That Winter You Came (Completed)

Episode 21

Going out with Rayan didn't involve much changes.
Instead of walking ahead of me , he started walking beside me.
Instead of eating lunch alone in class .. He said that it was better to eat in the Cafeteria.
When i asked him why is that he replied:
_" when we were only friends it was ok to be alone sometimes since i wouldn't dare think of coming close to you .. But now that we're a couple i can't promise to be a gentleman with you all time if we're alone. You always are careless and don't care about other people's opinion of you.. I even had to stay in the class all time when you were with Salim to save your face"
I looked at him astonished.
I realised that Sometimes careless people are the ones who care the most.
I never thought that the aloof him who laid on his desk was only there for me.
What was his opinion of me when i spent all those days eating with him alone?
Was the reason he rarely talked to me only the fact he didn't want us to be intimate?
Going out with Rayan started solving some misunderstandings for me.
Like the bruises and awful knuckles he had at the beginning of the year which i thought came from his involvement with some gangs or drug dealers were actually from his wrestling fights.
When he told me about that .. I remember the both of us were sitting beside each other in my desk after one teacher was absent for her lesson.
He was helping me with English reading .. He looked at " Mohammed Ali" and said:
_" i never knew that punching didn't only make us in pain but also wiped pain from us until i tried wrestling this summer"
I looked at him dumbfounded and asked:
_" were you wrestling at the beginning of this year?"
He looked at me and nodded:
_" i was my trainers favorite apprentice since i dealt with the fights like a professional .. I only stopped wrestling when i had to find a job to pay those 100 DA for you everyday" 
He had to work just to pay me? And i was only joking.
Going out with Rayan gave me reason to break up with him everyday..
" at this moment he'll be hurt enough"
" today is enough"
" enough"
Although he never said he "loved me" .. But he showed me enough care and intimacy to prove that.
i didn't find the heart to break up with him. Because much more than i thought .. I was a huge part of his life.
I mean what girl breaks up with a boy who comes to find her one morning .. And once his eyes fall on her he says:
_" i didn't realise how lonely i was before you.. But now that you're here. I know how lonely it would be without you"
It's like he felt it all along.. That i wasn't so merciful to forgive him. And so vengeful to smile in his face only to stab his back.. And that's why he kept injecting all that affection to choke my guilty conscience with it.
he even called me "two faced and a liar" on the very day when he asked me out.. And spent the rest of our days trying to correct that about me.
He took the risk although he knew he was going to get hurt since the beginning.
February has passed.. And march was following it.
With march came the second period exams.
And with exams to my bad luck was my father's holidays from his work in the Sahara.
You see, my father is an army man .. He would disappear to his work for two months and then come back for days.
And for those days he would make our lives miserable.
Settling order here and there . bossing around .. Threatening.
Thanks to my father i already swore long ago that i shall never marry an army man. Not because of the long departure nor the risky job, but because of that famous line he always says:
_" we in the army cherish the discipline. Are honorful.. Brats like you won't survive a day in the army!"
As a very lazy person, i took that offence to my heart.
I remember i felt so troubled when Salim was planning to join the army when we were together. I was afraid he'll give me headache every time he returns if we got married.
That march my father was suddenly so interested in my school results.
And the fact was that i wasn't the worst student .. But i wasn't the best either. I kept my score around 11/20 which is above average enough that i won't be considered a burden on our class but away from making me an honorary student.
But like i said, my father was so interested in my school results that one day in dinner he asked:
  _"how did you do last time in school"
I swallowed my food hardly and said:
_" 11,35"
He smiled satisfied and bragged:
_" out of my 4 children you're the only one i'm counting on to reach college. At least i will be honored to know that i did some good job with one of you"
That "honor" word already started giving me shivers.
He thought about it a bit and then he ordered:
_" go bring me your results paper"
Once i did and he saw all my marks in every subject he forgot all about honor and college. Instead he started to shout:
_" are you even an Arab?? Who gets below average in Arabic!!.. I can't blame you  for getting a 4 in English since after 5 years of studying English i suppose you're still studying the alphabet .. But to get a 4 too in French that i can never pass! Half the words we speak are French!!"
