Black Waves

When Loneliness Sets In

The last two months have been miserable for Remington. He loves his brothers dearly but wants to be with his husband more. Andy has visited for three days once and has since returned to Atlanta. They have been having Zoom meetings with a therapist weekly and have gotten to the issue of their problems. It is just now up to Remington to forgive and move on or leave his husband. His suicidal thoughts came back in full force but he's hesitant on telling Andy.

Sebastian made some bomb french toast and him, Remington, and Larisa are sat at the diningroom table with Mishka. Remington knows that Larisa loves him but feels like his stay is over welcomed so he tries to stay away from the couple. He ends up packing his things and goes back to Andy's house in LA. Sebastian still comes over daily to check on him and Emerson stays with him from time to time. 

But the depression is crushing him. He feels so alone. So unwanted. As if magic happened, Andy starts ringing him. He hesitantly answers the phone.

"Hey my darling. You missed our Zoom this week. Is everything okay? You haven't even texted me in days."

"I left Sebastian's house earlier this week. I didn't feel wanted. I was a third wheel. So I'm staying at your place for the time being. I don't know anymore Andy."

"Oh baby. Maybe it's time you come back home? And you know that house is your house too. But I want you to come back home, even if it's just for a visit."

"Andy, we need to talk." Remington's stomach is feeling heavy but he breathes it out, not wanting to risk another ulcer scare.

"Talk to me darling, what's going on?"

"I...um... I don't know how to say this. But I started cutting myself again. I've also been popping pills at night to even get through and go to sleep. The high is starting to get addicting."

Andy gulps and tries to stay calm. "Okay darling. Thank you for telling me. Is there anything else?"

"I want to kill myself, but is that really surprising?"

"Come home baby. Just for a week. I'm scared for you right now. You don't need to be alone. Stay with Emerson when you get back, okay?"

"Okay," he whispers. 

"Go ahead and get on the earliest flight possible and let me know when you get there. Don't even bother packing anything, you still have everything here. Come home baby."

Remington hangs up the phone and calls an Uber, eventually getting to the airport.