That Winter You Came (Completed)

season 3: Episode 4

Sometimes you can't keep putting stuff to the side and act like you are not noticing. That's what i thought of the day the 5 of us friends reunited.
It was again in March 2015 when i somehow ended up thinking:
_"since Imad is on a leaf.. Why don't we hold a reunion before he goes to work again?" 
With that simple thought i ended up calling the 4 of them: Yassmine, Badro, Imad .. And Rayan of course.
I figured out that if it wasn't for me to plan for such things no one would bother do that, it was already about 5 years since we graduated from high school so i wanted to light up the shadow each and everyone of us put the others in.
And it was decided.. I made a reservation at some restaurant in my free day.. And i made everyone promise to come.
And that happened finally, Rayan was the first to come since i insisted the both of us meet first, then it was Imad and finally the couple.
But what i didn't expect though.. Is for Yassmine to bring her cousin along.
The girl was about two years younger if i'm estimating her age correctly, i made such assumption of course because that girl god bless her couldn't spare us a moment of not speaking about how hard it was to be a 3rd year student in the pharmacy department or how easy it was for her to get her bacaloriat with a good degree on her first try.
Being someone who failed in every aspect before finally settling on the nursing school by pure luck i found her words rather irritating. And even being the chatty person i am i still kept silent and found it very bothersome to speak to her, and thus.. Since i mainly am the one to speak whenever the 5 of us meet, by zipping my mouth the field was only left for Yassmine's cousin to brag non stop about all the freaking accomplishments of her life.
_"are you ok?" Rayan suddenly hushed sitting beside me.
I nodded my head with a smile and hushed: 
_"i'm just happy the 5 of us finally met" 
_"are you two together?" The cousin, Lyna .. Suddenly shouted.
God bless her loud mouth, everyone in the restaurant went silent for a moment taking time to turn to look at my blushing face and rayan's escaping eyes.
_"yes, they are to marry after Rayan's graduation" yassmine answered for us.
Making us both act more nervous and distant.
The Yassmine of 2015 gained a bit more weight than she was in highschool, she had a shorter hair cut .. And her face held more make up in it.
But what made Imad steal peeks to her from one time to another was not the obvious extra make up she started to put, but The shining ring in her finger that held Badro's promise in it.
I was looking at Yassmine wondering why she looked uncomfortable even when it was her who brought her chatty cousin when Lyna suddenly asked: 
_" but tell me.. How could you captivate such a handsome and smart man's heart? No offense but i have a friend at the architecture department who told me about Rayan. So i wonder how could you make the guy who rejected all girls accept you?" 
Saying those words her tongue held a weight of disdain and mockery that even her fake smile failed to hide.
"Someone like me" i thought.. " someone like me can't have such a man without deceiving and schemes in the eyes of others" 
_" i loved him for 8 years, I loved him even when he didn't know i existed, i guess god is fair that's it" 
I barely finished those words when Imad suddenly tapped somehow strong on the table and said:
_"the one doesn't get what he wants by only loving and waiting, i'm interested to know the answer too Nadia, tell me what the one does to have his lover?" 
The moment he said that.. The table went silent, and my heart twitched..
I didn't know what to say, Badro and Yassmine both looked at their feet and avoided looking at him.
How could we still act like we didn't notice his love for Yassmine even seeing how much in hurt he was for so long? 
Sometimes.. Pain is so obvious that the heart can't ignore.
_" i always thought my love was one sided" Rayan suddenly said.
Shocking everyone in the table but me, he looked at me smiling with a red face and added:
_" she's the last person who can give you an advice in this field" 
_"it's only because she says whatever and you believe whatever that you've been fooled, still i think it's best to ask my man Badro" Imad interrupted with a mocking tone.
He turned to look at Badro with a hilarious smile that apposed the table's mood and then he asked: 
_" how can you make a girl fall for you?" 
That question held no answer, We all went in a long awkward silence and stopped eating
They say one single love can start a hundred years war, in our case it was a hundred years of awkward silence and of me wanting to punch Rayan for making me look like a fool.
Even turning 24 we all were still stuck in highschool with our immature hearts: Where a couple were struggling to see each other's love, Where another couple were in a selfish love, And Where a man's heart couldn't carry but an impossible wish.
We all stood silent like we always were, even the cousin that didn't hesitate for a second before talking about the new purple slippers she bought was suddenly out of words in the wrong time.
After sometime, i couldn't take it anymore, We haven't met in so long but when we did we were stuck in that situation.
I went through many possible topics to talk about in my mind, like how the weather was amazing for a long walk, how trending were foulard dresses, Or how delicious was the food in that restaurant.
But in the end, Once i opened my mouth the only thing i said was: 
_" Imad you're an expert in making people fall for you already, i myself had a major crush on you in middle school to begin with!" 
And that was a lie of course.
_"are you serious!" Imad yelled with his eyes bulging out.
_" yes! you were the tallest in the class and the most handsome, and you treated me softly when you were trashy to everyone else" 
_" i treated you softly because you were like a sister! How could you have ulterior motives towards my honest feelings!" He laughed.
Seeing him finally smile my heart was finally put at ease.. I carried my lie to all extents i could reach seeing his self esteem getting higher, He even proudly commented: 
_" then if i noticed your crush on me and accepted your feelings, you would have been my fiance by now" 
_"of course i wouldn't! I would have exchanged you for the first man i meet you rotten, and you would have cheated on me with a thousand girls by the time i found another man!"