I didn't dare say a word. I always hated languages.. Plus i chose not to be a literature student for a reason. Anyways, my father looked at me and it was decided:
_" tomorrow you go look for a school of languages. You need to work on all the three of them"
And so for the next day and although i was already busy preparing for the exams i still had to obey to that military man orders and go search for a language school.
in the first period school break i looked at yassmine and i asked:
_" do you know any language school?"
_" why ask about it?"
She wondered while fixing her lip gloss in the small mirror she hided in her school bag.
I sighed and replied:
_" my family wants to send me to one"
She kissed her self in the mirror and replied:
_" i don't know any school for languages but i know someone who goes to one. Farid Souadia .. I heard him bragging about it in the cafeteria"
I nodded my head. And then i looked at that short boy with a big nose and bigger ego.
I never talked to him before .. But no one can miss the fact that "Farid Souadia" is the biggest smug in the class.
But a military order is an order.
So i stepped on my heart and i went to talk with him.
_" can i ask you about something?" I directly asked.
I couldn't but notice that the whole class went silent all at sudden.
Farid gave me a smile and answered:
_" sure , what is it?"
I looked right .. I looked left. And i said:
_" not here"
If i was going to ask Farid about anything.. I sure shouldn't do that when everyone was eavesdropping on us.
So we walked a bit to the side building. We came to a stop and that's when i said:
_" i heard that you are in a school of languages. I want to ask you if the school you're at is good"
He smiled proudly .. Took a deep breath and explained:
_" what you heard is right. It's not that my language skills are bad because we're classmates and you already know that i'm one of the best .. But the one needs to improve what's already good. And of course i made sure to choose the best school so i highly recommend it"
I tried to be nice as possible and i asked:
_" does your school still accept new students? I want to join"
_" yeah sure, it's not so far from here too so it's convenient. But the tuition price is a bit high"
I gave him a wide smile and said:
_" then i definitely should go to this school"
I smiled in victory.. Let's see if that father of mine will still insist on sending me there when it involves so much money from his pocket.
We agreed to go visit the school together after school that day so as i get further information.
Once i finished talking to him i noticed that Farid was looking behind me. And then he suddenly said:
_" Rayan my friend, i suggest that you join this school too, your skills were impeccable like i heard the last year. But now you only hang around average"
That's when Rayan suddenly stood beside me and said coldly:
_" just mind your own business"
Farid unhurt at all .. Just gave me another smile and left.
_" what's happening?" Rayan asked right away displeased so i explained:
_" my father wants to send me to a language school.. Farid said his school is the best.he's taking me there"
In the end .. Rayan accompanied us too.
The boys walked ahead of me.. And i walked a step behind.
If you wonder how i felt towards Rayan i'd like to tell you that my heart was beating so hard i was embarrassed that if Rayan was close enough he would hear it.
I loved him .. From the deepest of me.
But you see, when i wished that he would love me back he didn't.
But when i came to him in revenge he finally saw me.
So i kept convincing my self until the very end that it was meant to end up painfully between us.
Although in the end it wasn't me who broke up with him anyways.
Life is silly.
Anyways that day i went to the school and i liked it.
Within two days i was already doing an evaluation test.
The exam's period has passed.. And then my days in the language school began.
At that time i didn't know that the only thing that kept Rayan from joining in with me was the lack of money. I thought that since his father had a jewelry shop they were really well of.
They had a beautiful house in the neighborhood.
And Rayan dressed so well. So i never asked how was his actual financial state . because if i did i would have known that his father didn't give him not even 1 dinar.
He lived in that house like an extra and had to work to earn money.
I always wondered why he waited for me at the school entrance but never suggested to join.
But the answer only came a couple of years later like a slap on the face.
After a month of studying there and after the spring holidays. I looked at him once in the school Cafeteria and said:
_" don't come to pick me up anymore from the school. Farid lives not so far from us and he can walk me home"