The Wrong Victor

Chapter twenty-seven: Katniss

Peeta's gone. He went to go fight the war in the Capitol. It's been hard without him. My nightmares come back every night. I don't have him to hold me and to kiss me. He calls everyday, but it's not the same as having him here with me. It's not the same as waking up from nightmares in his arms and having him hush me and speak to me as I fall back asleep.

"-niss, Katniss." I look up to see my sister helping me with my clothing. The doctors and Prim say I've regressed in progress. They're probably right.

"Where are we going?" I ask my sister as she moves to start pulling my damp hair into a braid.

"Coin asked for a meeting. We have to go speak to her." Prim explains to me once again. I nod slightly and sit still and silent for her to braid my hair.

I wonder what the meeting is about. Maybe about where Peeta is. Maybe about Peeta. Oh no. What if he's dead. Oh no oh no oh no oh no oh no oh no! He's dead. He died. She sent him to his death and now he's dead. Oh no oh no oh no oh no! He's dead!!

"-niss! Katniss! Breathe!" Prim says from in front of me.

When did she get there? Doesn't matter. Peeta's dead.

"Hey, hey, what's going on through your head? Talk to me, Katniss. I can't help if you don't talk to me." Prim says her gentle hands brushing over my cheeks just like his would.

"He's dead isn't he? Peeta's dead." I cry into her hands. He's gone. He's dead. Coin sent him to his death. He's gone.

"No, no, he's still alive. Shh, we just talked to him earlier remember? We talked to him this morning and tonight he's going to call again and we'll talk to him again." Prim says softly wiping my tears away. "He's alive. He's still alive. I promise. And if I'm wrong then we will take it up with Coin in the meeting. But I promise you he's still alive."

I close my eyes and nod. He's still alive. He isn't dead. "Okay."

Prim helps me finish getting ready for the meeting before we leave our unit and head to the meeting.

Down some stairs, up another set, left turns right turns, and I swear at some point we walk upside down because I'm so lost.

"Okay, deep breath. We're going to just have a meeting with Coin and we're going to stay calm." Prim tells me before we even start to head towards the door. After I nod and take a deep breath, Prim opens the door and we walk in.

At the round table there's Haymitch, my mother/doctor, my psychologist, Beetee, Coin, and a few other unimportant people. I take my seat and the screen in the middle comes on. Peeta.

"Peeta!" I call out and he smiles at me through the projection.

"Hey, Katniss. You doing okay? You having a good day?" Peeta asks and I nod.

Was I lying? Yes. But he doesn't need to worry about me when he's in the Capitol fighting a war.

"Katniss, don't lie to the boy. He takes everything you say to heart." Mother says and I look at her. As if she knows anything. I haven't seen her outside the hospital since I got back. She doesn't know anything.

"Don't glare at your mother, sweetheart. He needs to know the truth." Haymitch says and I glare at him too. "Oh so scary. Anyway, Peeta, what she's been failing to tell you is that her progress has deteriorated. All the progress you were making with her is slowly coming undone. Nightmares every night, screaming every night, more and more episodes."

"Then I need to come back. Katniss' progress is more important-"

"Let me stop you right there, Mister Mellark. I did not call this meeting to pull you from the Capitol. I called this meeting to discuss sending Katniss to you."

Absolutely not. No. No no no no no no no no no no no no no. I can't I can't go back I can't can't can't can't can't can't can't can't. No! No no no no no no

"-niss, Katniss, hey, hey, focus on me. I'm right here. I'm right next to you. I need you to breathe." Who is that? Who is next to me? I look only to see that wretched person who healed me after Snow beat me close to death.

No! Don't touch me! I smack their hands away and fall over in my chair as I try to escape. I quickly get to my feet and run. I just run. I need to get away. I'm not safe. No where is safe. I run down a hall and go to run down a turn when I'm grabbed.

"NO! LET ME GO! NO! PEETA! PEETA!" I scream begging him to save me! "PLEASE!" I scream as I'm held tightly and dragged back to my death. "No!" I try to hit and bite and claw at the arms holding me. "NO!!"

"Mutt! You're a mutt! You're an animal! You're nothing but a mutt! No one loves you!" The healer says as they hold my face with a nasty sanguine look on their face.

I cover my ears and just scream. I don't want to hear anymore. I don't want to be here anymore. I want to be home with Peeta and Prim and dammit even Buttercup. I want to be away from it all. I want to be safe and protected.

"Katniss Katniss Katniss Katniss Katniss Katniss Katniss Katniss Katniss Katniss Katniss Katniss" they all hiss at me as if my name is so disgusting and putrid to say that they just hiss it out like the snakes they are.

"Sweetheart, sweetheart" Haymitch? Where? Where are you? Haymitch save me! "Sweetheart, I'm right here. You're safe. Let's go through your truths. Okay?" Okay just keep me safe. Please. "Your name is Katniss Everdeen."

My name is Katniss Everdeen.

"You're eighteen years old."

I'm eighteen years old.

"You come from district twelve that was bombed."

I'm from district twelve but they bombed it.

"You were in two hunger games with Peeta."

I was in two hunger games with Peeta.

"You won be first one with Peeta. No one won the second."

I won the first but no one won the second.

"You were taken captive but then rescued."

I was rescued.

"You're here with me and Prim in district thirteen."

I'm in district thirteen.

"Can you open your eyes for me?"

I slowly open my eyes and dive into Haymitch's arms. He doesn't smell of booze and it's different, but it's because thirteen doesn't have alcohol. I grip his shirt tightly as he rocks me side to side.

"Katniss, are you okay?" Peeta! I look around but I don't see him. Where is he? "Katniss, I'm on the screen."

I look up and there he is his face covered in worry but now relief as I meet his eyes through the large screen. "Peeta." I whisper before looking around where's Prim.

"Right here, Katniss." As if she knew I was looking for her. She pushes our mother away and walks over to me. "Hey, it's okay. You're safe here. You won't have to go. You're not going." Prim stands up and looks like a young woman now. She's not my little duck she stands tall and proud in front of me. She isn't the little girl terrified of the games. She's grown up some, a lot. "As Katniss' at home nurse responsible for all of her progress and her wellbeing, she will not be going there." Prim says sternly.

I can't see Coin, but she must have moved because I hear the chair scratch at the metal floor and Haymitch tightens his hold on me.

"But I am in charge here, Primrose and you are merely a child. Katniss is going and that is final." No. No this can't be happening. No.

"Sweetheart, deep breaths. Deep breaths." I take a deep breath as Haymitch holds me like my father used to hold me when I had nightmares. I curl into his arms feeling like I'm barely six when a mine collapsed and it terrified me because my father worked in the mines. I remember cuddling up to him as he sang me to sleep.

However Haymitch isn't singing me to sleep, he's not my father. I'm not six years old, and I'm going back to the Capitol.