ＢＲＯＫＥＮ

ᴛʀᴜᴇ ʟᴏᴠᴇꜱ ᴋɪꜱꜱ

I'm just saying. This is the one. You know what I mean :) sorry for any spelling mistakes I've been so excited to upload this I haven't proof read it :)

I broke down in front of Wanda and Nat. I didn't even feel extremely sad I think I was just..confused.

Angry.

Damn angry.

I told them all of what happened, I didn't feel Really uncomfortable telling the story or I wouldn't, knowing that they would never ever try to force it out of me.

They looked fuming by the end of it.

Looking at them made me flash back to what I saw in Bucky's face that night: that was the only time he'd ever really scared me.

Before I passed out I saw the hatred in him, that flicker of the winter soldier left in his eyes.

I knew he meant no harm to me.

But I think that look would make anyone uneasy if not scared for their life.

****

The rest of the day past quickly. I just moped about really, unsure of where to go and what to do. And ultimately I became so bored and pent up in my own head that I just went to bed at 9pm.

I didn't see Bucky or Steve, though I could guess they were in the building when Nat would jump into the elevator, press a button high up - Steve and Bucky's floor was the highest in the tower- and come back out and go back up multiple times sighing.

I lay staring at the ceiling for a while, working out what I was feeling at this exact moment,
That I can't trust anyone? That I always end up talking to the wrong guys? That yeah, maybe I had a huge crush on Bucky.

And yeah, that came out of nowhere.

I furrowed my brows a little and turned over, hugging the duvet towards me and finally coming to a very harsh realisation.

Oh my god.

I do like him.
I thought, replaying every single conversation and interaction we'd had in the past month,

I'd liked him all along.

Then I smacked my hand against my forehead.

Damn it.

****

I was in a dark room. Bucky was kneeled down before me, looking up into my eyes. I could barely distinguish his face in the dim light.

'Kill him' a voice said from somewhere in the darkness, echoing around the room. 'Stab him' it said, and I noticed a knife in my hand.

I looked down at it, my movements slow, and I raised my hand involuntarily. I couldn't speak, or scream as I brought the knife up in line with his stomach. I was shouting inside my head.

Don't. DONT.

But i couldn't stop. I was trapped in my own mind.

After a moment of silence and anticipation the knife made quickly for his stomach, and his eyes widened-

I jolted upright, sweaty and panting, the lights already on in my room, my tank top soaked.

I rubbed at my eyes, as if trying to erase the nightmare from my mind. I yanked back the covers and looked at the time on my phone.

4am.

I'd had a relatively long sleep, compared to what i was getting these days.

Sighing, I followed my usual protocol, talking to F.R.I.D.A.Y, and slipping on some trainers.
Heading to the roof for solace.