Control ~Levi x Reader~ {Modern AU}

48

Y/N POV 

The walk home was tough. 

I wasn't feeling good. 

Physically I felt fine, but emotionally I felt overwhelmed. 

I haven't seen him in years. 

How do I even tell Levi that I saw Jean at the park?

Do I even tell him about it? 

What am I supposed to say? 

Levi is going to know regardless that something is wrong, even if I don't openly tell him that I am not feeling the best and why I am feeling that way. 

It's just, we've finally gotten to a good spot and I felt myself actually falling for Levi... but seeing Jean, it ignited something in me. 

It was almost a sense of warmth that I haven't felt in a while. 

He has definitely matured. 

He appeared to look much taller than before and his shoulders had broadened and he grew his hair out just a bit. It looked nice on him. 

I was sitting in our kitchen just thinking about the park and the conversation that occurred. 

"Jean." 

"Y/N you looked like you changed so much. How are you? God I've missed you... Tanya go back to playing with the others." He had said as he engulfed me into a hug. 

Tanya had ran towards the playground.

I didn't hug back. I wanted to but I couldn't. 

I just felt overwhelmed. 

"I've- I've been ok... um not much has changed with um my parents. And oh uh um I'm actually married now." I said to him showing him my hand. 

His face softened significantly. 

"So they really made you go through with it huh. It must be hard on you, being in a forced marriage this young doesn't seem ideal at all. I'm sorry that I promised to get you out of there but couldn't fulfil that promise." He said looking a little sad. 

"Its ok... its not all bad." 

"How can it not be bad? Y/N they forced you into a marriage that they would benefit from. I mean for all we know we could have been across the country right now." Jean said chuckling. 

He had a point. 

"I was talking about my husband. He isn't all that bad." 

"Last time I heard about him he treated you terribly... but he was the one that got you so he won there." 

"Jean I have to get going, I actually have a few things I need to work on at home." I said starting to stand up. 

He also got up. 

"Are you close by? I was really enjoying our chat. We should really catch up. A lot has happened these past years that I want to tell you about." He said starting to get excited. 

"Jean, I'm married now I really shouldn't be-" 

"And he doesn't need to know. Neither do your parents. Listen Y/N, you gotta learn to live a little. Maybe not follow what your parents expect of you all the damn time. You're married but do you really want to be in that marriage? The one where they picked out the guy for you? Where you didn't have a say? The one you just had to accept?" He was saying. 

"But Jean I-" 

"It's your choice. I'll be back here in about 2 days with my niece and her friends. You should come join us if you want. We'll be here at around the same time as now. Again, no one needs to know about it." 

He engulfed me into another strong embrace. 

I've missed his hugs so much. 

I've never been hugged the way Jean hugs me. 

Thinking back on that all just made me feel so overwhelmed. 

I was missing Jean but I didn't know how I was feeling right now. 

I have Levi. 

But then Jean is back and he'll be at the park in 2 days. 

Again I have the opportunity to meet with him. 

But how do I tell Levi if I really do want to tell him?

Do I even want to meet up with Jean? 

I'm already a married woman.

I can't just meet with a guy in a public park. 

Well I can since that looks better than just meeting in private behind closed doors. 

It would all just look bad and we don't want that. 

I just have a lot on my mind right now. 

I don't really know how I am feeling. 

What am I supposed to be feeling right now honestly? 

Happiness that I have seen Jean? 

Happy that I can catch up with him? 

It's just all so frustrating. 

I don't get why he had to show up now of all times. 

If it was before my wedding I would be completely ok with attempting to run away again, but now I'm actually having good days with Levi. 

Like the other night where we were goofing around and he tackled me and tickled me. 

And when he kissed me good night. 

Or when I kissed him good night a while ago. 

Little things like that I am appreciative with Levi. 

But am I really truly happy? 

I'm just... 

UGHHHHHH! 

I want to cry but what would I be crying for? 

All my problems are still going to be there when I am done crying. 

I heard the front door opening and Levi walked in. 

I want to be alone. 

"Hey Y/N... you looked bummed about something." He said looking tired. 

"I just want to be alone honestly that's all." I said quietly. 

"Did you want to talk about what's on your mind?" He asked still tired yet there was concern in his voice. 

I shook my head no and he let out a sigh. 

"Its not always good bottling things in, but whenever you want to talk about it I'll be here for you." He said. 

"Thanks... I just really want to be alone right now." 

"Let me get dressed out of this and I'll give you the bedroom all to yourself and I'll get a nice dinner going for us." He said. 

"I'm not hungry. I lost my appetite." I said to him. 

He let out a sigh. 

"We'll have that discussion when the food is actually ready then. Give me 3 minutes to change out of this suit." He said as he entered the bedroom to get dressed. 

What if I go meet with Jean and I don't tell Levi? 

Would that really be a bad thing to do?