That Winter You Came (Completed)

season 3: Episode 1

Nadia p.o.v 
I was turning 24 in 2015, and turning 24 without a husband in the pocket sounded like a nightmare to my dear mother.
I remember she used to look at my reflexion every single morning in the mirror and sadly comment: 
_" when you were younger i was worried you wouldn't find a proper husband because you had such a plain face, now you look somehow beautiful but you still failed to bring a husband, i should have wished a good brain for you instead of a good face, i made the wrong prayer" 
And these words were by far the best considerate comment of them all. Being the girl i was I would give her my best smile every morning and just ignore all what she said.
Because, for one: you should never take my mother's words to heart if you don't want to get seriously depressed, and for two: The examples of marriages around me weren't so encouraging after all, my brother's childless marriage was creating more and more problems between him and Hidaya. And watching Hidaya getting obsessed over child bearing new methods was breaking my heart to peaces. As for my sister's marriage, that sure brought me a husband phobia. I often came back from the hospital to find my sister crying her heart out to my mother. Everytime i asked her about her little boy "Kiku" she would tell me his age exactly: "he's 19 months and 4 days, he's 21 months and 17 days!". She would want my professional opinion about his growth and i would tell her all i knew with details, Because that actually was all i could talk with her about. i couldn't tell her that she gained more weight than she planned. I couldn't stop her aimless wish to have a second child so soon to save her marriage, and i couldn't say that i saw her husband walking around the town with other girls by his side. I knew she was aware of that, we all were, but for my sister a "divorce" was absolutely out of the picture so i didn't want to break her pride that she held so high in front of me.
Being 24 and knowing that i was about to get married to someone was actually terrifying me.
Especially that this someone might not be Rayan i waited for so long.
To be honest, Rayan of 2015 was giving me much hope because he was much different than the boy i knew for years, he called me more .. And came to visit me more often. He never asked for us to go back together officially but still he was acting more like a boyfriend than he ever did.
All i can say is that his father's death changed him in a way i couldn't understand. I loved the new him so much more of course.
I remember one January cold night i was in my shift when Rayan suddenly walked inside the emergency ward holding two big plastic bags in his hands and the biggest smile on his face.
I was so surprised that i kept staring at him with a silent smile not moving a bit to meet him.
I must have stayed in that position for so long .. Because the next thing i remember was a colleague nurse poking my shoulder and saying sneakily: 
_" your family member must have brought you something really delicious to eat, i won't forgive you if you didn't let me intrude" 
And when i turned to look at Rayan again with a blushing face, the man who was standing with the bags just seconds ago had already taken a seat with the waiting patients.
I remember it wasn't until few minutes later that i finally managed to meet him.
When he opened those bags for me to see what was inside i was surprised to find two big boxes full of chakhchoukha and chicken wings. I was even more surprised when Rayan explained with a red face: 
_"my mother thought she was cooking to a bunch of my friends"
"He asked his mother to cook for me" i thought. 
Hearing his words and seeing his expression made my heart beat so fast and made my own words disappear, so i just kept staring at him.. Hoping that my eyes could tell him that it was unfair of him to make me hope for more.
He cleared his voice.. And then he worriedly asked: 
_"you hate chakhchoukha?"
_"i love it" 
_"then you should eat so much, you told me you slept starving in your last shift" 
I laughed, looking at the delicious food in front of me i asked:
_"you remembered that?" 
_"i remember everything about you" was his answer.
Being 24 and having someone to look at me like if i was a diamond made it so hard for me to imagine my self marrying anyone but him,and that was terrifying me more than anything..
It was his last year in college too, he had so many projects to do and so little time for me but he still called me all time and came to meet me in the hospital.
I didn't know what to call us then, we weren't boyfriend and girlfriend, and we were not friends. Nor strangers, so I was so uncomfortable being stuck between all and nothing. And i didn't know how i should react. He seemed to notice that about me too.
