The Wrong Victor

Chapter twenty-one: Peeta

After Katniss was sedated she was taken back to her room to rest. If they would just give me more time with her I could bring her down from these moments but they won't. They see her as a threat and that's all they will ever see her as. I'm useless to the one person I could help.

"Peeta, don't beat yourself up over this." Haymitch says as he sticks around my room to annoy me and to probably keep me from leaving to stay with Katniss.

I stare at him and lean back knowing I won't get out of this room until I'm healed. "How can I not? Katniss is the one person I actually know how to help and they won't let me. They're keeping us apart because she's apparently dangerous. She's not. She's just scared. If I could just have more time I could have brought her down from her episode." I explain as I wish I could have her curled up with me again. Just to feel her close and know she's safe after being away and tortured.

"I get it kid. That's your girl and you want her safe. But she is safe. She has Prim. That little girl won't let anyone hurt Katniss." Haymitch says and I guess he's right.

Prim won't let anyone hurt Katniss and if they get past Prim I know she would run straight here to get me. I just wish I was there to keep her safe. But I won't be allowed to be until the war is over. "How much longer are we going to be fighting the districts? I want this war over and done with. Katniss needs stability and a war is not that."

"Well, thanks to your little stunt we have District 2. Finally. So we have all of the districts on our side. The top dogs are going to the Capitol soon to start the fight. You will be here safe and sound until Snow is captured."

"No, this is and has always been my fight. I need to be up there. I need to be fighting."

"That's too dangerous, Peeta. Even with all the training."

"They're not going to back a revolution where I'm sitting safe and sound while others are fighting for their lives. I get I'm the face so let me do that and go to the front lines."

"It's too dangerous. They could capture you and kill you. Then who will look after Katniss? Gale? You want him to step up for that role?"

"I'm just saying no one is going to back a fight that I'm staying out of. I'm the reason all of the districts are finally fighting. Katniss and I were the last straw for them. Let me lead it. Please."

"Peeta, I am not going to lose you. You lost your parents in the bombing of twelve well, I see you and sweetheart as my kids. I'm not going to lose either of you to this war. You're seventeen!"

"I need to be up in the front lines. I need to be there when Snow gets taken. I want to deliver the final blow. For Katniss. Please, Haymitch. Let me do something for once."

Haymitch offers a heavy sigh as he drops into a chair for the night. His shoulder sag as he rubs his wrinkled forehead. "I'll talk to Coin about it." He looked up at me and those seam grey eyes bore into my soul and I understand what he doesn't want to say.

That if I die Katniss won't ever be okay again. That if I die she'll never get better and she'll always be like this. That if I die her world will crumble and Coin will treat her like an animal and put her out of her misery and that would leave Prim alone.

Those girls are depending on me. Their mother doesn't spare a second for them. They're dependent on me making it out of this alive and building a future with them.

"I'll come back home, Haymitch. I'm pretty tough to kill." I try to joke to lighten up the mood as it's been dark for way too long and we're getting towards the light of a new era.

"Don't I know it. Cato, the man from district ten, the force field, Brutus, and the young man from district two. Give or take a few killer mutated animals in the games and your family and Snow." Haymitch chuckled and I smile at him. "But don't let that go to your head. I did that. I thought I was invincible. Obviously wasn't. But if you get up there you know what I'll say."

"Stay alive." I chuckle and he nods. "Get some rest Haymitch. I'll keep watch if Prim needs help with Katniss."

"No can do. You rest because you'll get in trouble without someone watching you."

"Haymitch, I see a new wrinkle forming in your forehead. Get some sleep, old man."

"Old man," Haymitch got cut off by a yawn. "Who are you calling old man?"

"You, get some rest I promise I will stay in my bed and yell at you if Prim needs help."

And with that he passes out in the chair. I stay up watching the door wondering where Katniss is and how she is. I wonder if she's awake. If she is, is she worried? Is she freaking out? Why couldn't her room be closer?

"Knock knock." I look up from my blanket to see Johanna. "Hey lover boy, where's your worse half crazy girl?"

I roll my eyes at her antics and sigh. "Her room. She had an episode and instead of letting me figure it out they sedated her."

"They really are treating her like a wild animal."

"Yes, they are."

"Hey, guess who is training for front lines."

"Let me guess, you."

"Yup! You going too?"

"Not unless I can convince Coin to let me go. But even then I'd be leaving Katniss here without me and with Coin."

"Pick your battle. Leave your girl or leave the war."

The door opens again and I see Prim standing there with Katniss. "The doctors said she could come spend the night if that's okay with you."

"I'll take my leave. By lover boy. Bye crazy girl. Bye little baby." Johanna waved me off, patted Katniss' head, and pinched Prim's cheeks as she left.

"Of course it's okay with me. Keeps the nightmares at bay." I smile as Katniss quickly walks over and climbs into my bed. "You okay?" I ask brushing through her brown hair as she curls into my body.

"Yeah. Just tired." Katniss whispered curling up more and falling asleep.

I look over to Prim who has brought in an extra bed to sleep on. "You could have joined us. There's room, Prim."

When I said that her eyes lit up and she quickly climbed onto my other side and carefully curled up. "Thank you." She whispered and I just brushed through her hair as well.

"Anything for my girls. Get some sleep."