Kabanata 34
innocent
Since it's Sunday today, I don't really have something to do. I just went back to my room after having breakfast. Umalis sina Mommy kaninang umaga kaya kami nalang siguro ni Kuya ang nandito dahil mukang wala siyang balak umalis ngayon.
"Bye, Mommy." I kissed her cheek, my hands on each of her shoulders. She smiled and nodded, that was my cue to back away and give her space.
"I won't be home early so just eat dinner with your Kuya. I have to go now." She said, rather coldly.
I'm not expecting though, I'm used to it. Hindi naman talaga sila umuuwi ng maaga at kadalasan pa nga ay halos hatinggabi na umuuwi.
We don't bond together, minsan pa nga kami nakukumpletong kumain nang magkasama. I think it is one of the reasons why our family isn't close like how the others are. Our family is always serious and cold. We don't joke around nor play, minsan nga parang kasalanan na kung magbibiro ka. Sa tingin pa lang ni Lolo, tatahimik ka na.
Bumaling siya kina Manang at may binilin pa habang ako ay nasa gilid lamang at pinapanood sila. Hindi rin naman nagtagal nang natapos sila at agad nang naglakad si Mommy patungo sa kotse na naghihintay sa labas.
I could only sigh while watching her leave. To be honest, after everything I said to her that day, everything went different. Hindi na masyadong lumalapit at kumakausap si Mommy sa akin simula no'n. Aaminin ko namang kasalanan ko, it was all my fault.
Honestly, those words that left out of my mouth kept replaying on my mind every night at dawn whenever I can't sleep. Naiisip ko ang lahat ng mga salitang binitawan ko sa kanya o kahit sa iba. Hindi ko alam kung bakit bigla nalang bumabalik sa akin ang lahat ng mga masasamang ginawa ko noon sa hatinggabi.
"Bakit ka pa nandiyan, hija?" Napakurap ako at napabalik sa reyalidad. Agad akong bumaling kay Manang na taka akong pinapanood mula sa hamba ng kusina.
Umiling lamang ako at nagpilit ng ngiti.
"Nothing, Manang." Tipid kong sagot at tinulak na ang sarili upang lisanin ang lugar.
Nagpunta ako sa taas at naisipan na munang bisitahin si Kuya sa kwarto niya. I found him shirtless in his bed while playing, his eyes were fixated on the huge tv infront of him.
Napailing nalang ako nang makita kung gaano na naman kagulo ang kwarto niya, but nonethless, I just ignored it and lied down on his bed, beside him.
Ngumuso ako at dumapa habang pinapanood siyang maglaro mula sa controller na hawak niya. I looked around his room when I got bored watching him.
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