Especially that one time when a male colleague of mine suggested to escort me and another nurse to the bus station since it was so late in winter. A suggestion we accepted with thanks and duaa. The three of us were heading out of the hospital when we met Rayan all at sudden.
It was so rare of him to come to the hospital that late in the evening so i asked right away: 
_" is everything ok? Are you here to see a doctor?" 
He looked at the 3 of us with an examining look and then he explained: 
_" i'm here to take you, i sent you a message about an hour ago" 
I didn't know about that, so i took out my phone right away to check his message when the male colleague suddenly asked: 
_" is this your family member Nadia?" 
_"No" Rayan answered coldly before i could say "yes" 
And his No put me in a rather difficult situation. Because how else could i explain the fact that a strange man came to meet me in early night in our conservative society.
My two colleagues gave us questioning looks, especially that Rayan came to see me often in the hospital and everyone just assumed he was a family member.
_"he's our neighbor" i explained with a sour face.. "We grew up together.. He's very close to our family that we consider him one of us" i lied.
The moment i said those words, two major things happened.
The first was that i saved my face in front of my colleagues and i could feel their judgmental eyes soften. Which was my purpose.
The second, Rayan's eyes broke instead. Which was the last thing i wanted.
My colleagues kept talking about my nursing skills and beautiful manners with the patients along the way, and not in a single moment they treated Rayan like other than my brother. 
He didn't say a word though, he just kept walking beside me in the dark like if he wasn't hearing a thing.
I didn't dare look at his face afraid of what i would see, only fake smiling to the compliments i got and thanking them, until we finally reached the bus station.
When our bus finally arrived i was about to step inside when Rayan suddenly grabbed my bag and forced me to stay there.
But still, even when i stood beside him in the cold for so long and watched the busses go one after another and the sky getting darker he still didn't say a word. Making me choke in my guilt and stress all that long.
It wasn't like i meant to deny him, it's just that i had to save my face in front of the people i will probably work with for the rest of my life , And i ended up denying him doing that.
After a long time i finally found the courage to say: 
_" soon we'll lose the last bus" 
_"is that all you have been thinking about all this time? Missing the bus?" He asked in a mocking tone.
_"No" i answered, finally turning to look at him.
The 24 years old Rayan was to die handsome, to die mature .. And to die confusing.
_" then what else have you thought about?" He asked calmly.
But not even waiting for my answer he added: 
_" i'm very impressed with the new ideas you find to hurt me every time"
What made his words sound so awful wasn't the letters he chose to form them, but the sincerity and disappointment that joined them, that colored them, and filled me with pain and guilt.
And he was right..
_" i didn't know how to introduce you to them Rayan, i don't know what i should call us now" i answered truthfully " you're not my boyfriend, you're not my friend, i don't know what am i to you. And They would eat me to death if i said something else you know that"
_"i sorry" i added.
He nodded his head all at sudden, gave me a smile and said: 
_" i'll forgive you on one condition, and that is that i'll come with you when you explain to them how did you end up accepting to marry your so called brother"
I was so shocked to hear those words coming of his mouth, i looked at him with a bulged eyes and asked: 
_"are we marrying? I mean i would die of happiness if it's true but are you serious?" 
My confusion seemed to please him a lot, to the point he seemed to forget all what happened earlier.
_" Nadia, do you think i'd spent all these years loving you for a joke?" 
Once he finished saying that a bus came to a stop beside us.
Rayan smiled widely, and teasingly said: 
_" either you take this bus or spend the night in the hospital because i'm not paying a cab for you after what you did tonight" 
Although i could pay for a cab my self, i still followed him. 
And although the bus was almost empty, we still took faraway seats. And both smiled secretly.
At that night i realised that the man who seemed faraway for so long was actually closer than i thought.
And the next morning when my mother mentioned how unfortunate it was having a single girl my age.
I knew deep down that the one i waited for so long Was waiting for me too. And that i was wearing his invisible ring all along.