Complicated

Chapter 63: Epitome

double update today, part 2 will be uploaded in a few hours when i finish my exam!

swipe as always —>

p.s i'm so sorry

E P I T O M E

———

Damon's POV

I should've told you what you meant to me
'Cuz now I pay the price
~~~

June 19th, 2020

I wake up smiling so wide that my cheeks hurt, feeling the sunlight from the Ravenclaw dorms warm up my face, still recalling the wonderful events of last night. As I turn to hug my wonderful girlfriend beside me, I realize she's not there.

I think nothing of it, she usually wakes up earlier than me anyway. It is not until I sit up and see Roxy, my girlfriend's best friend, crying in her bed, that my heart plummets to my stomach.

I immediately grab my sweatpants from the drawer I have in her side table beside her bed, put them on underneath the covers, and rush over to Roxy.

I grab onto her shoulders. "What's wrong, Rox?"

She says nothing, instead she reaches underneath her lamp on her bedside table and hands me a note with a shaky hand.

Damon. Is all that is written on it, in Kathy's beautiful, perfect handwriting. The sinking feeling in my stomach gets worse.

I sit on Kathy's bed and open the note with trembling fingers.

I will always love you.

I need you to remember that for me, because I won't.

I know you're mad. Furious, even, but please understand. And please don't start drinking or using or anything like that again.

I need you to understand, even though you probably won't.

I tried to handle it. I promise you I did. But I can't take it: I can't take the night terrors, I can't take the burning and itching on my calf, I can't take closing my eyes and seeing him and feeling everything all over again, Fred's hands around my throat, Lucius torturing me, I just can't. I tried to be strong enough for this I promise you I did but I couldn't and I'm so sorry.

Please forgive me. I wanted to tell you but I couldn't, if I told you and saw your reaction I wouldn't have been able to do this.

And don't try to change anything because by the time you read this it's probably already done.

I went to the ministry and fought for myself to get obliviated.

Of everything.

I won't remember the torture, the assault, the kidnapping. But with that, also comes that I won't remember anything about the wizarding world. I decided it to be so. I also won't be returning to finish off my schooling in Hogwarts but since I've already taken most of the seventh year classes, the Ministry approved. I handed my wand in to the ministry last night and became a muggle. I've got a new last name and everything. I can still use wandless magic but since I don't remember I have it in the first place I doubt I'll use it.

But I'm not Katherine Granger-Malfoy, the brightest witch of her age, anymore.

I'm Kathy. A muggle.

I know you're probably raging right now and I don't expect you to understand but... sometimes no matter how much therapy you get, no matter how many healers you see, even the best ones like my mom, some wounds and scars never heal, and that's the case this time.

And I'm perfectly aware of how bad of a person I've been to you ever since all this happened to me, and I'm not letting myself hurt you more. You don't deserve it.

My family's been cued in, my mom is furious but my dad he... he gets it? I guess? But they'll play into it with me, apparently.

Also, don't come looking for me at home. I'm leaving. I'm sorry I can't tell you where I'm going.

All I can really say is... thank you bebe.

You changed my life.

You made me excited to wake up and face a new day because I knew you would be right by my side. You made me want to live not just survive. You... you are my real life Damon Salvatore. You have given me a love that consumed every part of me. You gave me passion, adventure, danger even. Your love infiltrated my mind, my bloodstream, my heart, every part of me is consumed by you, and I loved that it was that way.

And just as you told me last night:

You are the epitome of my life, Damon Lovegood.

I may not have lived long but I've lived through a lot of shit and so I know that your love is the best thing I'm ever going to get out of life.

I wouldn't be who I am without you.

You made me passionate, adventurous, even dangerous. You helped make me who I am.

Now, the conditions of this bloody agreement are that I can't talk to anyone who I wouldn't have met if I hadn't been in the wizarding world, so Nova, Maya, Parisa, Zucchini as you always say, I can't talk to any of them.

I can't talk to you.

I don't know you anymore.

I'm so sorry.

But thank you. This year everything has been so bloody amazing with you beside me. You gave me life, hope, you made me a new person, brought out a side of me I love and hope I get to keep.

So thank you. From the bottom of my heart you have to know that I will forever be grateful to have had you and I will always love you.

But I mean, look at this on the bright side: I've always wanted to be an actress. Maybe that can happen now. I can also learn to ride a vespa, and cook, and do a lot of other things which is pretty bloody amazing if you ask me.

Now you, you have to promise me you'll move on. I want you to be happy with someone who deserves you and all the love you have to give. I want you to become an auror, like you want to do. I just want you to accomplish everything you want: happiness, success, all of it. Because you deserve it. You deserve to have anything and everything you want from life. But you have to promise me that you'll actually LIVE life, not just survive.

And again, remember this for the both of us:

I will love you forever.

And I will always be yours.

I love you.

~ Your Katherine.

I feel myself hyperventilating, gasping for air and the last thing I see is Roxy running over to me, trying to catch me before I fall.