Look At Me || Natasha Romanoff

Chapter 15: Feel

Third POV

"C'mon Tony think. Think." Tony said to himself in a taut tone.

He was pacing through his lab. He was trying to find a more permanent solution for y/n, but had trouble concentrating as what had just happened to her. He was about to go check on her, before Bruce entered the room.

"Bruce! How's she doing?" He sounded worried.

"She's fine, she took out too much energy. But I don't know how long until her next episode." Tony seemed relaxed at hearing she wasn't in any big trouble. "Tony, she's slowly getting worse again." He said softly.

Tony raised his hand to scratch his forehead. "I'm trying but I'm stuck on this." He walked to his desk and searched for his tablet.

"Tell me what you did to her, we can both figure this out." He followed Tony to the desk.

"Look at this." Tony ignored his comment and handed Bruce the tablet.

"What is it?" Bruce glanced at Tony as he examined the pictures and notes.

"Do you see it?" He placed his finger somewhere on the picture.

"Yeah." Bruce was relieved. "But how?"

"You're looking at a genius, billionaire, playboy philanthropist." He smirked.

———

"Okay, that one's on me." Natasha said rolling her eyes as she saw Steve leave.

"Yeah."

She stood up leaving the place that had just been bombed. Natasha made her way to the jet and back to the S.H.I.E.L.D. Headquarters. After landing, she immediately made her way to Fury's office.

"Mission complete." Natasha smirked as she handed the hard drive to Director Fury.

"Nice job, Romanoff." He smiled as he took the hard drive.

"Yeah, Steve wasn't happy about it."

"I'll deal with him later." He sat down at his desk.

"Okay, keep me updated!"

"Why the hurry?" Furry asked interested.

"Duty calls!" Natasha yelled as she left Fury's office.

"Yeah right." Fury chuckled to himself.

Natasha left the headquarters in her black corvette. She sped throughout the highway, anxious to see y/n. She hadn't seen her in a few weeks, since she was called to this mission with Steve.

She parked her car by the curb and rushed to her room changing from her black suit to more comfortable clothes.

She knocked on y/n's door.

"Come in." She heard y/n say and she slowly opened the door.

Y/n was at her table eating cereal. She stood up and smiled awkwardly. "Hey." She walked toward Natasha and gave her a quick hug.

"Hey, how are you doing?" Natasha asked as she sat across the table and y/n went back to her seat.

"I'm doing better" she tried to avoid the question, because she wasn't doing any better. She wouldn't sleep anymore. The nightmares were getting worse and the memories were slowly leaving again."How was your mission?" She said with a weak smile. She didn't want her knowing what she was going through.

"It was successful, Steve got the hostages out and I got the intel." She looked up at y/n who was already looking at her.

"That's good." She smiled and looked down at her bowl of cereal as she played around with the spoon.

"Hey, what's wrong?" Natasha realized y/n was feeling off. "Talk to me."

Natasha reached for y/n's hands across the table.

Y/n looked up at Natasha and removed her hands. "Don't." Y/n said quietly.

Natasha felt confused and held her own hands instead. "Don't what?"

Y/n refused to make eye contact. "I don't want to hurt you again." Her voice was trembly. She was reminded by the incident when she couldn't remember who she was and was about to hurt her.

"You're not going to hurt me." Natasha was looking directly at y/n, but y/n still refused to look her in the eyes. "Hey, look at me." She said almost raising her voice.

Y/n took a quick glance but looked back down. "I can't"

Natasha stood up and walked around to y/n. "Stand up" she urged y/n.

Y/n stood up. They were now facing each other. Natasha reached for her hands once more. Y/n was about to pull them away, but Natasha gripped them harder.

"Natasha, I'm not doing this." Y/n looked down at their intertwined hands.

"Why? You're giving up on us?" Natasha asked y/n with a tight voice.

"Natasha, there was never an us!" Y/n huffed as she let go of her hands. Y/n started walking to the other side of the room as she had her hands on top of her head.

"So you're telling me you didn't feel anything when we kissed! You don't feel anything when you look into my eyes? You don't feel anything when you feel our hearts sync! You don't get this feeling that when you see me in a room, you want to taste every inch of me? Because I do, y/n. I-I feel all those things. Every fucken time!" She expressed in a brittle voice as she walked behind y/n.

Y/n turned around at hearing this confession. Natasha got closer and the only gap between them was thin air. "You don't feel any of that?" Natasha said in a whisper as she placed her hands on y/n's cheeks. Y/n finally looked in Natasha's green eyes and felt her own eyes water but resisted the tears. Natasha pulled her slowly and their foreheads were now touching. "Y/n." Natasha whispered again waiting for an answer. "No." Y/n closed her eyes and said in a quiet toneless voice.

Natasha felt a sting in her heart at hearing y/n say this. It was one word, but the word she didn't want her ears to hear from y/n's mouth. She closed her eyes and multiple tears came out. She let go of y/n and let out a sigh.

Y/n tried not to breakdown at that moment, but she couldn't handle seeing Natasha like this. She wanted to comfort her. She stepped forward and took Natasha in her arms. "I'm sorry" y/n said as Natasha was startled by the unexpected comfort.

"I'm sorry too." Natasha pushed her off and walked out the room as the door slammed behind her.

Y/n fell down to her knees as tears finally left her broken eyes.

A/N: :)