That Winter You Came (Completed)

season 3: Episode 10

The period which my father spends home away from his job in the sahara is a period of radical changes and order settling. He is so strict of a person that even i who often laze around and skip eating few meals with the family have to bring my heavy tired self down to the kitchen table no matter how exhausted i am from work.. And as well as the rest of the family have to give him company while eating .. And have to listen to all his instructions.
Towards the end of his leave, he finally decided to divert his attention towards the smaller member of our family, who lived among us like thin air and never caused problems to anyone, sitting on the dinner table he looked at my small brother and with a stern face he said: 
_"you are the last of my 4 children .. And per the custom i shall remind you now that you're going to take your bac exam this year that i expect nothing but success, i have invested so much in your studies already" 
My brother who pretty much had his father's serious character only nodded in agreement and carried on his meal.
The dinner table was quiet except for Mimi's little boy who since learned how to make a sound never spared us a moment of calm when he's awake. As for Hidaya who was reluctantly joining us after the big fight, she barely touched the food in her plate.
my mother gave us all a pierced look and unsatisfied expression.. About to throw some bombshell of hers.
Speaking precisely.. My mother always felt that she did a poor job with the three of us, except for her precious daughter Mimi of course. As for her reasons for having a burdened conscience over my younger brother's upbringing is that no matter how hard she tried to make him care less about documentaries and "weird" books and actually care more about the real world around him she failed in that task.
Whenever she held her head and fainted sickness to gain a bit of sympathy from him he would still eye her coldly and say: 
_" if you're feeling sick you should ask for Nadia's help, i can do nothing for you" 
So when the boy nodded obediently to his father's instructions she felt that her role as a mother was overshadowed and neglected. she firmly added finally: 
_" i say you cut all those videogames and weird books and focus on building social skills before you're thrown to the mercy of college and the real world, just look at your helpless sister! One year in the college and she run away with her skin!" 
I didn't feel targeted at all.. I never sought any kind of affirmation or recognition from her anyways, besides i knew that behind her 1000 layers of harsh words her genuine purpose of nitpicking what she believed lacking in my character was her concern over me.
Still that situation reminded me of a certain someone who was very much like my younger brother on the social status, i wondered if there was anyone besides me who reprimanded his poor character and genuinely wanted him to be a better person.
As for the answer to this concern, it wasn't long before i received it .. 
It was one day of mid September during my day shift in the hospital when a colleague nurse came to find me in the emergency care room and said: 
_" there's a patient who is asking specifically for you in D room" 
I found that rather weird and very unusual, it was even weirder that this nurse actually carried such request to me. Feeling confused i asked: 
_"who is it?" 
_"i didn't ask yet, i think he's a family member .. Thank god it was me who asked or else he'll receive harsh words for such requests" 
I felt a bit worried and cautious on my way to D room. But the moment i walked in and i saw the back of the man who was sitting there my heart dropped.
No matter how many blessed people the one treats nor how many lives the one saves from the verges of dying the heart will always be frightened by the sight of someone close to its beats with a mild cut.
The moment i was standing by the profile of Rayan my eyes had already spotted the blood drain on the far right side of his forehead going down by his right ear all the way down to his neck and his collar.
I was beyond frightened by that sight! 
_" what happened? Are you ok?" 
His complexion was ghostly pale although he tried to give me a faint smile of reassuring: 
_"i'm ok" 
_" what happened with you Rayan?" 
_" i was hit by a sharp object" 
My heart was beating so fast and i felt cold sweat and shivering out of fear, still i had to keep my calm complex and act professional. 
I took plastic gloves from the box, and as i was putting them on i carried on asking: 
_" what object?" 
_"a silver jug.. It was empty" 
I walked closer to inspect his wound, the cut didn't look bruised .. Is was sharp and rather large, the kind you fear went deeper than the eye can inspect.
I looked at the X-ray in his hand and i asked:
_" the doctor already checked your X-ray?"
_"yes, he said all is fine" 
As i was talking the examining doctor made a return again to the room, he informed me about the case and the procedures to do before going out of the room again to see another case.
It was only then that i breathed in relief knowing that the cut only needed stitching and there was no inquiries about a possible injury in his head.
And that Rayan was ready to leave once i finish taking care of the wound. 
I finally started dressing the cut without much to say. After i finished my job and wripped the bandage around his head i started cleaning the drops of blood around his face and gave him a proper look: 
_"are you ok?" I hushed. Barely holding the urge of my emotions .. 
_"i'm ok" 
_"do you want to tell me what happened exactly?" 
It was then when i finally arrived at the drops on his neck.. While cleaning them Rayan gulped, and finally answered: 
_"not now" 
His voice although calm was so husky that i could sense his skin vibrating under the tips of my fingers.
