all time low (2012-2013)

candle lit bath

i ring on ronnie's door and i wait for someone to open his door, his maid opened the door for me and told me he's upstairs.

ronnie has the life skills of a frying pan, he can barely cook or clean. and thats why theres always a maid helping around the house.

i knock on his door and the moment i enter it, it smells like weed and strong alcohol. ronnie got caught up with drugs late in highschool, he's been in and out of rehab a couple of times, i dont like it when i see him falling back into the same patterns even if its not hardcore drugs.

we got closer especially that me and him both shared love for music and for wanting to start a band, he is currently with his own band, falling in reverse, they just released a new album last year titled the drug in me is you, and dude. it's cover reminds me of natalie and her girls.

"hey" he says while sniffing, i sit down next to him, his room is pretty dark, its just halfway lit with a small lamp light, dimly lighting the room.

i sit next to him on the floor. theres line of coke on the glass table and a credit card, i dont know what is happening.

"what are you doing" i snatch away the bottle of liquor from his hands putting it behind my back.

"having fun" he says while sniffing.

"i dont like seeing you like this ronnie, you need to go back to rehab" i say while brushing his hair out of his face.

"yeah no shit its not your problem" he says in an angry tone.

"i'm i supposed to watch you just ruin yourself? you were clean and doing great, what the fuck is that!!" i yell at him hoping it slaps some reality into him.

and it doesnt. he still persists that he will be fine and that he is in control. but he said the same thing when he was hospitalized last time.

i care for him but he is becoming such a burden to deal with, he needs help point blank and he refuses to get it, and it's not my responsibility to keep him together.

"okay ronnie, do whatever you want" i say growing frustrated with him, it almost made me want to cry, i didnt know what to do and i just left it behind and decided to go home.

jack had left me his car and mike drove him home so that i wont have to take a taxi. i drive back home really fast, still angry at what went down between me and ronnie.

it's like he has a void and he keeps filling it with drugs, if he did that forever he'd be dead.

after i make it home i throw jack's car keys on the drawers we have next to our door and i take off my shoes and socks, i hate their smell.

"jackk??" i yell, just incase he ended up going out with some friends and he wasnt home.

"yeah?" i hear him very faintly say from upstairs, the house is quite dark, not even the tv is turned on, i go upstairs because its clear he isnt hanging down here.

"hey?" i say, and i hear him from inside the bathroom, our room only had one lamp lit which was the one on his nightstand.

"i'm in the bathrooom, come in" he says.

"are you sure you arent taking a hazardous shit?" i ask laughing as i put my phone on my nightstand.

"No i'm not" he says while laughing at my remark. i step inside the bathroom and there he is, chilling in a hot bathtub with a couple of candles lit around him.

"mm this is a mood" i say, the candles and the bubble bath had such a nice smell.

"yup, sure thing it is, come here ive missed you" he says as he extends his arms begging me to take a bath, he is always so excited when i'm back like a puppy when their owner comes home.