That Winter You Came (Completed)

Episode 31

"When you're separated from someone you love so much you'd remember every detail of that last sorrowful day.
You'd look at the sun and say: it was shining like this.. that day.
You'd feel the breeze .. smell the scent around you. Touch the leafs of trees walking down the street.  All reminding you of those tearful moments.. Coated with your unbeatable pride.
You'd wonder around your closet, and end up wearing that dress .. That last dress he saw you wearing. You'd look at your self in the mirror and wonder: " if he sees me with it now .. Am i still looking the same?"
You'll spend your life trying to forget just one day.. And still, you'll end up living it every day. So Make sure to say all the proper words.. So you'll live them with less guilt"  translated
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Going to college was a whole new experience.
I had to wake up earlier than i usually did in high school.
I didn't have to wear a blouse.
And i could skip classes if i wanted to.
Within two weeks .. Yassmine and I became so experienced in the matter of skipping classes that the only reason we started coming to college for was to spend time hanging out together.
Of course there was always Imad with us Following Yassmine like her shadow.
And in those days i often bragged:
_" when i skip classes at least i have Anouar to help me get what i missed.. But how can you two help each other?"
At that time, i didn't know that Imad took this joke a whole differently.
I was so consumed in my new world that i convinced my self i was better off without Rayan.
"He always talked so little and made me feel so stressed" i said to my self.
But no cloud can hide the sun for so long.
I remember it was around October when i suddenly received a phone call from a strange number.
When i answered.. The voice on the other side said:
_" allo.. Am i with Nadia?"
Even when i didn't hear his voice for months .. Even when that was the second time he ever called me.
I recognized him right away:
_"Rayan?" I asked.
He didn't answer for quite a long time. But finally he hushed:
_" this is Rayan"
I always knew that i missed him. But only at that moment i realised how much i really did.
And although i wanted to scold him for ignoring me. Curse him for hurting me. And say "that i still loved him like a dumb" .  i ended up saying nothing.
_"are you doing good?" He finally asked.
_"hmm.. You?"
_"not good" he sighed.
For a moment.. I wondered what expression was on his face when he said that.
Was he sad?
Angry?
Or like always .. Just Expressionless.
At that time .. We were on so bad terms that i didn't even dare ask: "why are you not good?"
I just stood silent. Waiting for him to talk or cut.
_" i want to meet you tomorrow in your college at 10 am. Is that convenient?"
A part of me knew why he was coming to meet me all at sudden. I could say "No"
But a part of me wanted to meet him at any cost.
And that was the reason i said:
_" ok"
I didn't get my self especially ready that day.. I wore one of my casual dresses .. Put on my casual make up.
But still when he met me sitting at a bench in the college's green yard he still stood up and said:
_" you look pretty .. You grew up even prettier this summer"
I looked at him from head to toe .. But i couldn't say:
" you look different too"
So i only smiled.. And sat on the empty bench.
He soon sat beside me. Yet, Leaving a large space between us.
He sighed and said:
_" I did it eventually .. I got to C university"
_" i know" i interrupted.
He looked at me and said:
_" you made it to college too .. I always knew you'll made it. Although i didn't picture you like a biology student"
At this point i looked at him with a cold face and asked:
_" what suits me better then? "Torturing and lying" university?"
With that being said..The fake smile he held ever since his eyes met mine was gone.
And The expressionless him finally came back.
He answered:
_" i thought of you as a law student .. Maybe a reporter. Or management field.. You're such a good spokesperson and have the power to convince the others. Even with lies"
_" why did you come to meet me today?" I asked directly.
He looked at me for a moment .. And said:
_" since you couldn't do it yourself .. I wanted to put an end to this"
Although i spent a whole summer ready for it.. It still hurt so much. So much.
I wanted to ask why.. But you see. I always was shameless.. But that day for no reason i decided to have a face.
So i didn't cry .. Didn't object.
I opened my purse.. Brought out the ring he once bought me and handed it to him.
He looked at the ring in my hand for so long .. And then said:
_" can't you keep this at least with you? .. Indeed you're the worst"