ＢＲＯＫＥＮ

ʟɪꜰᴇ ᴄᴏᴜʟᴅ ʙᴇ ᴀ ᴅʀᴇᴀᴍ

Days passed.

No attacks.

I was stuck in the same state, sort of feeling like I was dreaming. Just wandering around without a cause. A short memory.

Dear Diary,

I feel like I'm floating. Like time is passing without me.

and it's the scariest feeling.

Bucky and I have barely spoken a word. I know I've never been in a relationship before but I know that it's not normal. Good communication is key right, and we had it before. Things are just.....

different- now.

I'm not waiting for him to say he loves me.

I'm not that petty and I know we haven't even been going out that long. Like a few weeks.

I don't want to rush him. I don't want to rush myself. I feel like if he says those words, everything changes.

When you reach that point in a relationship, it becomes way more serious. Maybe I'm just scared of taking things to the next level. I'm scared of what comes after.

God, i feel stupid.

My wound healed a while back. Apparently, i heal quicker now because of my powers and helpfully they actually saved me from death.

Multiple times.

The team have been weird around me and yes, it's starting to get on my nerves. I never thought I'd end up feeling angry. Even Bucky slips away to meetings all the damn time, and I've heard my father speaking with a man. He sounds British, like Loki's accent. It's a voice I've never heard before anyway.

I 'accidentally' heard a conversation yesterday. I can't remember much of it- my fucking short memory- but here's the gist.

Natasha: You're not joking are you?

Loki: Andddd why would i be?

i heard Nat sigh.

Tony: I'm sorry reindeer games

Bucky: Tony I'm not awfully fond of the idea myself, but we should give it a try

Wanda: i can help out

Loki: precisely

Thor: My brother will not betray you. At least i uh- don't think he will

Tony groaned

Thor: No- well- I'm sure he and y/n will get on just fine. My brother. He knows what he's doing with magic. I mean he did  turn me into a piece of paper for a few weeks...and then a snake....a rat..and-....but all was forgiven. He only tried to kill me about 46 times...........in a month.

Tony groaned louder.

I can't remember anything after that. I didn't listen for long after anyway when I heard someone walk to the door and close it. I leant against the wall for a while before trudging back to my room.

Now I'm finally going to break my silence. Find answers. I've healed, I've moved on, and I want to know what HYDRA are planning.

I deserve to know

y/n

I slammed the book shut. In the time I had been awake and healing, I had spoken to Devina. She said writing it all down helped. One thing she made certain of is the fact that she said it wouldn't work wonders. It would just help.