The Wrong Victor

Chapter forty-one: Katniss

I perch on a weighted ball, one similar to the one Peeta threw in the first training session. We're in a training building, I think it's the one from our first games, but my memories are still a little mixed up so I'm unsure. I snicker as Prim and Peeta both wanted to learn to shoot a bow and arrow. I doubt Prim will ever use this, but if she wants to learn I'll happily teach her.

"Peeta shoulders back. Prim chin up." I correct as I watch their forms.

"She's laughing at us." Peeta pouts to Prim as he releases his arrow and misses the target all together.

Prim fires her arrow and it hits the target to the left. "No, laughing at you." She snickers as she reloads her bow.

"Okay, unfair. Come help us." Peeta looks over his shoulder at me with his big puppy dog eyes.

I stand up and walk over to him. "Notch your arrow." I instruct as I stand behind him. His taller frame stands almost a whole head over me. I smile as his strong shoulders work to pull back the bow. I gently grab his shoulders and pull them to the correct position. "Keep your shoulders back and down." I say before gently tracing his muscles down his arms. I push his elbow up a little so his hand is next to his mouth and his arm is correct. "Keep this flat not like a chicken wing." I walk around him to his front and look at his form. "Don't fling your arm out after you shoot. To prevent that I'm going to stand here. You hit me I drop you to the ground."

"God, can you go back to being nice?" Peeta teases with a wink before releasing his arrow. It hits the target this time.

"Now just aim better." I grin before turning to Prim who is standing there grinning after she hit the center of the target. "Prim's got it. Now do it five more times. Both of you." I move back to my ball and perch back on it to watch them. Prim gets better at hitting around the same spot. Peeta does not, but I know he's also trying to be bad so he can get the excuse of hitting Coin. If all fails I'll have my bow. I'll end them both.

"Sweetheart, I thought he was supposed to be getting better." Haymitch teases as he slinks in without the others noticing. His voice is soft and quiet so they don't lose focus.

"He's distracted at the moment. Distracted by everything going on." I whisper back before finally tearing my eyes off of Peeta to look up at the man who has been like a father to me. "How's the request coming along?"

Haymitch crouches down so he's not towering over me and so I can see his eyes. "It's an impossible request."

I nod and bite my lip. This is stupid. I shouldn't be so emotional over this. I shouldn't be so sad over this. I can't be sad over this. But I can't forget about it. Snow will die thinking he broke me. Snow will die thinking he's victorious. Snow will die thinking I'm weak.

No. I can't let that happen. I can't. "Haymitch, please."

"Katniss, I can't do anything about it." His eyes drift to Peeta and I look over at the blond who has finally realized I've stopped snickering at him. I meet his blue eyes and I see guilt hiding in them.

"Peeta?"

"Katniss-"

"You refuse to let me see him? You are stopping me from seeing him?" I ask standing up from the ball and walking over.

Peeta flinches back his grip tight on the bow, fear in his eyes.

I take a step back and shake my head. "Through all of this I thought you would understand. After everything I thought you would back me up. But you're just like everyone else. You're scared of me and what I might do."

"Katniss, no."

"No? You just flinched from me! You have a death grip on that bow! Don't stand there and tell me you're not scared of me!"

"Sweetheart." Haymitch grabs my arm and gently starts to pull me out of the room.

I turn and follow Haymitch out of the room. I wipe away the frustrated tears that ended up falling down my cheeks. God I hate this. I feel normal but then these moments happen. "He's scared of me. He's scared of me and I can't even stand up to the asshole who hurt me and show him that I didn't break."

Haymitch wraps his arm around my shoulders and pulls me into him as we walk. "He's not scared of you."

"Yes he is. You saw him. He tensed up and held that bow like it was life or death."

"Katniss, look at where you are. You're back in the training rooms. He's preparing to kill someone." Haymitch stops us and makes me look at him. "Tell me honestly, if given the chance to see Snow and given the chance to end his life, would you?"

I stop and look down for a moment. "This shouldn't be on Peeta to do. He shouldn't have to kill anymore. Let me do it. Please. Please. I can do the plan I can. Just let me kill Snow. Please. Peeta shouldn't have to prepare to kill someone."

"Can you stop protecting him for a moment?"

"No, I was separated from him for a week while I was medicated and fixed. And now standing here I am glad I was the one who got taken by the Capitol. He never deserved any of this."

Haymitch just pulls me into a tight hug that threatens to crush my bones to dust. "You didn't deserve this either."

"Let me save him from the guilt. I won't kill Snow early. Promise. Just let me see him and let me be the one to put the arrow in his heart."

"I'll talk to Coin."

"Promise me you won't talk to Peeta. He'll talk you out of it."

"I know. I won't."