Complicated

Chapter 60: Oblivion

this one's a bit short but important

swipe to listen as always, y'all know the drill —>

O B L I V I O N

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Kathy's Journal

June 16th

Did I mention that I missed my dance tournament?

Yup. I mean, hey, we won I guess.

Without me. Without Roxy. They won without us. The ones who choreographed and led and everything.

Don't get me wrong, it's great that they won. Just sucks I didn't get to be a part of it.

Now, I don't even want to do it. I don't want to dance. I don't want to go on my morning run. I don't want to read. I don't want to watch the vampire diaries or wizards of waverly place. Everything that brought me joy previously just feels so... mundane. I just want to lay in bed listening to music.

And that's all I do.

And it pisses Damon off.

He doesn't understand. He was there, sure. But he didn't see what I saw. He didn't feel the descent from meters in the air. He didn't feel Fred touch him all over. He didn't feel the pain of his mother dying... I mean he will, I know that. I feel bad for him certainly, because his mother will actually die and mine was just a hallucination. But it just felt so real.

Anyway, there was another assignment today.

"If your life could be a book, what would the name of it be?"

That's cute. You think just because I love... loved, books you could make this prompt be fun for me.

It's not.

But anyway, the name would be... oblivion.

I want to be in oblivion.

Then I wouldn't have all this shit clouding my mind during the day, haunting my nightmares at night.

That's the worst part, none of us can sleep, but especially Ric and me. Because when Ric sleeps I get his nightmares. And when I sleep he gets mine, and given the fact that the last time I got a nightmare I saw Fred touching me again and that made Ric literally throw up, I've been trying not to sleep.

I just want to live in oblivion. I want to not know. I want to forget.

Also, I'm so fucking tired of your bullshit. You just wait until the best healer in the wizarding world and the second in command in the ministry hear you refuse to attend to my medical condition. HA. motherfuckers.

~ Kathy

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Cierra's POV

What you know about life?
What you know about blood?
~~~

June 16th

I handed Kathy's owl, Andromeda, my coral, leather journal and she headed over for the ministry with both Kathy's purple one and mine.

This has all been so stressful.

I placed a hand on my stomach, sighing at the knowledge that there was nothing there, not anymore.

I thought about Louis. About myself.

I thought back to when I received the news a couple days ago. I didn't react. When the healers and my mom told me about the loss of my child I said nothing. Louis tried to hug me and comfort me but I pushed him away, made him leave our room, I wouldn't be able to hold it together if he hugged me.