Control ~Levi x Reader~ {Modern AU}

98

Third Person POV

They sat in silence for a few moments. 

"I hope you know opening up is new to me. So give me a minute." Levi said. 

Y/N smiled softly at him. 

"That's fine. I just want you to open up." She said. 

He was nervous. 

He wasn't necessarily the most inviting person. 

The only two people he had ever confided in in his most recent years was Hange and Erwin. 

And yet even they didn't know a whole bunch.

He decided he was going to start with the simple stuff first. 

"I'm sorry that I said those things to you that night. Like you said, I didn't mean it. I was just mad. I didn't even know I was saying that. It was sort of like I just blanked out. And even then, I shouldn't of had said that at all. After you left, I regretted that I even say that to you." Levi said while avoiding eye contact. 

Then he continued. 

"I was upset about how you had gone to someone else to help you out when you hadn't even talked to me about what happened at all... I didn't understand why you went to someone else when you could have just open up to me. I thought we were in a really good spot with one another. So for you to just shut down and shut me out like that... it was concerning... even when I tried, you didn't let me in."

Levi stayed quiet. 

Y/N knew that opening up was tough for him, so she wanted to ask a question that she was wondering for a little. 

"Levi, how did you find out that I was planning on running away?" She asked softly. 

Levi let out a soft sigh. 

"From Sasha. I made a conscious effort to not tell you about her. Remember how she had mentioned that you looked familiar, or that she knew you from somewhere. Well the next day, she told me how she remembered you. She's Jean's friend. They went to college together and are still in contact. She said that Jean would constantly talk about you and had shown pictures of you. She also didn't put two and two together when she started working for our company. She's actually the one that kept me informed this whole time." He said. 

Y/N was taken aback. 

She didn't know if she should be happy, mad, upset, or anything else. 

"Each time you went to go see Jean, or you two would cross paths, I knew about it. He would always tell her and she would tell me. I don't believe he knows she works for me or anything.  That one time that you had met Jean at the park without telling me a while ago, I already knew about it. Sasha had told me about it." 

Y/N sat there wide eyed. 

She really didn't know how she should be feeling. 

But nonetheless she stayed quiet. 

"I didn't mean to basically stalk you like that... it just happened. You weren't opening up like that to me, and she was telling me things that happened that you didn't tell me. So I took my chances. Again I made a conscious decision not to tell you about it all. Especially how she knew you." He said to her. 

Then they stayed quiet for a few more moments. 

Y/N had more questions. 

Not about Sasha, but of other things. 

Thoughts on her letter, she purposefully didn't mention it because she wanted to hear what he had to say about it first.

Thoughts on the previous girl. What was she like? Levi never mentions her. It's almost as if he's filtering himself around her to ensure he doesn't say anything. 

She also wanted to know what he has done the days that she was gone. What changed? Did he feed himself properly? Did he watch over Pepino? 

Of course he did, he isn't irresponsible. But she wanted to know why there was dog hair on their sheet covers now. 

Then Levi let out a sigh. 

He knew she had more she wanted to know. 

Especially since she had given him much more information than he was right now. 

"When you actually left, I was kind of a mess. But I still took care of myself and Pepino. I was under the impression that you were leaving us for good. So I accepted it. I would come home from work a little earlier so that I can spend a little more time with Pepino. I still continue to get frustrated while cooking, but it's getting better. On Friday, I went into work, and Sasha had talked to me. Well she made me talk and express how I was feeling to her." 

Y/N was glad that he had someone at that time that knew what was going on and that spoke to him. And that didn't judge him when he had opened up. 

She doesn't know the relationship he has with Sasha, but she assumed it was a healthy work relationship if she was able to go to him and talk to him about his personal life.

"She had noticed things about me that pretty much everyone had noticed but I didn't. She saw how much of a mess I was and spoke to me. It was weird talking to someone other than Hange or Erwin but it was nice to get it all out." 

That made Y/N smile. It was a soft smile, but a smile nonetheless. 

"I threw a vase that night. The one we didn't really know if we liked out here, well yeah, I threw it out of anger. It made Pepino whimper and all that, so from then on he slept in the room with me. Pretty much from then I, I spent majority of my time with him. He was loving the attention from me. And I really only did that cause I felt empty inside. So I used Pepino to fill that void. And it worked a little." 

Y/N was thankful that they had Pepino. 

Not only cause he was adorable, but he was that emotional support for Levi without actually knowing he was that support. 

But then how could he, he's only a puppy. 

"It made me feel better knowing you were actually with Eren. I was relieved that you had second thoughts about truly leaving. But then I had no idea when you would be back, in my head, I was thinking that you would possibly be back in about a month or so. Cause you actually wanted to get away, so I just assumed I wasn't going to see you for a while. But then you came back much earlier than I had expected." 

They were getting somewhere. 

"I was happy you were back, but also frustrated. Frustrated with both Eren and Sasha that they didn't tell me that you were back. Especially with Eren for not telling me you were here alone. I would have came back right away. Just seeing you here made me feel really conflicted. I wasn't expecting it and it caught me off guard." 

Y/N understood. 

She didn't even know if he was here and was freaking out during the car ride. 

"Then you wanting to go back to normalcy right away frustrated me even more. Like you just left, came back and wanted things to be ok... I appreciated you trying but I really wasn't having it. So I was glad instead of arguing I just went on a walk with Pepino. It made me feel better and I was able to decompress a bit." 

Y/N was also glad that they didn't argue then as well. 

Even though she was upset during that time, she was glad it didn't turn into a full on arguing session. 

"Then dinner wasn't any better... I just wasn't feeling myself and you putting up a fight pissed me off. But what I said was true. I really didn't want you to leave, but I pretty much reinforced you wanting to leave by arguing with you and saying mean things to you. Which Again I am sorry about." 

They were both feeling a little better. 

But Y/N still wanted to know more.

"What about my letter?" Y/N had asked. 

Here we go.