all time low (2012-2013)

throw your dress - bonus chapter

"are you showering?" jack asks me on the phone, he was on speaker and the faucet was running while i panic around the bathroom for my shaving products.

"uhmm yeah i'm! are you doing anything tonight?" i ask him.

"nope not at all baby, i think i'll be home by 9 ish" he tells me and i hear some background noise around him.

"alright then, i'll cya" and with that he hangs up. i quickly shave my body and i run downstairs in a towel to make food for tonight, i took jaime's advice and i went shopping with him and he gave me some lasagna recipe and said the shortest way to a man's heart is food, jaime are you my grandma?

but regardless i follow the recipe he wrote in my phone's notes and i finally shove it in the oven quickly, i run upstairs to continue my shower, yes, i shaved and cooked then here i'm finishing up my shower, not too sure how all of these scents will work out but fingers crossed, jaime got me this roll on perfume its like for behind your ears, wrists, ankles, and it tends to be more concentrated so it stays on longer and so it smells strong.

while the water falls on my head and shoulders, the defeating silence brings up awful memories, when my bandmates threw me in the shower to calm me down after a panic attack kellin induced, and the nostalgia of his abuse and terribleness towards me hits again, i was doing good at forgetting it, i wish i never dated him, i never even loved him that much.

my mind always wandered to jack, it was a guilt i carried around when i dated kellin, his anger and hate filled slaps and violent hits, it almost got me sick, how did i ever hold up with everything he did to me? i run my finger over a scar on my left upper arm, it healed, but its the kind of one that will never to away, pretty sure it was from a fight of his.

i didnt really want such a terrible memory to be a reminder with such a scar, every time i catch it with my eyes i remember one thing, how bad his grip hurt.

but i shrug the thoughts off, i didnt need to overthink and push myself around when jack isnt home to distract me.

i get it over with the shower and i quickly do my hair, i had a dark red dress on, sacrifices were made but its all jaime's part of the "plan" and he said if it worked and made jack's feelings loosen up then i'd pay for his booze the next time we drink, fine.

we bought these white candles and i swear i spent a fucking hot minute looking for the candle holders since we always use these bath and body works ones or we just light it and let it melt away on something like a plate.

i set up the table and i placed my lighter on the table as i fixed myself and walked terribly in heels, i got so used to flats and i go for long periods without heels it feels so funny to wear them again and i pray i dont break an ankle.

soon enough i see his car pull up in our driveway and i run downstairs quickly to light up the candles "fuck fuck fuck shit shit shit" i mutter as i run down the stairs trying not to trip over my heels, terrible idea.

i quickly light the candles i set up and i turn off all the lights, and i answer the door trying not to look like i was panicking seconds ago.

"oh well hello there" he gives me a smile while eyeing me as he walks by since it was cold outside.

"shit its so cold outside today" he tells me while looking at my body.

"shit danielle you look hot, you going somewhere?" he spins me around to get a good look at the dress.

"newp, but i made us dinner, look i outdid myself on this one" i tell him while leading him to the table.

"damn, what is all of this for we coulda just had chinese" he tells me while still having an idiotic grin falling on his face.