I raised my eyes from his neck to look at his eyes again.. Not able to keep my tears anymore i hushed with a trembling voice: 
_" are you really ok? I'm so worried" 
I guess the tone of my voice broke every left shred of concealment in him. 
He suddenly wrapped my torso with his arms, and before i even object or say a word the head that was pressed against me was shaking in tears. And as he fought to stop those unwanted tears his arms tightened their grip around me.
my heart felt like sinking in sorrow.
In all the years of my knowledge of him he was never that weak, even when his father slapped and cursed him .. Not even when he died, Rayan Amer who always stood calm and strong through the winds of life was suddenly so weak that i was left numb. 
My head was full of a thousand questions, my heart full of unexplained anger and sadness.
But i could do nothing except for taking off my gloves and caressing carefully on his hair hushing: 
_" it's ok.. I'm here" 
After sometime he finally let go of me. But he wouldn't lift his head to look at me.
It was then when I finally bent down to have a look at his face.. Looking at those tears that were so unusual and so painful for me to see i reached my hands and i wiped them off of his cheeks.
It was the first time that i touched his face with love. Really .. The very first. 
In my head i knew that i crossed certain boundaries, but i couldn't stop my self.. 
As i cupped his cheeks the skin under my fingers was warm, was both rough and soft.. And the red eyes that looked at me in startle and tenderness were full of sadness.
_"it's ok" i hashed.
Even the chatty me was out of words in that situation, so i only wished that was enough.
He soon cupped my hands gently with his .. And as he breathed calmly he hushed: 
_" you are my only family Nadia, my only army .. And the only one i have" 
We soon left the room, i only had one hour left before the end of my shift so Rayan waited for me in the lobby until i finished and then we walked together to the hospital's interior seating park. 
Although i bought him 2 bottles of juice and cookies while he was waiting for me i still was not satisfied with that. So once we were seated i said:
_" i'm going to buy you something to eat" 
_" no .. I had enough" 
I sat down quietly immediately.. 
Although i'm much of a talkative person, still i was very far from being nosy.. Even about the matters i really wanted to know, so despite my burning desire to ask i still waited for Rayan to find the will to tell me what happened by his own.
_" it was my mother who hit me" he finally started to say.. " my stepmother called to inform me that she was kicked out from the house for a week now and that she's facing a lawsuit issued by my mother, so i paid her a visit to inquire.. And when i tried to talk some sense into her she hit me with the silver rug she was carefully cleaning" 
He looked at me with a bitter smile and continued: 
_"after my father's death i thought she had changed, she paid more attention to me and faked affection. I was only informed today about her ulterior motives, she wanted me to sign papers to give up my inheritance and the house i bought for us for her sake.. When i refused she said i should had never been born" 
_"who brought you to the hospital?" I asked.
_" i took a cab by my self" 
I had no saying in regards of this woman .. I still don't.
So i didn't even want to comment on his family's matter .. Still i sighed and truthfully admitted: 
_"i'm so grateful that you were born.. You are the most important for me, and like you said i'm your family now so don't mind about the others" 
I looked at him and added: 
_" i would never let you go to a hospital alone after an injury, plus i love you so much on behalf of the whole world!.. I'm not a very religious person so i won't ask you to love and respect such a hateful mother.. Let's just pay her a visit once in a while and consider her dead meat in between" 
Rayan watched me amused .. Finally a smile could be seen on his face.
_"i went out of control earlier .." He explained after cleaning his voice.. " the events of this day were very unexpected" 
In my heart i knew that Rayan told me enough to have a vague knowledge of what happened .. And that the full truth and the sum of the words and actions he actually lived were far worst than what he has mentioned.
I mean his household had a hundred person living in it and still no one had the heart to bring him to the hospital! 
Even a stranger would be frightened with a head injury.. How could they just observe from a distance a family member with such injury and do nothing! 
No one even had the decency to call and ask about him! 
Such a family of monsters..
I felt so angry only knowing this slightly of them.. I wonder how bruised Rayan's heart was.
I could only remember those days in highschool when he once told me that both his parents hated him, At that time i thought it was an adolescence fit. I had no idea that this boy only spoke the words he was certain about.
I really have no words.
It was Rayan who paid for our lunch that day in a restaurant ultimately because he had enough of me taking up his role.
While we were eating he commented: 
_" you were so mesmerizing as a nurse" 
And after that he said:
_" i love you Nadia" 
He said it again with a smile when we were parting ways going home. 
And again when i called that night.. 
To each and every confession i answered: 
_" i love you too" 
And i meant it.. I really loved him from the deepest of me.