_" that's true, You both are such players" Badro finally commented, Smiling, imagining us both as a couple.
The rest of the meeting went smoothly, with us three talking about that parallel world the tension was finally lifted off the table, and even the cousin couldn't get a chance to talk.
It isn't like we ignored Imad's love out of pity or carelessness, it's just that he himself made the effort to hide those feelings for so long. And somehow we ended up supporting his long poor acting.
There was nothing else i could do for him but that..
When the meeting was finally over and the men offered to pay, we parted ways on the promise to meet so soon, all side eying Yassmine clearly suggesting that she shouldn't bring that rude cousin again.
When the group was dismissed, Rayan suggested to walk me back home, or at least the closest we could get.
But apart from his brave suggestion .. He still walked beside me silent the whole way, a thing i didn't find weird of course since he's always silent like a grave. But what concerned me was the way he eyed me, he looked pensive somehow.
_" you know i can't read your mind if you don't tell me what you want to say.. I don't have that super ability"
He looked at me for a bit.. And then he said: 
_" i was thinking that you Nadia are truly amazing, i mean for 7 years i thought you loved someone else and then i finally discovered that for 8 years you loved me.. But again one year later i discover that for probably 10 years you loved another guy. I'm just amazed" 
To be honest.. My mind went numb, when doing all the calculs he mentioned my brain just stopped working properly at some point.
But even me having such a half brain i still was way smarter than that dumb Rayan Amer.
I was so frustrated that i didn't even comment on what he said. 
_" i'll go home by my self" i mumbled utterly defeated.
I love him so much .. But sometimes i just wish to choke him to death
_" you can't just leave me to my thoughts Nadia, because i don't__" 
I stopped walking and turned to glare at him. Just looking at that confused face of his i said: 
_" it is not my job to wipe all your uncertainties Rayan, i spent huge deal of my life trying to convince you that i was honest with you and i'm done doing that, i love you so much god is my witness.. But at this time of my life if the one i love still questions that then i'm better off without him." 
Even when i made all the effort saying all those words to him he still only nodded with a stupid smile.
And towards such cold reaction i decided that i couldn't stand the sight of him any longer.
So i walked with huge strides towards the bus station. I even took the furthest seat from his in the bus and refused the ticket he paid for me.
And then i walked with big strides from the bus station towards my house, that's when Rayan suddenly blocked my way with a sudden smile on his face. he pointed at the house right beside us on the street and said: 
_"this is our house"
He looked at that two flour's house again with his eyes sparkling, he grabbed some keys out of his pocket and smiled again: 
_"this is our house Nadia, what do you think about it?" 
_" what do you mean our house!" I shouted.
He rubbed the back of his head.. And then he explained to my shock: 
_" i was keeping my inheritance from my father you know that, and then i heard this house's being sold, a good deal, so i purchased it.. It's ours now" 
I looked at him in disbelief. 
Even at this moment .. I still don't know what i felt at that day.
Truth be told, Rayan Amer is the master of announcing his surprises in the very wrong time. In the very wrong way. But since that man isn't someone to joke, when he blurts such news out your heart and mind would be caught off guard. And that's how it was at that moment. The man that questioned my love just An hour earlier was suddenly telling me he bought a house for us to live in.
Rayan failed to notice my puzzled face then, he started talking about buying furniture together and choosing the colors i wanted.
_" i took pictures for you to see the house from the inside since you can't go see it with me now, we still have few months until i ask for your hand too. If you don't like the house though i can sell it again and find another .. But this one's close to your family's residence and i know how close you are to__" 
_"shut up!" I finally shouted.
I looked at the house in front of us for moments and then i looked at him again with tears in my eyes and i yelled: 
_" you bought a house without telling me!" 
_"i'm telling you now" 
_" you could have invested your money in starting a business after graduation you silly. Why buy a house!" 
_"i thought about my career of course i always have, we won't be living on your paycheck if that's what you're concerned about.. I planned__" 
_"morron! .. I mean a house all at sudden, i didn't think it was so serious" 
_" i'm very serious Nadia, did you think i was joking?" 
you know that feeling when you get so excited, so surprised.. So mad. Just a messy paste of all emotions that covers your thinking. And you end up saying just whatever.. That's how it was.
Instead of saying " thank you for calling it our house" .. "I'm happy i have you" .. "I'm about to cry of emotions" .. "I love you". All those words refused to come to me, 
What i can't describe no matter how i write our story is how terrified of trust Rayan Amer was.. And how lonely he always seemed, Seeing someone who thought that people are needless reaching his hands for me along the years was something i'll always be grateful to. No matter how painful it was.. 
Something even i, who has a saying in every situation, would be out of words facing..
i only kept moving my eyes from him to the house to him again that day. Trying to wipe my tears nervously.
_" i don't know.. I'm .. This house is for us?" I asked again.
_" do you accept to be my wife Nadia?" He asked all at sudden again.
Without a ring.. Without a knee bow, in the very wrong day, wrong moment, and in front of the house i still didn't believe it existed, That was Rayan's real proposal to me.
that's how he always was.. a social failure that i loved to my bones.
_" i accept" i answered, looking deep in his eyes with a smile.
He smiled too .. Genuinely.