all time low (2012-2013)

cheater cheater

"what the fuck?" i jerk away the phone from sabrina's hand, zooming closer at the picture to make sure that its jack. it was him sat down at some bar with a girl on his lap while drinking.

"who the fuck is this bitch!!" i yell at her, almost as if its her fault.

"i'm sorry danielle, i dont even know" she takes a couple of steps back from the kitchen's counter, i was fucking furious, like i could kill somebody, she was scared of me.

"when was that" i sigh as i feel my blood pressure dip.

"i dont know, somewhere before you recorded a love like war" she tells me, we recorded a love like war during may. this was right after our camping trip.

"w- well what else do you know?" i ask her as i get nauseous, i feel my insides knotting up.

"i wasnt there, its jaime who told me about it, and i cornered alex, he couldnt lie" she says as she frowns, so upset for me.

"fine, send me the photo and go" i leave her alone in the kitchen and i head upstairs alone.

"are you sure you dont need me?" she asks me as she picks up her car keys, understanding that i need space.

"i dont" i tell her as i go up the stairs, all of my body is loose, i put my head on a pillow and i hug the other, i felt myself go out of focus again, just like the broken teen i was years ago.

i didnt know what to do and i didnt feel like asking anybody for advice, i felt sick to the pit of my stomach and i didnt know what was coming next for us.

it felt like shit, eventually i find myself falling asleep again, jack told me mike needed him down at the studio with mike to fix some parts he didnt like on a track, he said they didnt need me.

i'm a very light sleeper, so i can tell if someone is around in the room, jack comes back silently and he comes into the room, putting his sunglasses on the storage unit, and it wakes me up like somebody just startled me.

"woah i wasnt silent enough?" he says in surprise, thinking he didnt wake me up, i was gonna crack a joke like usual, or pull him in for a hug because i missed his familiar smell and arms.

but things arent the way they were before.

"who the fuck is the bitch with a black dress and yellow highlights" i ask him, my eyes still puffy from the 5 hour nap i just took, my voice cracking because i just woke up.

"w..what bitch with black dress and yellow highlights?" he asks in confusion as he puts his phone down on the vanity unit.

i furiously open my phone, my eyes still half shut from not fully freshening up post nap, i scroll for sabrina's message and i show him the picture of him and the girl on his lap. and he freezes in place like this was supposed to be forgotten.

"oh" he says and the room falls silent, all i heard was the whistles in my ears from my low blood pressure.

"you cant explain that can you? its self fucking explanatory" i say as my voice cracks again when i raise it, my eyes already are glassy from the tears i'm holding in, i feel like ripping him apart.

i feel so fucking foolish.

"look i'm sorry i was really drunk i couldnt tell what was happening" he tries to explain himself while coming closer at me and i punch him really hard at his chest.

"dont you fucking dare!!" i technically scream as i break down into tears, my eyes and face a bright shade of red.

"please calm down lets talk this out please" he says with a low voice, he sounds shaky, because he doesnt know what else is coming for him.