Episode 17

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When i finally reached to high school, the story i heard about me was much different from reality.
People said : that i was so devastated with Salim breaking up with me that i accepted to marry a tall chubby man and was going to quit high school.
When Yassmine said this to me she commented:
_" let this story be .. At least everyone will look at you with remorse and Salim will regret ruining your life"
I laughed at that with her.
I didn't expect that someone will actually fall for this story and regret messing up the things for me!
Because tomorrow morning .. I was walking with my sister to school when i found Rayan leaning on the fence from Layla's days and waiting for someone.
When we walked pass him he suddenly ordered:
_" don't ignore me!"
My sister and I turned to look at him both startled.
Well, i was startled.. My sister was drooling for him.
To be honest, the rebellious bad boy thing Rayan had at that time only made him look more handsome for my sister's alike.
She looked at me with excitement and asked:
_" how come Rayan Amer knows you?"
_" we're classmates" i mumbled. Not sure why would he Stop pretending i didn't even exist and decided to talk to me.
_" i'm Mimi .. I'm Nadia's beloved sister" Mimi shamelessly introduced her self.
But the boy standing in front of us looked like if he didn't even see her.
Feeling ashamed and dejected . she hushed:
_" i'm going first to school then"
When Mimi left i gave him a cold stare and said:
_" why did you decide to talk to me today?"
Let's face it .. At that time, i was in a state where i moved from worshiping him to finding everything he did annoying and hateful. From stuttering and eating my tongue around him to stabbing and talking without shame.
Rayan would recall those days many years later and say:
_" you terrified me at that time, when i thought you were calm and shy you hit me like a storm. When i thought you were a storm you remained calm like a grave. You played with my heart like no girl did and you made me give up to you"
At that time i didn't know that my shameless character was captivating our class's most smart brain and most handsome face.
I only thought we were in a cold war and i had to bring out all my weapons so as i stop loving him like a fool when he didn't care about me.
Rayan then looked at me seriously and asked:
_" are you quitting school?"
He looked troubled about it for some reason .. So i wanted to play with his emotions like he always played with mine.
_" yes" i said .. "I'm to be engaged officially in two months"
_" are you crazy!" He commented disgusted.
_" what's crazy about wanting to have a family and a husband?. I want to be cherished and pampered"
_" do you think you will be cherished and pampered? .. You will be enslaved and disgraced! And when you have three children your husband will no longer find you tempting and will bring a new woman . and then you'll hate your children and blame them for everything!"
He was talking about his mother. Isn't it?
I looked at him surprised and decided it was no longer fun to mess with him.
I hated to remind him of his pain even if he deserved to suffer a bit because of what he did to me.
I glared at him and coldly said:
_" you were smart enough to hit where it hurts with me and Salim and because of you he broke up with me. So how come you are very stupid now and believe such nonsense?"
He looked at me with a surprised face all at sudden making me wonder if he actually wanted me to marry or something.
But he suddenly asked:
_" wasn't it you who left Salim?"
At that point i wanted to hit him with my bag .. Hit him until he no longer has a functioning brain!!
_" of course it wasn't me! I was dumped because of you! Are you happy now that you destroyed the only happiness i had?"
_"i'm not happy, but isn't it for better? You didn't love him and he didn't trust you" he answered.
What a paranoid person!
I was speechless.
_" you're not quitting school so i shouldn't be worried about it either" he commented . and then he just started walking away ignoring me.
I regretted not messing around for much longer!
"How come such selfish people exist!" I said to my self.
At that time i only wanted to seek revenge from him.
I walked to school like a monster.. And once i reached Yassmine i ordered:
_" tell me how you made Rayan go out with you. I 'm going to seduce him! I'm going to make him my boyfriend and then i'll dump him when he least expects it! I'm going to be merciless!"
Yassmine looked at me with a sour face and asked:
_" what happened to you all at sudden? Why are you so vengeful?"
After i told her about our little encounter before school it was her who held my hand and said:
_" i'm doing everything to help you with this! You have all my heart!"
Little was what the youthful us knew about the matters of the heart.
We had no idea how damaging and painful would be to mess with someone's feelings.
