Black Waves

When There Is Support

Andy is packing his bag for his tour when he hears his phone ringing. He picks it up and sees his boyfriend video calling him, from what looks like a hiking trail. "Hey baby, haven't heard from you in God knows who long."

"Yeah, about that, I'm sorry."

"Is everything okay baby? You haven't been acting like yourself lately."

Remington sits down on a bench. "I've gotta be honest with you Andy. I've been distancing myself away from you because I really thought you were going to find someone else while I was gone. I just didn't want to feel the heart break again." He looks down.

Andy grows concerned. "What the hell would make you think I'd ever do that to you babe? You are the best thing that has happened to me."

"Well, I have been cheated on a lot in the past. And really you are too good to be true."

Ugh I wish I could hug him. "Baby, you haven't been hurting yourself, have you?"

Remington feels tears well up in his eyes. "I...uh..."

Andy sighs, "Show me sweet heart. I need to know what you've done."

His boyfriend whimpers, "D...do I have t..too?"

"Yes love. I can't help if I don't know."

Remington changes the camera screen and rolls up his sleeve, showing how raw and scarred his left arm is. He does the same for his right arm, then changes the camera back to him. 

Andy gulps. I didn't think it would be this bad. "Baby love, you need to go show your brothers. You cannot be alone when this keeps happening."

"I'm sorry I'm a failure..."

"Stop that right now. You are not a failure. You are struggling. It's okay to struggle but you need to be open with your support system. Would you feel better if I texted your brothers for you?" 

Remington nodded. He starts walking back to the bus.

"Okay baby, I will. Has there been anything else going on?"

Remington nods again. "I uh...I haven't been eating really."

"Have you lost any weight?"

"Yeah, about 25 pounds," he whispers. 

"Fuck baby that isn't okay. You were tiny to begin with. 

"I think it's my anxiety over everything. I've been to nauseous and anxious to eat."

"Are you sure there isn't anything else happening to make you so anxious?"

Remington looks away and whispers, "Nothing else." That's a lie if I've ever heard one.

"Okay baby, so I'm going to text your brothers about this so they can help. Get to the bus and relax for the rest of the day, okay? And text me every couple of hours on how you are feeling. I love you so fucking much and can't wait to see you next month."

Remington smiles. "I'm sorry I didn't just come out and tell you about everything I'm feeling. I guess I'm still a shitty boyfriend."

"No sweetie, you are just fighting some demons. And you are still learning to trust me too. I'm always here baby."

Remington gets on his bunk and sighs. "Andy, maybe can you keep this between us for a little bit?"

Andy frowns, "I thought you just said you wanted me to tell your brothers. Are you second guessing everything?"

Remington bites his thumb nail and leans back on his bunk. "Andy...I'm just not ready for this conversation. I trust them with some things but with this, I only want to trust you with it. If it gets worse then I'll tell them. But for now...I only want to talk to you about it, okay?"

"You promise you will start eating more sweet heart?"

"I promise. I'll also make sure to either call or text you every day. And you do the same. Okay?"

"Okay baby. Go get some food now and watch some movies. Tour starts tomorrow for me so I'm going to keep packing. But if you feel any different or sad or want to hurt yourself, call me before you do, okay?"

"Okay. I love you..."

"I love you too Remi. Can't wait to see you."