how can you be cruel this much?"
I looked at her confused and said:
_" i don't understand"
_" i met Rayan on my way .ok? He looked so mad and he said he's going to wait for you until you come even if he waited for the whole day. He never spoke to me.. How much..."
I didn't even listen to the rest of her words.
Because i ran back to class.. I brought my umbrella and went out of the school all together.
On my way i heard the school bell.. So it meant i was going to be so late when i go back.
It was raining heavily that day .. It rained heavily in 2009. And it was so cold.
I walked in small pace afraid i'll get too wet. A part of me not believing that i would still find Rayan waiting.. I mean, who would wait in such weather?
When i finally turned around some corner .. I gasped in fright.
Rayan wasn't even hiding under some ceiling .. He was walking right under the rain!
His hair was wet .. His clothes were wet and stuck on his body.
He looked so sad and lonely under the rain.
Just like the boy i met a year ago.
Only this time he wasn't holding pebbles and throwing them at his house. Instead he was holding his school bag.
I was so frightened that i ran towards him and covered him right away with my umbrella.
_" are you crazy!" I shouted right away as i pushed him from the middle of the street to stand under some ceiling.
_" when Mimi said you were waiting she didn't say you were standing under the rain. Are you crazy!.. Do you have a death wish!"
_" i wasn't waiting under the rain of course. I was hiding.. But the rain got stronger .. So i was going to bring an umbrella" he hushed while pushing his hair off of his face
_" couldn't you wait until the rain stopped?"
_" i was impatient"
I gave him a cold face and said:
_" why didn't you just come to school then! Did you have to bring me back here to find you?"
_"yes" he answered seriously.
_" why?"
_" i will let it go today. But next time don't you dare not wait for me"
I was so confused and surprised that i only nodded.
He took my umbrella from my hand .. And then he pushed me to walk with him under the rain.
Guess what he did?
He went back to his house again. Changed his clothes and made me wait for him in the street.
When he came back i angrily said:
_" what if my brother went out of the house now and saw me? What if the neighbors saw me? I will be dead!!"
He gave me a cold smile and said:
_" and who's crazy enough to walk under the rain in such awful weather?"
Shameless.
Selfish.
He took me to some restaurant after that.. Bought lunch for two and said:
_" i'm pampering you today, but don't you dare not bring food starting from tomorrow"

And then we headed right back to school.
I asked Rayan to go first. He got a pass effortlessly.
When it was my turn .. I looked at the old secretary man and said:
_" my bag is already in the classroom .. I left before the first hour to buy feminine stuff so urgently . but when i came back it was already late. You can check my bag if you want .. I'm in class 2-1"
Once i brought out the "feminine stuff urgently" weapon the old man cleared his voice and gave me a pass right away without even checking my student card!
Sometimes living in a conservative society has its benefits.
At lunch Rayan ate to his heart's content. He looked weirdly amused.
And the next day i found him strangely waiting for me with a new haircut and new clothes.
He cut his hair really short that it was hard to identify him at first.
Without the japanese bang his eyebrows looked thick and edgy .. And his eyes were wider than usual.
When i reached him he just started walking ahead not waiting for me like usual.
Behind him i only stared at his back feeling awkward.
I wish i knew what was in his mind then. And i stopped my plan at that moment.
i wish he was frank with me and didn't hide things in his heart.
At that time .. I had no idea that Rayan saw me standing Salim near the Cafeteria and stupidly thought that the person i was excited to meet was "Salim"
I made him Jealous .. A veteran of jealousy!
The feelings he had for me .. And that he already knew about led him to go ask for an explanation from Salim right away.
Even After Salim denied having anything with me he still felt insecure.
So insecure that he waited for me under the rain until i came and made me promise to come everyday.. Because he didn't want me to go chase after another man.
And so insecure that he bought lunch and made me promise to eat with him everyday so as i don't have time to see anyone else.
He found me "not trustworthy .. Two faced.. And a liar"
Still .. He did everything he could to keep me with him.
He even cut his hair like the man he thought i liked.
Having no idea about that .. I kept acting shamelessly and sneakily around him drawing him closer to me.
I regret that the most.