We had to step aside and let Rayan just be the selfish him. But we chose to ruin him having no idea that our plan would actually work for us but with greater damage than we have anticipated.
When i first red about the Chernobyl case.. The first idea that came to my mind was Rayan.
Put two inexperienced workers in charge of a nuclear test and you'll have a nuclear disaster that you'll have to deal with for ages.
Put two inexperienced girls in the way of Rayan Amer .. Of a potential bomb and you'll have an explosion much worst than you expected.
I know this sounds ugly, and i have no right to justify what i did. The only thing i can say is that i was young.. And i loved him. And that he broke my heart in ways i hated my self for loving him.
Making him taste a bit of bitter sounded reasonable . i never planned to make him lose the sense of tasting because of that.
Our plan was simple. I was going to be more beautiful and i was going to be smart.
Because yassmine was beautiful and Layla was smart.
After two weeks of studying and working hard on my appearance we were convinced that i wasn't going to get any smarter than i already was.
But makeup and few extra kgs made me raise a bit in the scale of womanhood.
With that being taken care of .. We had to step to the next level of my plan which is to get closer to Rayan.
Since that boy never spoke and always slept at class i had no entry.
I thought .. And i thought even harder. And with the little brain cells i had i found out that the only ways i could have a chance with him would be the morning encounter and the lunch break.
And so.. Everyday i cooked a lunch for two and took it with me to class.
And in lunch break the two of us stayed alone there.
Every day i invited him to eat with me but he kept sleeping on his desk not even saying "no" properly.
So that part of the plan seemed to fail.
And every morning i went to school especially earlier and i waited at the fence for him to come.
Waited in the cold.. Waited under the rain.
And when he finally came .. I would look at him every morning and say:
_" i didn't ignore you today. Remember that"
he didn't even look at me .. And his face would still have new bruises to it and new bandage.
And then i would walk fast to school dejected.
The first week went like that in vain.
I even kept my spirits high and shamelessly continued my plan for The second week too.
But by the third week, It was already so frustrating and hopeless that i decided to just forget it and move on.
And so i did..
In Saturday i went to school late without a lunch.( weekend in Algeria at that time was only Friday, if you wonder .. Sunday in a working day even now ) I ate with yassmine at the school Cafeteria and hopeless i asked:
_" tell me how he asked you out?"
SHe took a spoon of her soup .. Swallowed it and said:
_" i don't know, i was in school break he came to me and said " will you go out with me?" I found him handsome so i said "ok" .."
I almost cried..
Look at me burning my hands and freezing my body everyday while she did nothing and still got him!
I looked at her sorrowfully and asked:
_" why didn't you tell me from the start that it was pointless trying to seduce him!"
_" it's because i knew that if you didn't act crazy like this and wanted revenge you would instead cry and wanted to forget. Wouldn't it be more painful just trying to forget while suppressing your feelings? You needed to let them out even like this"
Yassmine looked very wise in my eyes. I nodded my head and decidedly i said:
_" i will find a new boyfriend . it's time to let both Rayan and Salim behind. It's time to let the bullying behind. It's time to let Layla behind too"
And that was it until i was surprised by the third day in morning finding Rayan leaning at the fence.
It was so surprising .. Like a sudden snow. Like a rain in Sahara.
A hope in despair.
When i walked beside him he suddenly said:
_" you made me wait for so long.. It's so cold and it's raining heavy"
I looked at him in complete shock when he suddenly pushed him self under my umbrella and took it from my hand.
I was so surprised that i only walked beside him speechless.
He didn't say a word either until we reached the class.
And in lunch break .. He came to my desk and said:
_" i told you i liked your meat balls .. Why did you cook only chicken for two straight weeks then? i hate chicken"
I lost hope in him .. But he built it again.
In my point of view .. It seemed like i tried to seduce him for two weeks and i finally failed so i gave up.
In his point of view i tried to act friendly for two weeks around him but for a reason he didn't know i suddenly stopped.. And i was the only one who tried to be friendly.
He thought i was like a storm that would blow and suddenly stop. But would blow again ultimately..
And that's why..
In that winter .. He came to me with his own feet.


 

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