✔️ Body and Mind 3

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That evening, no matter how short it was, was absolute torture for Yuzuru.
Everyone's happy faces and behavior were in such a contrast with how he felt that he was on the verge of just storming out and leaving all of their glee locked behind the door.

But he couldn't do that. So instead he resolved to take an unnecessarily long shower and then excusing himself for being too tired and went to bed.
Emily followed shortly after him but he already pretended to sleep to avoid any talking.

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Emily woke up to the feeling of being boiled alive. She could barely breathe and when she finally came to, she saw Yuzuru tightly wrapped around her, half of his body over hers and his palm resting on her chest, right below her neck.
She smiled a little, glad to see he missed her as much as she missed him, and even though the position was incredibly uncomfortable for her, she didn't move and just stroked his back instead.

It didn't take long and she could feel him waking up, his hand slowly going up to her neck and jaw, stopping at her cheek and then suddenly dropping down lifelessly.

-Em...

He let out and she couldn't help herself but hear a faint tone of disappointment in that word.
But she also knew it must have been just her imagination.
She did notice that he seemed off when he arrived last night, but first, she credited it to the long flight and general exhaustion from the trip. And then, when he quickly disappeared into the bedroom without even waiting for her to be finished, she did began to wonder if something happened in London.
Because no matter how many times he came home from competitions after a long flight, he was always ecstatic to see her.
And many times she didn't join him at the competitions even when Nathan wasn't there just for that. Just for enjoying his excitement when he sat his eyes on her after a long time apart.
But that wasn't there yesterday and she was now sure that something was off. But had no idea what.

-You okay, Zu?

He didn't answer and instead just squeezed her tight in his arms and then rolled off her, sitting up and rubbing his eyes.

-Did something happened there? In London?

Yuzuru felt as if all of his insides were turning in knots and he darted from the bed, running to the bathroom and throwing up the moment he reached the sink.
A second later there was a soft knock on the door and Emily's voice came through.

-I knew the English cuisine gonna mess up your stomach. I will go and make you some light soup, okay?

Then he heard her footsteps fainting and grabbed the edges of the sink even tighter before he threw up again.
And he knew it wasn't any bad food, it was his nerves getting the better of him.
Yuzuru felt like he was absolutely losing it and just collapsed on the floor, hugging his knees and having no idea what to do.

He couldn't imagine having to go through it twice now. To break up with the person he loved. But at least with Anya, something good came out of it. With Emily, he will only hurt her. Hurt both of them. And all that just in the name of honesty. Honesty that he loves her, honesty that he didn't cheat on her in the general sense of cheating. But just simply because she wasn't enough and for some fucked up reason she should know.
How was he supposed to tell the person he loved and who loved him back with all of her heart that she isn't enough? That there is somebody he loves more. And that he is telling her that just for the sake that she should know. Because it is apparently the right thing to do. But how could something so vile and cruel be the right thing?
There was absolutely nothing good that would come out of it. Nothing. And he knew he has to do it anyway.
And no matter how much he was trying to cling to the hope that she would forgive him and somehow found a way to make it work, he knew that it's just stupidly naive.
Because as Anya thought that he would only tell Emily that he used to date her, he knew if he was supposed to be completely honest with Emily, he should also tell her that he loves Anya more.
And that part was breaking his heart more than anything else.