all time low (2012-2013)

wonderless

A/N: for some reason, if this chapter had a soundtrack, it would be wonderless by pierce the veil, should i give a soundtrack for every chapter?

it was our last show today, last dont panic tour show, it was an emotional rollercoaster for me, alot has happened during this tour, but hey, i was kinda happy that we'll be back home soon for the christmas holidays, i was excited to be spending it with the band and my boyfriend.

i was sad that this was it for dont panic, i remember jack waking me up and throwing me in the shower, saying mike green wants us down to the studio, and that we'll make a new album, with vic too.

i remember when i found out jack cheated, and when i moved with ronnie, when id go to the studio hungover and sick, the constant fights with jack, but also the good stuff in between. so much happened during this tour, and here it is, coming to an end.

"aw man, last show already?" alex says while frowning as jaime fixes his earpiece.

"yep, but it's been fucking sick" mike says while hitting his sticks.

"agreed" jack says.

"alright guys, i'll go use the toilet" i excuse myself and i go back to the tour bus, i take one last look in the mirror, and i take a deep break, last day on tour, really.

it was a banger show, and jack decided to take me out on a casual "date" after it, no fancy anything, since the venue we performed at was near a beach, he wouldnt stop nagging me about taking me there, and of course i agreed.

the beach was quiet, gloomy for some reason, i couldnt find people with friends or lovers there, just people by themself, and it was dark, and it being december already made the cold and wind like bullets, jack being a gentleman, he still gave me his jacket, just the way he did in highschool.

it bothered me how the sand made me walk in funny ways until we found two chairs to sit in, and he hugged me by the side the entire walk there.

"i got you some stuff" he hands me an opened box of cigarettes and one alcohol bottle, that he said we'd share.

"my savior" i laugh while lighting a cigarette for myself and i take a hit as he opens the alcohol bottle.

"can you believe dont panic era is over?" he says while selfishly taking the first chug for himself.

"sounds like total bullshit..so much..happened" i take the bottle from him as i admire the small waves crashing, it had shitty lightning, and it being 1am, it didnt make it any better.

"yep, about that..i'm still really sorry for everything i did, you deserved better" he tells me as he looks at the sand in shame.

"it's fine, we worked it out anyways" i blow the smoke.

"yeah i just sometimes get mad at myself, you know? why did i ever do that?" he tells me and hands me the bottle.

"i guess you got bored of me for a split second, if you've been with the same person since you were a teen, how come you could never get bored of them?" i tell him while taking the final hit, i blow the smoke and i stomp on the cigarette while drinking and i hand him back the bottle.

"i guess thats a thing, if it's a thing, but yeah i'm really sorry" he apologizes again.

"why the sudden wave of guilt?" i ask him while rubbing his hands.

"you know? this tour is over and i didnt exactly make it the best thing for you, i feel like you forced yourself to record every song and play every sho-" he goes on and on and i cut him off.

"hey! stop that! seriously.. there's still good memories from it" i reassure him, one thing about jack, ever since we were younger, was that he was so insecure about how happy he made me or if it was interesting enough.

and i guess that insecurity still taunts him.

"like the camping trip, finding bars downtown, cuddles in bed, the halloween trip" i say and he laughs.

"yeah that" he smiles and lightens up and slides himself down on the chair.

"well i'm glad you enjoyed it one bit, i promise i'll do better for you" he tells me.

"you are the best you could be" i reassure him.

after a couple of hours we go back to our tour bus to pack the rest of our stuff, since it was holiday season and everyone was flying back home so airlines were pretty busy, today was the only day that had tickets and we didnt have much of a choice of when to book the tickets, having a flight at 6am isnt the best thing.

back home..
"my fucking bed" i say while i throw myself on the bed, seriously, it was no fucking fun to sleep on such tiny bunks with the most uncomfortable mattresses.

"yeah, my fucking bed" jack agrees as he mindlessly throws himself on it next to me, laying on his back.

"you know, now we can have sex whenever we want, no wait for hotels for privacy" he says while laughing.

"shut up!" i get shy and i turn the other way.

"hey i'm right! what were we supposed to do when we were horny on tour! who came up with this god awful idea!" he complains while laughing to embarrass me even more.

"do what we did every tour! damn! nobody said to date your band member!" i say.