✔️ Body and Mind 3

Empty

Yuzuru's hand was trembling as he was fishing out the keys from his pocket but before he put it in the door lock, he closed his eyes and took a deep breath.
He repeated it few more times and after seeing it finally calmed him down a little, he opened the door and walked in.

For a moment he wondered if Emily is home because it was incredibly quiet in the flat and usually she always came to greet him.
So he took off his shoes and checked his phone for a message from her about running late.
There was no such text yet there were eight missed calls from Javi and twenty missed calls from Nyx.

His mind went immediately to the dread that something terrible has happened and he called out Emily's name.

-In the living room....

He heard her say, not calling back but still loud enough for him to hear.
He quickly strode towards the sofa where she was sitting and his heart skipped a beat as he saw her eyes were red from crying.

-Is everything okay? Did something happen to you? Javi or Nyx? Or----

He didn't finish his questioning as his eyes fell on all of Anya's items neatly displayed on the table, one lying right next to each other as if ready for an auction.
And at that moment he knew what had happened and his heart sunk.

-Em....

-Emily. Not Em. Not to you.

Yuzuru came over and sat down next to her on the sofa but the moment he did, Emily stood up and walked behind the low table to create a barrier between them.

-I don't even know where to start, Yuzuru!

-I am so so sorry....

-What is that good for?! Do you think sorry will even cover what you did?!

Yuzuru put his elbows on his knees, running his hands through his hair and desperately wishing there would be something he could say that would make it all better.
But there was not, so he didn't say anything and just stared at the floor, letting the guilt consume him whole.

-You know, first I thought why didn't you just tell me about her sooner? But then looking at this fucking box made it pretty obvious, why!
So then my actual question is why did you even begin to date me in the first place?!
Or you know what....wait.... let's try this one first - Did you ever even love me?!

-Yes! I still do!!

He raised his head hoping the pain she will see in his eyes will make it clear that he does have feelings for her. That he doesn't want to lose her. But her eyes were still hard with no intention to have any mercy.

-More than her?!

Yuzuru fell silent, keeping the answer just at the tip of his tongue, not having the heart to say it out loud, and wishing he could just disappear from the world.
And then he saw the flicker of hurt and disappointment in her eyes and the guilt floored him once more, making him dodge her gaze.

-Please just be honest with me for once, Yuzuru! More than her?!

She demanded, forcing her voice to stop wavering to make her feel as if she was in control of herself, but knowing she was very far from it.

-No.

-As much as her?

-I am so sorry, Em-Emily.

-So what kind of love is that?!!

Yuzuru now bent over, sliding with his hands under his thighs and putting his forehead against his knees, unconsciously trying to find some physical comfort in that position.