That Winter You Came (Completed)

season 2: Episode 6

_"i used to find it so hard to draw blood.. Now i can do that with my eyes closed!" Nadia suddenly said smiling.
_" ayaa! .. These men are so weak and easily get terrified with the sight of the needle!. My poor brother gave me his hand when i was training .. I dug it like if it was a pillow and he didn't object.. I dug it until he had no skin left to dig and he didn't show a bit of pain!" She said again frowning.
I just laughed.
Every time she speaks she lies like if she's drinking water.
Sometimes i can't help but smile seeing how adorable she can be.
Sometimes my heart just ache hearing some of her major lies.
She used to say " that she loved me" without her eyes blinking .. And without a drop of shame.
We both knew that was her biggest lie.
Still i chose to step on my heart every time and chose to enjoy that faking instead.
But of course she can't keep her mask all the time.. When we got stuck in a fight she would say:
_" you always hurt me.. Because of you i got bullied.  And because of you Salim dumped me"
In the end, She never forgave me.. And never forgot him.
Such words always reminded me of how fake we were in front of each other.
And although i wanted to leave on countless times i still preferred to live her lies instead.
I'm such a nobody..
That day in college, I looked at her bewitched again and i asked:
_" was your brother the only one to give you his hand for training?"
She smiled sneakily to my question, and then she bragged:
_" no.. Some other male patients kindly let me numb their arms with pain. Our country is full with such willful and honoring gentlemen!"
I just shook my head and laughed again.
"Such a shameless girl.."
But having her is far better than being alone.
I realised this fact that summer of our first year in high school when she started dating Salim.
I felt so awful at that time..
I often found Salim walking in our street or standing in front of her house.
He always held the smile i wanted to hold. And carried the love i wanted to get.
He had the only thing i wanted to have and still.. He looked at me without a shame every time i encountered him.. and asked:
_" cv?" (Doing good?)
At the age of 17, i learnt how bad it feels to lose a war without even fighting. And how torturing it is to lie saying:
_" i'm doing good"  .. When in fact i was quite the opposite.
I remember i was in so wreck at that time.
My father tricked my brother and took his small store from him.
My mother often spit on my face and cursed:
_" i wish i never had you.. If i didn't have you then your father wouldn't meet the nurse that helped deliver you and marry her!"
And my old man would kick me out the house just because he was bothered with my sight.
At that time i wished i could hear a lie from her .. I wished i could have her smiling at me and saying:
_"it's alright"
But i couldn't but watch her boyfriend talking through the phone in front of her house.. Probably with her.. And probably hearing those words i wished for.
I started taking wrestling lessons that summer because i just needed something to hit to keep my sanity.
I often slept in the gym.. Or in our house's roof.
And once i walk inside the house to have something to eat i would encounter my mother who would curse the day i were born again and yell at me to get lost.
Or worst, i would find my brother stuck in another fight with my father.. And i would force my sanity back. Because god i just wanted to stab that old man.
I felt so wrecked that even getting back to school and getting to see her couldn't fix a thing.
I probably didn't only feel bad .. But looked even worst to the others. Because teachers would always take me to a chat after class and ask:
_"are you doing good?".. "Is there something wrong with you?" .. "Are you having problems?"
My answer was the silence.
I always had a messy life to begin with.. It's just that summer it went worst.
That state of mind went for so long until that day when Nadia Suddenly walked inside the classroom covered with blood.
Not only her sleeves had blood on them, Her white blouse was red too .. her scarf was red.. And she was trembling like a leaf.
Once my eyes fell on her.. I felt terrified .
I never felt more terrified than i did at that moment..
Without even thinking it i found my self running towards her shouting:
_" what happened with you? Are you ok?"
She looked at me with those dark eyes full of tears.. And utter disdain.
She gasped for air and then shouted:
_" how can you not know what happened! What if Salim died ? Would you still come to the class and pretend like you're the victim of the world! We all are going through a lot but that doesn't give us the right to ignore the whole world! Salim was so worried about you.. How can you not know when his life is endangered!"
When talking she was crying.. When crying she hated me with every word.
I had no idea about what happened with Salim .. Nor how serious that was to get her so covered with blood.
I never meant to victimize my self.. Her words stabbed and yet she was right about one thing, and it's that i was selfish.
I seriously didn't care about what happened with Salim.. God forgive me but i felt rather relieved because it wasn't her who got hurt.
I saw the cuts in her hands .. I saw how worried she was so i took the chance and run out of the class as fast as i could to bring a bottle of water to clean her cut, and asked about Salim's condition although i wasn't even bothered with it.
It turned out that Salim had some equipment in the storage room to fall on his hand.
I didn't even want to think about what he was Doing alone with Nadia in the storage room to get him so distracted to get him self almost killed.
After i calmed my self, i went back to the class for Nadia.
I went to her desk.. Kneeled in front of her .. took her small hand between my palms and dropped the water carefully on it.
Although i wanted to ask if that cut was because the equipments fell on her too in the storage room but i didn't dare to ask.
I just treated that small hand like if it was my priceless treasure.
told her Salim will probably come back from his grave just to take her from me again, but i said that in a nice way of course and watched as the worry faded out of her face with every word i said.
I was so angry to see how much she really loved him with my own eyes.. I hated that even when i was holding her hand she still only thought about him.
But you can't force someone to care about you, can you?
After i finished treating her .. I couldn't but selfishly ask:
_"are you satisfied now? .. I checked on him and then i came back fast to check on you"
She looked at me displeased and mocked:
_" why do you bring that in such a situation?"
I couldn't tell her that such a stupid question meant everything for me.
I had my pride.
Instead .. I asked her the question that tormented me for so long.
_" do you still hate me?"
She took a deep breath.. And answered:
_" i don't hate you nor love you. I don't have a single emotion for you"
Once she finished talking.. I laughed at my self.
Like seriously laughed..
I stood up, and i walked away..
Even the girl i loved never cared for me.
Even after so many years of showing her my love she still held no single emotion for me.
But it's so hard to get someone's love anyways.
You can't even take your mother's love for granted.. Nor your father's.. Not even a stranger's.
But it's so far better to have her around me than to be all alone.
she was a good liar too.
She said: " she loved me"
And i couldn't but learn how to be satisfied with only a lie.