Complicated

Chapter 32: Bullshit

i attached a song that goes with how Damon's feeling right now up there so y'all can listen to it while you read

okay, this is kinda sad but enjoy

B U L L S H I T

———

Damon's POV

I don't want to let go.

I know I'm not that strong.

~~~

My world disintegrated around me when Mumsy told me.

"We have to talk to you." She told me.

By the tone of her voice and how mom kept glancing over at her worriedly, I already knew something was very wrong.

"What is it?" I asked, urging them to tell me already.

She held onto my mom's hand tighter. "I umm... the doctors found something. A tumor, in my breast. It's malignant."

The doctors found something.

Malignant. 

Tumor.

Malignant.

Everything I remembered from classes started crashing in, the little bit of information I knew, that is.

"My little sun, malignant means—"

"I know what malignant means." I barked at her unintentionally.

Malignant.

Tumor.

That means cancer.

My mumsy has cancer.

I didn't mean to be rude to her. This is all too much.

Malignant.

Tumor.

Cancer.

Death.

My mumsy's gonna die.

"No honey, Mumsy's not going to die." My mom reassured me. Apparently I had said my last thought out loud.

"You don't know that." I whispered.

"She isn't going to die. We're going to get treatments, and see the best hospitals in the world. She will get better." My mom continued to reassure me.

I stood up. "Yeah... okay."

I need to leave. I need to find the door.

"Damon? Honey, don't leave. Where are you going?" I heard my mom after me.

I opened the door, it's already late. It's no longer light outside.

"Damon." My mom tried to stop me, but I kept walking. Where? I haven't a clue. But I can't stay here. This is too much. I can't do it.

I kept walking. And walking. And walking.
Without a purpose, or a direction. I didn't stop until I realized I needed to catch my breath, and when I did, I was standing in front of a pub.

Kathy and I made a promise that last night we were both drunk. More like I made a promise to her.

I would stop drinking.

That promise made itself even stronger when she found out about my birth parents.

'An addictive personality' she called it. Means I get addicted to things easily. That's part of the reason I made that promise to her, alcohol had never been good for me. Addiction runs in my blood, I could very easily get addicted to alcohol and then I could fuck my life up because it's very hard to come back from that.