The Wrong Victor

Chapter forty-three: Katniss

That hypocrite, telling me I can't see Snow, I can't face Snow because it's not important, it's not safe. All his bullshit lies. He's good at that. Lying to people. He's so charismatic and charming and boyish, no one would ever see him as a liar. That's why he's perfect for the plan to shoot Coin and Snow. While he's always been this image of innocence, I think it's time I recognize he's everything but innocent.

"And Miss Everdeen, lovely to see you again. My pet." Chills run through my body as I focus back on the demented man who stole my memories and nearly killed me.

I force a smile and stare at him. "Cornelius Snow." I say with no emotion, no invocation of any feeling. I want him to know he is nothing to me. The anger and resentment I am feeling is more towards Peeta at the moment than at Snow. Snow means nothing. To me it's summer and all holds Snow had on me have melted. The same way his ice cold blood will melt from his body when he's killed.

"You look beautiful, Katniss. Finally enjoying the Capitol as you should?" Snow asks and I just stare at him.

I look to Peeta and take a deep breath. "I'm done looking at melted snow. I have other things to do." I don't. I have nothing to do. I just don't want to be in here. I don't want to be near Snow anymore. I don't want to be touching Peeta anymore. I'm full of anger, rage, fear, and hurt. I need to get these out of me. I need to release everything. I cannot do that here.

Peeta nods and we silently exit the room. The guards bid us goodbye as we walk away from them.

I wait until we are out of view to pull my body away from Peeta. I cross my arms hoping it makes me look angry or intimidating even if I don't feel intimidating. I stop and lean against a wall as no one is around and no one can hear us.

Peeta stops as well his eyes screaming guilt while his face shows an innocent face as if he were nothing more than a puppy who got blamed for a vase breaking.

"Don't give me that." I hiss at him causing him to look confused. "Don't give me the innocent act. It's just an act. That's all it is. It is just an act. You're not innocent. You're not clueless. You're not ignorant or naive." I take a deep breath trying to rein in my anger. "You're a calculated manipulator."

"Katniss—"

"Peeta, you've seen Snow at least once before. Now at least twice. You kept me from seeing that man while you prance around seeing him. It's all an act. You are not an innocent boy. I have been trying to protect you since I finally got most of my head on straight. I've been trying to figure out ways to keep you safe. And I am just now realizing I don't have to do that. You're not an innocent boy getting smacked by his mother for burning bread."

Peeta just nods as I finish. "You're right. I'm not that boy anymore. I went through two hunger games trying not to be some chess piece only to be played like a fiddle. So I learned the game. I took control back. I'm not that innocent boy anymore. What you don't know is the amount of people I've threatened. The amount of people I have come close to killing for you. For your safety. So, of course I didn't want you to see Snow and put that safety in jeopardy again." Peeta says keeping calm and collected like Madge's father did. And now I see that resemblance too.

Just as my mother and Haymitch are so similar, Peeta and the old Mayor are too. Their calm personalities, the way they both were so naive and yet so powerful. They way they both acted as the charming boy next doors only to be cut throat.

This is not my boy with the bread anymore. No matter how much he tries to pretend to be the boy with the bread. This is not him. This is not the boy from the cave, this is not the boy who watched me sing when we were little. This is not the boy I feel for. This is some sick twisted version that has become a powerful politician even if he doesn't realize it.

"Take me back to my room." I say pushing myself off the wall in order to start moving down the hall again. "You obviously know your way around, so get me back to my room then leave me alone."

"Katniss—"

"No." I stop and look at him again and I feel as though this time I am looking at a stranger. "I think we need to take a moment. I don't know who you are anymore. You're not the boy I knew and I need to accept that. I need to learn who you are now." I say softly running a hand through my arm. "Until I know that I think it's best if I keep my distance."

Peeta nods and gestures for us to keep moving. He knows he's no longer the same boy just as I am no longer the same girl. We have grown and evolved apart from each other. We had been able to grow together in the games and after the games. But this time. With me in the Capitol him in District 13, we grew apart. I was tortured and nearly killed while he was praised and put in a position that called for power. We need this time apart to understand who we are then to understand who the other is. Jumping straight back into where we were will not work. We can't force it to work. We have to accept that we have changed and know that change before trying to be whatever we were before.