all time low (2012-2013)

separate me from my own two hands

A/N: throughout this book there will be many flashbacks related to the first book, all time low (2002-2004), so i'm sorry if it makes zero sense without context. like always i encourage reading the first book.

danielle's POV:
2004..
"i swear then my mom smacked me with the remote!" alex says as we line up next to our classmates, its gym class and he was telling me about his mom last night and we both were laughing at how funny it was.

"STOP THIS IS HILARIOUS" i say while laughing.

"I KNOW RIGHT?" we both laugh.

"oh look here's jack" i say and we both stand next to him, our coach had broke her leg and so naturally, natalie being the cheerleader coach, she also took care of gym class.

"hey how are you" jack says with a big smile on his face, we had spent last night on MSN messenger flirting and saying romantic stuff and it made my heart so full.

"i'm great, alex was just telling me about the remote stuff from yesterday" i say while laughing.

"YEAH IT'S JACK'S FAULT, WHO PLAYS GUITAR THAT LOUD AT TWELVE IN THE MORNING ON A SCHOOL NIGHT" alex blames him.

"SORRY" jack apologizes and just then natalie blows her whistle really loud, she was wearing shorts and the school's tshirt.

"quiet everybody please, as you know coach had her leg broken so i'm in charge for gym class and i have zero tolerance for laziness" she starts with her inflated ass ego and i cross my arms, i didnt wanna attend but i knew she would fail me if i didnt.

"and while we are at it, who goes to ronnie's parties?" she asks and jack, alex, and a couple more people raise their hands and i hesitate but i raise mines too.

"ahh good see danielle and jack DO attend it, do you guys wanna tell us what happened last night?" she says as she puts her whistle down so it hangs from her neck.

"i'm sorry?" i start growing angry, and still my stomach was knotting, me and jack had sex in one of the rooms, we got so drunk and we just did it, and i was scared anyone found out, i can barely even remember details.

"being rude to me doesnt exactlyyy work in your best favor, behave" she demands as she gives me the dirtiest looks and the entire room falls silent looking at me.

"if you dont cut the crap i will fucking jump you and your friends bitch" alex says as he gets angry in an attempt to defend me, and it just makes it worse, my breathing gets heavier and i feel my blood pressure dip.

"i tried being nice but listen, jack fucked danielle, the school's most major slut last night, and even cassie can tell you about it, i heard it got really loud" she makes faces as she covers her mouth in disgust, my ears start whistling and everyone looks at us and whispers.

and all i managed to do is run out of gym as jack followed me right after, i was crying hard as i ran down the corridors, one after another as he asks me to stop.

"HEY DANIELLE STOP" he yells as i run down the hallways and i trip on my shoelaces, falling on the floor and it makes me cry even harder, i felt the fall in my entire body, i dont pick myself up and i cry silently as jack catches up with me and hugs me from behind as i sob in his arms on the floor.

"FUCKING BITCH" i yell as i sob and he tries to comfort me as he kisses the back of my head, and then the counselor comes down the hallway.

"jack barakat and danielle quinn!" she yells at us with a walkie in her hand.

"o- oh i'm sorry miss" i say as i get up and i fix myself.

"what in god's name is happening? what is this inappropriate behavior?" she says as she eyes us up and down.

"she fell and i was trying to make her feel bett-" jack tries to lie.

"my office. now" she says and we follow her down to her office and she sits both of us down.

"so what happened?" she says as she rests her body weight on her elbows on her desk.

"oh i fell and scraped myse-" i try to explain and she cuts me off.

"danielle quinn, cut the crap, what were you two doing out of class and why were you crying" she says as she looks me dead in the eye and my throat knots as i look at her and at jack.

"w- well we went to get water from the vending machine and you see i fell and he was trying to make me feel better" i try to explain and i try to look convincing as much as possible.

"No, i dont believe that, if you dont tell me what happened i will call your mom" she says.

"i swear thats what happened miss-" jack says and she cuts him off.

"what are your parent's numbers sweetheart?" she says as she picks up her phone on her desk.

present time..
"HEY I'M TALKING TO YOU"  he holds me back using both arms and i fall on the floor, which gives him No option but to sit on the floor as i sob loud in his shoulder, as he held me down like a baby.

"FUCKING BITCH" i scream in anger and bitterness at everything he put me through, he held me down as he tried to comfort me and i just wanted this entire nightmare to be over, it felt like all of the trust and love left in us was gone the moment he put himself up her.

"why would you fucking do that to me, look at me" i say through my tears, i couldnt feel my body and i didnt feel real, i've been miserable for ages.

"i'm sorry" is all he manages to say as he still holds me down. my heart feels so heavy, last christmas we were celebrating with alex and sabrina, and jaime came down with mike with alot of wine to celebrate, and when we came home we had a warm bath and cuddled.

now what?

"please you need to calm down for me, i love you" he brushes my hair and i sob loud as i echo in the hallways.

"what the fuck jack what the fuck" i say and the words slur out from all of the tears i had in my eyes.

i dont know why was i acting this way, i couldnt show slight upset in rehab or they would have extended my stay, was i really getting better and forgiving him or was i convincing myself i was?