✔️ Body and Mind 3

Coping

A/N: If you read it anywhere else than on Wattpad (scammy platforms like NovelHD, etc.) it has been stolen and posted without my permission!

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The first year was the worst.

He could see Anya in everything.
In everything he did. In everything he thought. In everything he felt.

She was constantly on his mind and there was no escaping.

Yuzuru still woke up regularly at 3 am. First weeks bringing him the painful realization of her not being there. Over and over again. Ending up just staring at the ceiling as he lied in his bed, missing the warmth of her body next to his.
But he didn't try to fight that habit, he just accepted it as a part of his schedule now and after some time, it just turned into a short bathroom break or a walk for a glass of water.

He put his best efforts into training, pushing his body to the limits hoping the physical pain would dampen the emotional one.

It didn't help.

He asked his mum to go and spend more time in Japan with the rest of his family. Coming back just before competitions or just for random visits here and there.
Yuzuru rather wanted to live alone than with somebody who was not Anya.

His mum taught him some basic dishes and with a heavy heart agreed that she would give him as much space as he needs.

It didn't help him in feeling any better.
But at least now when he randomly burst into tears at home, he didn't have to go and quickly hide in his room.

And as the months went by and he saw that his strategy of trying to forget her is not working he decided he will just have to learn to live with it. To accept that she is not his anymore but that she is hopefully happier than he is.
And that was the only thing that was bringing him comfort as he started to subscribe to various scientific magazines and following her career.

The better Anya did, the happier he started to feel.

He wasn't sure if he was allowed to send her a congratulatory text when he saw that the CERN task she was working on was solved. By her. There was her name right next to the one of the Physicist's who came up with the theory. His name having various PhD titles and hers none.
Yet it was her who finally solved it. Even when it was at that time already offered to all other first-class Mathematicians outside of CERN.

He played with his phone for hours until he decided not to text her. Thinking that it might be only causing her pain and if she would want to stay in contact just a little bit, then it would be up to her.

To his immense relief it seemed that she did want it as much as he did, because several days after the article got published, he received a large soft package from her.

He went to quickly open it, seeing that it was his old jacket with a simple note of:

                                                                 "Could you?"

Yuzuru let out a sad chuckle and put the jacket on. For a moment he was hoping to catch the scent of her shampoo but it was freshly washed and smelled only as a laundry detergent he didn't know.
He went for a walk and then wore the jacket for almost a week until he sealed it in a plastic bag with a zipper, carefully wrapped it, and sent it back to her to Massachusetts.
This then became their little ritual every few months, no notes added anymore though.

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Then it was Christmas and Yuzuru was wrecking his head if he should send her a present or not.
In the end, he decided to send her only a simple Merry Christmas text, receiving the same one in return.