One night.

35.

Yusuf's Past.

"There are some things you don't want to tell people and then there are things you don't know how to tell."

It is so crazy how Yusuf could relate to this,it was a little bit scary too.

Life keeps shooting us with challenges but we still have hope,that is where Yusuf failed,he doesn't have hope at all.

His mother knocked the already opened door with a smile and walked in,he sat up smiling at her "It will rain today,the whole mama coming to my room," He joked dramatically and she laughed which made his heart a little but warm. "Stop being dramatic," She shot back as she sat down by his right.

"You didn't come out today.At all." She stated "So I decided to come and check up on you," He felt like crying it all out of him,telling her all his problems,all the things that broke him but he cannot be selfish,his mother doesn't need more problems on her plate at this instant.

"Yeah," He croaked after realizing that he didn't reply,she let out a deep breath as she held his hand and Yusuf knew that he will not enjoy what will come next "Share your pain with me,am your mother Yusuf.Stop acting like you are okay. I know you are not." Yusuf wanted to laugh it off and say "Mama being so serious doesn't fit you" but oh boy he didn't have the strength to act strong.

He did the last thing that he ever wanted to do.

He broke down.

"Do you think I could ever do that?" He asked concerning the case of Warisha accusing him of nearly raping her "Never ever!" She replied and relieve washed over him.

"You are not saying this to make me feel better,right?" He questioned and she nodded her head "I know the person I raised,I will agree that you can do somethings but never rape,not when you are in your right senses."

Relief washed over him,at least apart from Iman,someone trust him.

Pain.

There's something about pain,it never actually leave.Sometimes it will be as if it have left,but then it just hid around the corner for a while,it lingers for a while.

Yusuf tried to smile at his mother who was staring at him "Don't you just want to leave?"

"Leave everything behind for your happiness." He said as he smiled at her "That would be great,if you live for yourself." He stated.

"I live for you two.Being a mother and a wife is my only identity Yusuf, I cannot change that;I don't want to." She stated in a low voice.Yusuf let out a sigh "Their is more to life than this,do what makes you happy.Being here makes you sad,leave this place." She shook her head "I am not sad, I have you two,that alone makes my heart swell with happiness."

"I am very sure you have dreams too,don't you just wanna chase them?"

"Dreams are not real,they are mere illusions and we shouldn't get lost in them."

"Their is more to you than being just a wife and a mother," Yusuf stated and she nod her head smiling "I know." She smiled "It is too late." She stated as she stood up.

"It is never too late mama." He quipped and her eyes shimmered with tears as she cast them down "Have some rest." She stated as she walked run outside the room.

Yusuf rest his head on the bed as he let out a sigh,tears threatened to fall of his eyes but he wiped them off.Crying won't change a thing,he doesn't have the energy to cry anymore.

His whole life is just so messed up,from each and every side of his world,all he sees is pain and heartbreak.

He stared into space thinking about life.All that lurked into his mind was what Warisha did to him.

Why?

Is this what he get for loving hard?

He shouldn't have signed up for love if he knew this would be the outcome,all love did was increase his pain and grieve.All love did for him was dive him deeper into the darkness of his world.

"Love isn't for me."

He stated to himself with a sad smile,he wish he knew that.He wouldn't have let himself get swayed with feelings.

Betrayal hurts.

She should have let him with that,he was already ruined,she ruined him more.

She should have let him like that.

Let him take the weight of her betrayal.

Let him stop loving her.

Let him accept that she is his father's wife.

But no,she added more to his pain.

He doesn't even know what to feel again.

Where to start from.

It is just too much all together,he is still un-able to process it all.He is still waiting for someone to wake him up from this bad dream.

She accused him of rape.

His father hates him now.

All because of love,love isn't for him.He shouldn't have thought of it at all.

He have always thought that one day he will say "I am happy that I met you." to someone.Sad that he thought that someone was Warisha.

But now,she is a person he wish he never met.She have hurt him in a way no one have ever hurt him,she have hurt him to an extent that he cannot grieve it.She have ruined him.

"I wish I never met you."

"Maybe I would have been able to fake a smile and it would look real."

Let the tears roll now,because a whirlwind of emotions always ends up into a break down.

A painful one.

As Salamu'alaikum guys! I had an interview yesterday,do check it out through Nabilah_Bint_Luqman's account,the book is named "The Journey Of A Thousand Words".

Xxxx.